Jun 25, 2020

AFL

A highly unhelpful guide to Round Four

67 Comments

The only guide to the round that admits it’s completely unhelpful. What it lacks in insight, it makes up for with wild theories and detours onto unrelated topics.

It’s your unhelpful guide to Round Four.

Thursday

Sydney v Western Bulldogs (SCG) 7:40pm Seven

Just a word of warning that I wrote this column while in a bad mood.

‘Have you ever written this in a good mood?’ I hear you ask.

Well. No.

But I’m in a really bad mood at the moment, what with this whole COVID thing spinning out of control in Victoria again.

While I, like the majority of people, locked myself in my house and saw no one (granted, not a big change), others ran around doing the wrong thing, and the government seemed surprised by this.

Wouldn’t you expect people to do the wrong thing? Wasn’t that the point of enforcement?

And when this is costing your economy billions of dollars, wouldn’t you spend a lot of money on enforcement? It’s sort of a ‘money isn’t an object thing’.

I’d have parked a SWAT team outside the house of every positive case. I certainly wouldn’t have hired the people who normally guard a seven eleven at night to do the security at the hotels I was holding all the people with COVID in.

I mean, people’s lives are at stake, and even worse, the AFL season.

It’s doing my head in.

Now the rest of the country is laughing at Victoria and they’re right to.

And still I hear various AFL ‘personalities’ railing against the Grand Final possibly being moved out of Victoria for this year.

I mean, we’ll be lucky to have a Grand Final this year at all, and you can’t really hold it in the official plague state of Australia.

If you want to hold the Grand Final, don’t stuff up the one thing you had to get right.

Sydney to win this game.

Friday

Greater Western Sydney v Collingwood (GS) 7:50pm Seven

The constant perpetuating of an ‘us against them’ mentality, between Victoria and the ‘Interstate clubs’ as they call them, is what annoys me most about the AFL industry at the moment.

It’s a national competition and it’s better for being so.

Sure, it’s not a fair competition, and never has been. Looking for fairness in the AFL is like looking for love in a nightclub at 3am. It’s not happening and never has.

Do interstate teams get advantages? Yes. Do Victorian teams? Yes.

Do some teams get more advantages that others? Yes.

Do some teams get draft concessions when they probably shouldn’t? Yes.

Is it a hot mess that drives people crazy? Yes.

But it’s like complaining about the tides, they’re going to happen whether you complain or not. It’s never going to change, it’s too complex a system to ever get completely right.

The idea that the non-Victorian teams are somehow getting the most advantages though is ridiculous. Consider this, if you were given an expansion team, where would you set it up?

For me, it would be based in Melbourne and play at the MCG. Straight away you have minimal travel, play a lot of your ‘away’ games at home, and get a great chance of finals being played at your home ground, with the Grand Final a certainty.

You’ll also find player retention at lot easier.

Yet it’s often the richer, stronger clubs based in Melbourne that do the most whinging.

It’s like how the people in society who have had every advantage complain the most.

Collingwood to win.

Saturday

Port Adelaide v West Coast (Metricon) 1:45pm Foxtel

All these advantages don’t even win premierships. Competency does. Competency is the rarest substance in the AFL. And it’s an unstable substance too, often disappearing just as it appears you’ve got your hands on it.

Take for example my team Melbourne. They’ve been the club of the Melbourne Establishment forever. They play at the MCG, they were once the powerhouse club of the competition, they have incredibly rich and connected supporters and have tight links to the MCC.

There’s no reason they aren’t THE powerhouse of the competition, except for decades of incompetency.

Even when they were handed advantages in the form of draft picks, their incompetency meant this was like pouring water into a bucket full of holes, a wasted exercise.

Then consider Richmond, they’ve played at the MCG for decades, have had a large supporter base forever and what has held them back over the years? The fact they couldn’t organise a quarantine system in a hotel.

Yet suddenly, they get some competent administrators, and low and behold, they get good again.

They almost stuffed this up too, remember the ‘Focus on Footy’ board challenge? Competency isn’t just unstable, it’s hard to spot until after the fact.

The biggest advantage a club can have is not shooting itself in the foot.

Take the Adelaide Football Club, they haven’t just shot themselves in the foot, but every limb and several vital organs.

