Sep 24, 2021

AFL

A highly unhelpful guide to the Grand Final 2021

66 Comments

The only guide to the round that admits it’s completely unhelpful. What it lacks in insight, it makes up for with wild theories and detours onto unrelated topics.

It’s your unhelpful guide to the Grand Final.

Melbourne v Western Bulldogs Optus Stadium 7:15pm AEST

It may be a public holiday in Melbourne, but that doesn’t stop me from writing this preview, mainly because I completely forgot it was a public holiday, and really, who cares when you’re locked in your house anyway?

It’s been the strangest Grand Final week ever. Partly because it lasted a fortnight, then we had an earthquake and the worst Grand Final parades in the CBD ever.

I’m moving to Los Angeles to get away from the constant earthquakes and riots.

There’s a Grand Final in the middle of all this, and for the first time since 2000, my team is in it, although you could argue they weren’t in 2000 or 1988 either, meaning this is the first time in my life my team has properly been in a Grand Final.

To be frank, I am a nervous wreck. When the earthquake hit, all I could think while it was happening was, ‘I’m going to die without seeing a Melbourne Premiership.’

I’m also terrified because all the media are acting like Melbourne are a sure thing.

The Bulldogs have been an afterthought despite the fact THE LAST TIME THESE TWO PLAYED THE BULLDOGS WON.

Am I taking crazy pills? How has everyone forgotten this?  I know Bulldogs fans haven’t.

Melbourne can win, but so can the Bulldogs. There have been coin tosses that are less fifty-fifty.

All I know is the two best teams made the Grand Final, the Prelims brutally showed this, and it’s going to be more stressful than a date with the person of your dreams on the day you have an acne breakout.

Entertainment

The AFL Grand Final entertainment is only good when it’s bad.

With international borders closed, and Western Australia’s border shut tighter than your mate’s wallet, no international acts can come, which means we won’t get someone who peaked in the early seventies.

Instead, we get mainly Western Australian artists, with a few others thrown in.

They include Eskimo Joe, John Butler, Abbe May, Stella Donnelly, Gina Williams and Guy Ghouse, Donna Simpson and Vikki Thorn from The Waifs, Colin Hay, Baker Boy, Birds of Tokyo and the West Australian Symphony Orchestra.

It’s a list that just proves how old you are when you don’t have a clue who most of them are.

Once again, the AFL are beaming in Mike Brady from Melbourne, in a proof of life video to remind us that Melbourne does still exist.

Conducting The Welcome to Country will be Noongar man Richard Wally OAM, while the Australian national anthem will be sung by Amy Manford.

Disappointingly, a tiny strip of grass will not be shipped from the MCG and sown into Optus Stadiums surface, mainly due to it being one of the stupidest ideas in the history of humanity.

TV Coverage

The game is on Channel Seven which means if you like hearing a woman being talked over while saying insightful things by a bunch of men saying nothing of interest, you’re going to love the coverage.

The Teams

Melbourne

A 57-year premiership drought and a half-century of mental torture could be flipped on its head this weekend.

People keep saying to me, will you have any material if the Dees are Premiers? I think so, my cynical view of the world comes from the gaping hole in my soul, caused by my personality, not my football team.

Still, it would be an event I never believed would happen, like a woman falling in love with me.

Melbourne have had their best season in my lifetime, they’ve got great players, an actual way of playing and in a first for me, know what they’re doing.

Star Players

Clayton Oliver- Clayton Oliver will be the guy in the middle of every pack getting the ball out.

His use of handball is what I imagine watching Leonardo Da Vinci paint would be like.

Max Gawn- Less a man and more a force of nature, Max Gawn is the player even people who don’t follow football will recognise.

Gawn’s greatest skill is his ability to read the play. He’s always positioned where the ball is going, it’s why so many hangers get taken on him.

Christian Petracca- Petracca is the player who can turn an entire game in a few minutes. He can kick goals, use his speed to get out of traffic and his brute strength sees him shrug off tackles like a Prime Minister shrugging off scandals.

Steven May and Jake Lever- They’re separate people but on the field, they work as one. The best defensive duo in the AFL.

The Western Australian border police study them on tape to work out how to stop anyone from getting through.

