Apr 14, 2016
Is it ever OK to change AFL teams?
Seriously why would you even ask that? Is something wrong with you?
Oh, I’ve heard all the excuses but really, except for perhaps two, they are all covering up for the fact that someone who does this is a deeply flawed human being.
Let’s look at the top reasons people change teams.
Partner barracks for someone else
Sorry? AFL teams are permanent, relationships are not. I know, being in love makes you do strange things but barracking for a team is love, just on a bigger, grander and more meaningful scale.
If your partner insists you change teams then it’s time to change partners; it really is that simple.
Friends barrack for someone else
Weak. This is worse than the previous excuse. At least there you’re in love. If peer pressure gets to you on this, you may as well give up any sense of individuality.
If need be, don’t have friends. They’re overrated anyway.
You move cities
I’ve heard this a few time actually. Someone will say, ‘I used to be a Swans supporter but then I moved to Victoria and now I barrack for North Melbourne’.
I will usually just say to that person ‘there’s a special place in hell for people like you’ before storming off.
The point here is you were not forced to move cities. Oh you got a better job? Want tot be closer to an unwell family member? Met your soul mate? Trivial things like this are not reasons to abandon the most important thing in your life.
Get Foxtel, buy AFL Live, commute. Life is about keeping in focus what’s most important, not bending it to suit your fickle fancies.
Your team is awful
As Justin Timberlake once sung ‘Cry me a River’.
To quote JT:
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn’t think that they would come crashing down, no
Supporting a bad team is character building. It makes you a deeper and more interesting person than someone who has only known good times. It’s why Hawks fans are all shallow, awful people and Western Bulldogs fans are the salt of the Earth.
This is the worst excuse of them all. It tells me you’re the sort of person that will cut and run the minute times get tough. You don’t deserve AFL.
You just really like another team
Seriously, your starting to really annoy me now. Most AFL fans don’t like their team, it’s a luxury the majority of us can’t even dream of.
I spend most of my life being emotionally tortured by mine.
Children choose teams based on who they like and even then I think the fact they’ve been allowed to choose one at all reflects poorly on their parents.
Let me be clear, once you’re in on a team that’s it. Your emotional state and feelings are totally irrelevant. Life’s hard, get used to it.
Child plays for an AFL team
So your son got drafted by another AFL side? While you must be proud, time to disown them.
New expansion team near you
This applies in places outside of Victoria were new teams started when a lot of people used to have VFL allegiances.
I’ve some sympathy here. I mean, say you barracked for a VFL team and then the Crows came into existence, well you’d be in your rights to tell the Victorians to get knotted.
That’s it though; a one-time amnesty. Say you were born after the Crows and for some reason barracked for another team then that’s it. You can’t change.
What about a Crows fan who changed when Port Adelaide came in? Are you mad? Who is this person? Every true Port fan hated the Crows from the minute some marketing committee created them out of thin air.
Your team folds (the Fitzroy clause)
This also applies to University fans too, although I imagine there’s not many of them still with us.
I’d like to begin by offering my sympathies. You went through something no person should ever have gone through.
I’m happy with you to have either followed the Lions to Brisbane, selected another team or just stared at a wall in shock since 1996.
When people tell me they were are Fitzroy fans, I usually just wordlessly embrace them.
There’s usually a good ten minutes of sobbing while I tell them it’s not their fault, like Robin Williams to Matt Damon at the end of Good Will Hunting.
The fact Fitzroy were allowed to fold is one of the great tragedies of human history. I’m getting pretty angry just thinking about it.
Anyway, I’ve gotten off topic.
Don’t change teams. Life is about loyalty.