Advantages or a lack of them aren’t their issue, much like myself, their problem, is them.

Competency will overcome every disadvantage built into the AFL and incompetency will hold a club down for decades, no matter what advantages you are given.

Port to win.

St Kilda v Richmond (MS) 4:35pm Foxtel

We do need to take stock at the state of football, especially when it’s under threat, and realise just how good the national competition is.

I love having teams in every state (dare to dream Tasmania).

I like the local rivalries, I like the interstate banter, I would even like the expansion teams to work, the more footy fans the better in my opinion.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still make jokes about them because they make it so easy, but I would like them to work out.

The expansionist, proselytizing nature of Australian Rules has been a big part of its success.

From its earliest incarnation, it was desperate to win over new converts. It’s the Scientology of sport.

The alternate approach was taken by Rugby Union, which for long parts of its history didn’t want certain groups of people to play it, even forcing the working class out to form their own version.

The result? Soccer overtook them in Britain and a lot of the world, and League and Australian Rules in Australia.  

They’re now in real trouble.

That’s why the whole Victoria dominated AFL media annoys the hell out of me. It’s anathema to the spirit of the game and a strategic threat to it.

Sure, Victoria is rich and powerful, but it doesn’t own Australian Rules. Western Australia, Tasmania, South Australia, all are essential to the game being as strong as it is today.

If they had gone the way Queensland and NSW went, and chose League, Australian Rules might not even exist today.

It’s about time people stopped treating them as enemies.

And NSW and Queensland came closer to being Australia Rules states than many people realise. What stopped them going that way? Incompetence. The enemy of football.

Richmond to win.

Essendon v Carlton (MCG) 7:40pm Seven

The other thing that’s annoying me at the moment, and I realise I’m doing it as I write it, is footy media types getting into arguments with each other and then that becoming news. 

Someone has an awful take on some issue, so then another guy, who is also an idiot, fires back, and then it’s written up in an article like it’s a debate as important as Abraham Lincoln debating Senator Stephen Douglas on the issue of slavery.

The self-importance is overwhelming. When I write this stuff, I know it silly nonsense and that I know very little. I’m frequently wrong. Anytime I’m right is pure accident; I can assure you.

We are all like this about football. Football has been invented to make us all look like fools. That’s the fun of it.

No one understands it. It’s impossible to predict because it’s beyond human comprehension.

Every attempt to understand it on a deeper level results in people understanding it less. Just look at Champion Data.

That’s why I don’t want to read about commentator X getting into a spat with reporter Y, because we all know they are both wrong.

Carlton to win

Gold Coast v Fremantle (Metricon) 7:40pm Foxtel

Which brings me to another point. It’s no wonder that the AFL media is stuffed at the moment.

One, it’s never really been a place for diverse views. You either fit a very specific mould or you’re not let in.

Even more surprising is how hard it is to get out of the AFL media. It’s easier to leave the mafia.

Look at the recent Sam Newman news. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Newman had been running an experiment for years to see how much it took to get sacked from an AFL media position.

It turned out you can do a lot and still retain your job, and when you do finally get sacked, the media will bend over backwards to paint it as a mutual decision.

It really is astounding.

Now, with budgets being slashed in the media, expect less voices not more.

It’s not all the media’s fault either, Facebook and Google vacuum off all the advertising revenue, using other people’s content, leaving less and less for content creators. 

As a result, were getting less and less good quality media overall and the footy media is no different.

The business model is broken, and governments don’t seem to have the power, or the stomach, to change the model.

COVID has only sped up this process.

Watch the AFL media become even more Victoria based due to cost cutting. and the views come from even fewer people, all basically with very similar backgrounds, mainly ex footballers.

I know this is happening with the political media too, all though this is being centralised in Sydney, but the outcomes are the same.

It’s disappointing it’s happening in the political media, but it actually matters that it’s happening in the AFL media.

This lack of advertising dollars coming into major and smaller media outlets is a real worry for the health of the game.

Gold Coast to win.

Sunday

Brisbane v Adelaide (G) 1:05pm Foxtel

The reason it’s a threat to the health of the game, is because we need a footy media with a broad national outlook, not self-interest dressed up as football commentary.