Coach Simon Goodwin- Goodwin looked gone a year ago, only to turn everything around in a dramatic fashion this year.

He’s had Adem Yze and Mark Williams come in as assistants this year which has strengthened some of his natural weaknesses, and there’s no doubt his even temperedness has worked incredibly well with a young group.

Injury concerns

Key defender Steven May was subbed out in the Preliminary Final with a hamstring twinge but will play and Charlie Spargo had an ankle injury scare this week but seems good to go. 

Western Bulldogs

Overview

Like Melbourne in many ways, the Bulldogs faithful has been through the wringer over the years, only to taste the ultimate success in 2016.

It means the Bulldogs supporters behave towards Melbourne supporters like a friend who kissed someone once, so now acts like they’re a modern-day lothario.

The Doggies have been great all year except for the last month of the season, only to bounce back to their top form.

They’ve played Melbourne twice this year, losing the first game and winning the second, so why they’re not equal favourites in most people’s minds is beyond me.

Not that Bulldogs supporters mind. Tell them they’re the underdogs, that will work very nicely for a Luke Beveridge coached side.

Star Players

Marcus Bontempelli- Arguably the best player in the competition, Bontempelli terrifies Melbourne supporters more than an ATO audit.

He’s absolutely taken the Dees apart over the years, and like serving those little square mint chocolates in the individual packets after dinner, he just screams class.

Jack Macrae- Less a man and more a ball getting machine, Macrae is averaging 37 disposals a game in the finals which is just making a joke of the competition.

Macrae doesn’t do much media and lets his football do the talking, and it says, ‘I am a ridiculously good footballer.’

Lachie Hunter- The Bulldogs wingman can get in trouble in traffic, but he links the Bulldogs together.

Collingwood’s Adam Treloar- Collingwood decided last season to get rid of their really good players and in Treloar’s case, pay for him to play elsewhere.

That elsewhere has been the Bulldogs, and despite injury troubles, he could be a significant part of a premiership. Funding an enemy is a weird thing to do; who do Collingwood think they are, the CIA?

Tom Liberatore- The human canvas is where it all starts for the Bulldogs, he exists in the chaos of the pack, getting the ball out while ten players are hanging off him.

He’s a man so tough, I don’t think I can bring myself to make fun of his moustache.

Coach Luke Beveridge- Beveridge has already taken the Bulldogs to the top in 2016 and is a man so intense that if he looks at a rock for a few minutes it becomes a diamond.

He once played for Melbourne, so my hope is this is a long play and he’s a sleeper agent, but I’m not going to bet one of my many houses on this.

Injuries

Their biggest loss this season has been key forward Josh Bruce and he’s out for the year so won’t play in the Grand Final.

The Dogs have recalled Alex Keath from a hamstring injury and Cody Weightman from a concussion and both should be good to go. 

Weather

It will be 27 degrees on Saturday in Perth, and sunset will be during the second quarter of the game.

There’s only a 10 per cent chance of rain, so it should be perfect conditions.

Bloody Perth, freedom and nice weather. No wonder they never want to open up. If Australia was a nightclub, they’re the VIP area it’s impossible to get into.

Prediction

This is truly a coin toss in my opinion, and no one has any idea who is going to win.

They’ve played two this year, splitting them and both made their Preliminary Final opponents look like inept chancers who had not played football at the highest level before.

Both have bona fide stars, are fit, well-drilled, and don’t give up on games.

I’m tipping Melbourne for one reason and one reason only, we’ve had a mouse plague, a pandemic, and an earthquake. Surely a Melbourne premiership is the fourth horseman of the apocalypse?

Either way, this is going to be the most stressful day of my life, and that’s coming during the most stressful two years of my life.

Enjoy everyone, the Grand Final is the greatest day on Earth for a reason.

You can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. Find out more here: https://titusoreily.com/support-titus

COMMENTS

Gyfox

Sep 24, 2021

You have to survive this, Titus.......we want you back in 2022!

tim

Sep 24, 2021

agree ❤️💙😳

Sigfried

Sep 24, 2021

I'd like Melbourne to win, but then again happy comedy isn't good comedy is it?