There are not many sports where Presidents or board members of clubs are also the main voices in the media, but the AFL have this happen all the time.

You all know that when you talk to your friends, the current AFL media is more laughed at than respected. There are a few exceptions, but much of it is more insular and incestuous than the royal family.

When I talk to fans of non-Victoria teams, they genuinely feel alienated by a lot of the footy media.

So too are other groups like women and minority groups.

A sporting code that doesn’t include a wide variety of groups can end up in real trouble.

Brisbane to win.

Melbourne v Geelong (MCG) 3:35pm Seven

What we need to do is approach the current crisis as footy fans first, not as a state war.

We need to grow the game more, we need to work harder to convert people to being fans, we need make some compromises while this is all going on to keep the game moving.

It might mean a Grand Final in WA. That is not the end of the world.

Arguing between states is actually anti-football. It’s not helpful at all. Almost all of it is just the self-interest of individual clubs dressed up as some semi-coherent argument.

We’re going to come out of this crisis with less money, less media voices and the powerful clubs ramming their own agendas down our throats.

As a football fan first and foremost, this worries me a lot.

Geelong to win.

Hawthorn v North Melbourne (M) 6:10pm Foxtel

I love football, and unlike many in the media, I think the game is still great on the field.

The on the field product doesn’t worry me anywhere as much as the off the field issues we face.

Like in all crises, we need to be wary of the enemies within even more so than those without.

North to win.

You can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. Find out more here: https://titusoreily.com/support-titus

COMMENTS

Margaret

Jun 25, 2020

Geelong to win? Oh no - not again! But then you're in a bad mood, Titus, and you were wrong about Melbourne v Carlton (just), so I hope you might be wrong again. If there's one bad thing about living in Geelong territory, it's having to put up with all the smug Geelong supporters when they beat Melbourne.

M.James.

Jun 25, 2020

This may be your finest hour, Mr. O’Reily.

Chad

Jun 25, 2020

absolutely brilliany! well written and on the money

whoever is playing melbourne to win

John Biddle

Jun 25, 2020

"Plague State" would be a catchy number plate slogan but I guess the deaths and financial anguish make it inappropriate.

abre

Jun 25, 2020

Wow... bleak.

Certainly wasn't the laugh I was expecting.

Does meet the brief of being highly unhelpful because it's definitely not about Round 4... Hope your mood improves.

John Anstey

Jun 25, 2020

Well said, Titus...all of it.

Yuri Fey

Jun 25, 2020

Your best ever. Congratulations!

Dan

Jun 25, 2020

This pre-game speil is by far the most insightful game analysis you've written!

On a serious note, it is a tad obvious this was written expecting the round to be cancelled due to the you don't, you do, you don't have the Rona circus.. slipping in the games, times & expected outcomes was a nice touch and saved an additional work.

Mitch

Jun 25, 2020

Bring Back State of Origin

on the edge of the world

Jun 25, 2020

Some of your greatest work yet Titus! You barely mention anything about any of the games, which is far better than any drivel that comes out of the mouths of most other commentators in AFL media. It's so good that you're always isolated as it would be a disaster if you caught COVID-19 and had to take two weeks off. If a week is a long time in politics then two weeks is whole the career for some players who pop out for a wild party during lockdown. Is it your social distancing that keeps such great writing alive? :-)

BLOKE FROM THE OUTER

Jun 25, 2020

ABRE - I laughed a lot.

So bloody right Titus. I've lived in most states and its grim how parochial it all is. And even as an ex Victorian I'll always barrack for any team against Collingwood (I know, even Adelaide; there, I said it). If anything, I'm often keen for non Victorian teams to win the GF. We don't want to end up like the EPL where 5 teams share the titles or, worse still, Spain where only 3 teams have won the league in 50 years.

PJ

Jun 25, 2020

Intelligence, integrity, and sincerity* in a footy column...?

Well, THAT's never gonna work, Titus...

*I know. Alert the media.
Oh... Wait...

DP machine

Jun 25, 2020

Your best yet Titus. Sure, not particularly funny, but these are not particularly funny times. Yes, the people with the most advantages seem to do most of the bleating. Yes, every team has what might be considered an advantage, but like the famous quote, everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others. Add me to your list of interstate footy fans, disenchanted with the way AFL media reports on the game from its ‘heartland’ here in Vic. Most Vics seem to forget the parlous state of the VFL and it’s clubs before the ‘interstaters’ added millions in revenues and eyeballs.

Pablo

Jun 25, 2020

Brilliant piece of writing Titus. Myself I think traditional clubs from other states should have been brought in to form the national league. This raises it’s own problems but there it is. That boat sailed about 35 years ago unfortunately.

DK

Jun 25, 2020

Great stuff Titus. Highly unhelpful for my tipping, of course.

If only our state leaders stopped seeing votes in taking pot shots at eachother, they might be an example of give-and-take across borders. I am not sure if we need to grow up first or they do.

Anthony

Jun 25, 2020

Great to read your review of the football industry (as they call it at AFL House) with occasional references to this week's round, Titus. You are spot on about the Melbourne media. Thank goodness we have Kane Cornes!

Luuuc

Jun 25, 2020

A beautiful reality check that not nearly enough people will even see, and even fewer will comprehend.
Also, hope you're wrong about Port this week.

Graham A

Jun 25, 2020

You made me read all the through! Seems being in a "really bad mood" make you Wise, Sagacious, Knowledgeable, and even Insightful... Different!

Rob Lamb

Jun 25, 2020

I liked reading your points. Well-written arguments, all of them, with examples. Too many in power want even more. Stuff them. Having diverse participants in the AFL admin, media, club management and the players, who are able to play the argument/ball not the person, makes the game stronger. I hope your writing gets out to all participants for their reflection.
Cheers big ears,
A Canberran
Ps not that any of your readers would do so, but I wish those thankfully few fans yelling out racial abuse to our Australian rules players would leave for America and stand with the diminishing few to vote for Tronald Dump.

Gyfox

Jun 25, 2020

PABLO........have you forgotten that Port Adelaide is the one non-Victorian traditional club in the AFL? 150 years old, no less, & have a better jumper than Collingwood! The only problem is that their ill-fated bid to join in 1991 is responsible for the Adelaide Crows. Almost as much hatred from the other 9 SANFL clubs for Port Adelaide as from Eddie. But that's what tradition & rivalry is built on, right?

mocaholic

Jun 25, 2020

Funniest column ever, Titus. Its intrinsic humour is in the fact that a) you're entirely correct and b) nothing will change.

Belly

Jun 25, 2020

Anyone who says that’s not funny needs to unsubscribe. I think I’ve wet myself.

Doggy Dancer

Jun 25, 2020

If would be good enough to run for Premier of this State, I will support you. I run a printing business, so we can rip millions from the coffers.

Johnno

Jun 25, 2020

Straight from the heart Titus. You are the voice of disillusioned footy fans.
I did like this analogy
"But it’s like complaining about the tides, they’re going to happen whether you complain or not. " But you obviously haven't heard of the anti-vaxxers who want to nuke the moon. :) Anyway mate keep it going.

ABFAB

Jun 25, 2020

WA & SA won't be happy until all the Victorian teams are gone, and it's only them left. Such monumental forest of chips on their shoulders.......

JOHN

Jun 25, 2020

Take that E. McGuire & J Kennett...

Ted

Jun 25, 2020

An American's perspective on AFL media

AFL TV commentary is shockingly bad, almost to the point of unlistenable. For starters, why are 3/4ths or more of the comments devoted to radio play-by-play for a televised sport? I don't need a running list of every player who touches the ball and what they do with it. I'm watching the game. I can see what's happening. Where's the analysis, the deconstruction of the play, the breakdown of strategy? And no, Dermott's slow-talking-makes-what-I-say-have-profound-gravitas doesn't count. Neither does Dwayne's clever and oh so fresh declaration that fortune favors the brave.

The number of poor, really poor, commentators far outnumber the truly insightful. And every time a Riewoldt, Pearce, or even Lyon begin to offer a shrewd observation, they're cut off by BT grumbling about a bad bounce or an awkward "Gee that was swell" from Richo.

Just like being a Brownlow medalist doesn't make you a good coach, being a 4 time All Australian doesn't make you a good commentator.

Glockers

Jun 25, 2020

Here endeth the rant. I know these games are all a bit Mickey Mouse but some actual analysis used to be the basis of your newsletter.

Steve

Jun 25, 2020

...RUOK?

Keith

Jun 25, 2020

What M.James said.

Mac Hawk

Jun 25, 2020

The only real supporters are us who live on the other side of the world, get up at 2am to watch two hours of our team playing like shit while risking divorce from feisty South American beauty who gets woken up at 3am to the sound of a glass shattering on the wall as Tim O'Brien drops yet another mark. You are all spoilt wankers.......and yes, spot on.

Shags

Jun 25, 2020

Spot on Titus. The football ‘commentariat’ just produces massive amounts of self-destructive BS.

Michael.C.

Jun 25, 2020

@Ted - being saying the same thing for a long time and even the camera doesn't need to be wedged between the players. I go to watch my team (sadly the crows with the self-inflicted bullet holes all over) and I have a great view cleraly seeing all the ground but an excellent view of 25m each way. Sit back talk about structures and an overview of what is happening, not who just kicked it or handballed it I can see that for myself.

@anthony - "Thank goodness we have Kane Cornes!" said no-one ever. He is terrible, symtematic of what is wrong with the media; they want to be a part of the story or make stuff up to create a story rather than state facts. Some people say its an "opinion" piece but that doesn't mean you can lie and he does.


@Titus - Love your work, always do even when you make fun of the crows. We even make fun of ourselves, have you seen us play we are like the characters from the Wizard of Oz. No heart, no brains and no courage.

Roger Baggaley

Jun 25, 2020

Thank you. It’s nice to see somebody in the media actually say it like it is.


Oh, and I’m really worried that your tips are all the same as mine.

Tom

Jun 25, 2020

I’ve got my pitchfork and I’m ready to march on AFL house to make Titus our new AFL chairman! Who’s with me?!

Luke

Jun 25, 2020

Hear hear a Titus! I'm a Bombers member in Sydney and I want to see the game grow around the country, at least one team in every state and Territory. And I'd love to truly see the AFL as THE national footfall code of Australia..it nearly is, but if the recalcitrant cockroaches (NSW) and cane toads (QLD) taken on the absolutely superior game of AFL instead of rugby league 🙄😴, imagine what the AFL could be like now!

Vlad

Jun 25, 2020

Bruce McAvaney has covered every sport shown on TV from tiddlywinks to croquet, especially AFL, using the same formula: first requirement is to know absolutely nothing about the game. Airwaves are filled instead by relaying exactly what you are watching on the screen, followed by little factoids about the score, the players, the venue, and most of all the statistics, all of which are lifted straight out of book on sitting on his knee. Simulcasting doesn’t work because radio is a few seconds ahead of the game, so I must watch in silence. Any suggestions?

Paul

Jun 25, 2020

Amazingly well written, nailed it completely. When Round 1 kicked off, I was excited that it would give us something to cheer during this time of crisis but as Covid-19 wore on and the AFL was forced to suspend, I found I wasn't missing it and even began to resent the league due to many of the issues you've raised. This is the biggest fear the AFL will be having, that they've turned people off the sport and they realise that there's more to life than watching highly paid sports people. I've always preferred the local anyway and the AFL have done all they can to chip away at the foundations when we probably need that community connection more than ever.

peter lake lake

Jun 25, 2020

Wow, you are grumpy today. Having said that you make a lot of sense on many subjects and that just worries me. Stop writing sense and get back to your normal but enjoyable diatribe.

LDB

Jun 25, 2020

Your finest work. Cheers from interstate

Robert

Jun 25, 2020

Turn down the volume...put on Richard Wager and dont turn it up again unless Dipper comes on

Shaun

Jun 25, 2020

Brilliant piece, I agree with everything.

The issues you raised are the main reason why I’ve turned away from AFL over the last 2-3 years (and partly because I’m a Freo supporter).

The continual bullshittery that is the AFL media kills the game for me. Self-indulgent ex-players talking crap with their last remaining brain cells—and being championed for it—is destroying the game. Sure, as ex-players, they provide great insight into the game when the game is on. But during the week? Fk me. Get a hobby.

Then, there’s the “us vs everyone” mentality of Vic. The GF will not be held in front of 100,000 this year—that is a fact. As a WA’n, would be proud to see it at Optus, but equally as proud if held at Adelaide Oval. As long as GF day delivers like it has done in the past, it should not matter where it is played.

Again, love your work Titus—I read it weekly, even though I hardly watch the game itself these days. Keep it up.

Bruce Harris

Jun 25, 2020

Titus said this:
I’m frequently wrong. Anytime I’m right is pure accident; I can assure you.
That may be the case, but this week you got the nail hit right on the head in that straying into serious football talk.

Fairwestuff

Jun 25, 2020

Titus, I enjoy your poking fun humour and sarcasm
But today this is thoughtful sensible logical and on the money
Good To see however rants should be limited to one a season or PC might take over
Look forward to more unhelpful guides and knee jerk commentary from your bunker

Ian

Jun 25, 2020

Not what I was expecting, but what a great edition. Thanks Titus, about time someone called out all of the crap that surrounds the great game. Unfortunately I think things will be very slow to change. Perhaps Eddie can head up an inquiry to assure everyone that everything is ok just the way it is?

Rocket

Jun 25, 2020

MAC HAWK - I hope that the many weeks of no AFL in the dead of the night has helped your marriage to the "feisty South American beauty"! Though maybe now the return of 'normal service' is causing a bigger problem. I know several fanatical supporters living overseas and yes that is a hard cross to bear.

Having also lived in several states and Territories outside Victoria, I also appreciate that the game as a whole is what matters. If the Grand Final were played in Perth in front of 30,000 fans of each team that would very likely be more actual supporters of those teams than are among the normal 100,000 Grand Final crowd at the MCG.

I am very glad the season has got going again and I hope that we get all the way through it, even if there has to be a 'break' along the way. Watching the games (even if only on TV) every weekend has returned a degree of normality to life in Australia.

Tricky Cat

Jun 25, 2020

Despite being angry your summary of the Sydney Swans v Bulldogs is absolutely spot-on.

Hamish

Jun 25, 2020

I get you're in a bad mood, but you can't just flippantly throw around "Gold Coast to win" like it's nothing

Borissimo

Jun 25, 2020

Even though Titus is apparently in self imprisonment (oops, isolation), he's delivered a brilliant state of the game piece.
The actual games have somehow been eclipsed by the media commentators that seem to think we're interested in their opinions & even worse that their opinions have merit.
Basically whilst they seem to love the sound of their own voices, I like many others wish they'd zip their lips.
Fantastic piece.

Lisa

Jun 25, 2020

Excellent as always Titus, except your North pick

Donna Grace

Jun 25, 2020

This world is a wicked world and not fair to anybody. At the snack of my finger things are made to happen, am now a powerful man and no one steps on me without an apology. I turn to human beings also at any time I want to, and am one of the most dreaded men in my country. I became a vampire through the help of my friend who introduced me into a vampire kingdom by giving me their email. if you want to become a powerful vampire kindly contact the vampire kingdom on their email worldofvampir@hotmail.com

Gatiss Allan

Jun 25, 2020

Some of the shit that goes down as informed football commentary is nothing other than point scoring, settling scores or vain attempts to be relevant, oh fuck it it is all three and more.
It is as effective as poking a dead fish with a stick and complaining that it has no ticker, no fight.
The AFL needs to bight the bullet, get rid of at least six Victorian clubs, get Tassie into the comp and share the GF with other States even though I am a MCC member.

Sally

Jun 25, 2020

Agree - beautifully crafted musings on the state of football - thank you Titus.

WARNEY

Jun 25, 2020

@TED +1

@ TITUS, But Titus, you don’t mention the solution (which you are part of) when you bleat about the media, it has been shit for generations with ch# 7, ch #9, the Hun, CW sniping in the Age amongst others.

There are more options than ever, there is: yourself, The Fat Side, Roar, The Mongrel Punt, etc, all producing interesting footy articles. Even fan based blogs from other clubs are capable of interesting perspective, such as WCE and Carlton (who I firmly loathe as clubs but credit to the content produced).

So much so, that I predict, much like all beer is boutique now days, (and CUB is a chattel of another country), Media on footy will be still pushed by the telcos, but it will be boutique offerings like you find on you tube etc now. Even the way Fox makes footy shows the trend of that direction. With the cliche factory footy shows running in the retirement homes only.

Or was this rant of yours because you got knocked back an official AFL media pass (-;

Terry

Jun 25, 2020

Damn. Spot on Titus. The boys club mentality and the lack of diversity meaning a$$holes end up in charge and post footy careers in media are based on nepotism, rather than ability - spot on. And you are right, if it's not fixed, the game will disappear. Great tip about North as well, stuff interstate rivalries, nothing better than beating the PooAndWee

DP Machine

Jun 25, 2020

Thank you @ABFAB - you just proved my point. Vic supporter with all the attendant advantages, yet bleats about sore loser interstaters.

‘Forest of chips on shoulders’? Quality writing right there.

Kelly

Jun 25, 2020

Well done Titus, you’re a kindred spirit

A Fan

Jun 25, 2020

SO GLAD TO HAVE YOUR COLUMNS BACK TITUS! I LOOK FORWARD TO THEM EVERY WEEK!

Evan Fulton

Jun 25, 2020

Couldn’t agree with you more Titus. Well done, brilliantly written. It’s very conflicting. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the game more than a couple of my kids. (Not the higher achieving ones). But the stench of nepotism and insular and incestuous industry it has become, combined with the mindless and irrelevant grandstanding by 98% of the media and attached self serving circus leaves me bitter and sounding like the kid not invited to the birthday party. Having said all that, I’ll watch every game I can this week and pay my 25 hard earned over for Kayo.

Daniel Berejiklian

Jun 26, 2020

Spot on Titus, the Victoria centric media with their myopic view of the world drives me crazy too. You would think that there were no clubs outside Vic. We can only hope that one day the Victorian AFL media will grow up and start offering a more considered worldly view. Like the media in WA and SA does now.

Roger Buckett

Jun 26, 2020

I have to disagree with your 3am nightclub theory, I do some of my best work then! Sure it’s just like mopping up all the left overs but there’s nothing surer than the desperation of a single parent on their weekend off from the kids!!

Mark 1

Jun 26, 2020

I'm afraid you are completely and utterly wrong.........about Carlton winning

David Miscavige

Jun 26, 2020

Bit harsh on Scientology today Titus.

Pete Docker

Jun 26, 2020

My new drinking game for 3 people. Each assumes an identity, randomly chosen from Kane Cornes, Caro Wilson and Matthew Lloyd. Head to the AFL section of the Ch9 website and the aim is to pick a baseless, speculatory piece of gossip masquerading as a news article concealed beneath a clickbait title. If the 'article' you pick is 'written' or 'based on comments made' by your character the others have to do a shot of tequila. If it's not you have to do the shot. Last one standing wins. Great thing is there are so many 'articles' to choose from as these three provide a never ending supply.

Uncle Daddy

Jun 26, 2020

The AFL'S primary audience is men who have played sport in 1. Their youth and 2. Their dreams. The AFL's secondary audience is the wives and kids of those men.

The AFL's audience is not the Arts faculty of your local university. Normal people will tolerate various intrusions of 'woke' bullshit, but only to a point.

Sam Newman speaks for us normies, and you can spit at him, and at us, all you like but he's not gonna shut up till he dies. More power to him.

the g train

Jun 26, 2020

Titus, when you’re in a bad mood, your very good. When you’re in a really bad mood, you’re brilliant. I’m keeping this piece of yours so that whenever I think the AFL industry is doing a rather jolly good job, I’ll have this to remind me how deluded I am. My main issues with AFL media is their often brutal criticism of players in a time where mental health issues effecting AFL footballers are becoming increasingly common and openly admitted. In any case, whenever you stray off topic, you are nearly always correct. Whenever you stay on topic, you are nearly always wrong. It’s very late Friday night and you’re 0/2. Maintain the rage, Titus. And remain grumpy.

AJM

Jun 30, 2020

Excellent Titus. I enjoy your forecasts always but, regretfully I have to say in all seriousness, this is an accurate assessment of how things came to be and of what needs to be done.

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