LC

Sep 24, 2021

Good luck, Titus!

A heap of us with be thinking of you through what will hopefully be a great game tomorrow night

Paul Dalby

Sep 24, 2021

Love your work Titus, as an Eagles supporter I will be barracking for the dee's on your behalf and I'm sure many of your readers over here will do the same. Good Luck.

Lion in the ACT

Sep 24, 2021

Great guide as always Titus. We'll be cheering your Demons on from the nation's capital. The Dees have been sensational all year and deserve the win.

Plus we all want you to be able to write for us next season. Our thoughts are with you mate! ❤💙

Linlin

Sep 24, 2021

Wishing you all the best Titus. I just bought a nice slice of d'Affinois and have a cheeky Grenache decanting ready to cheer on the Dees. Just can't bring myself to go for the Dogs, I'm a Swans supporter and the loss in 2016 is still too raw. Been an amazing year for footy despite all the universe has thrown at us.

Ryan

Sep 24, 2021

All the best Titus! 🔴🔵

BlueMoose

Sep 24, 2021

That's the first time I've ever heard of WA being described as a VIP area! No wonder it's over-priced and makes you wonder what some people do for a living to have made it in.

Youngy

Sep 24, 2021

Perhaps your best work ever! I'm barracking for the Dees as I'm worried about your health with any other result...and I don't want anything to happen to these great Friday reads. Good luck legend!

The g train

Sep 24, 2021

Was worried that Titus would finally crack under the stress of Melbourne being favourites for the GF and produce an unbecoming helpful guide. Tremendously relieved when the first half of his guide was utterly and diabolically unhelpful nonsense. Then came all the very helpful commentary below The Teams heading. O, Titus! Sincerely trust this rational outburst is a one off.

But in return for all his previous ridiculously unhelpful guides, hope Titus will be a happy chap Saturday evening (because of the footy, that is).

Madame Stellastrica

Sep 24, 2021

Mars forms a trine to Saturn on 25 September. This points to a Western Bulldogs win.

Grant

Sep 24, 2021

Titus I sincerely hope you and the Dees have a great GF experience but I’m a rusted on Dog. “We run into the fire. Into the fury. Into the coals and where the heat is. We’ve done it three times. We need one more.” Luke Beverage

GM

Sep 24, 2021

Like a GF winner you’ve left your best for last.
Love your work.

MICHAEL

Sep 24, 2021

This is your best write up EVER! Loved it and laughed so much was crying!

Good luck to your Dees TITUS!

Morsey's tip: Dees by 5

NSM: Tracca or Gawn

Pablo668

Sep 24, 2021

Best of luck tomorrow Titus. Your take on the game is spot on.
I will be barracking for the Dees and thinking of you during the game.

All the best.

p.s: either way the game goes, you still get to drink yourself to oblivion! It's a win-win!

Megan Webber

Sep 24, 2021

Good luck Titus, Go the Dees. They deserve it.

Papaschmidt

Sep 24, 2021

I do worry what will happen to your posts next year if Melbourne win.
The angst and self loathing which we all love will be gone and you Titus may become a Hawthorn-light football supporter.
Like Russian literature surely it is the pain that sustains you?

Running Dog Comes Out Snarling

Sep 24, 2021

Two narratives about this grand final have been floating around Perth like a fetid miasma. One is ‘Mad Max VI: Road To Glory’. Talk about jumping the shark! Wild factual inaccuracy has run this trope into a ditch. The Dogs are the true road warriors. The other is how Gawnqvist The Bald and his Viking band intend to rain hell on the English. But it seems his scouts have failed to notice that the foe are not meek monks, but savage curs straining the chain to breaking point. When asked why he wasn’t active in the civil rights movement, Sonny Liston stated “I ain’t got no dog-proof ass”. If the Demons want to be heavyweight champs they better take the necessary precautions.

You're too democratic, Titus. Your site attracts all sorts, including us rabid Dogs. Please ignore the bombastic nonsense above. Most of us are not Dogs in the manger, and as much as a win would mean to us, we would not seriously begrudge a worthy adversary breaking a drought. It's a grand old flag, and should we lose we'll salute it.

Bill

Sep 24, 2021

I am a long term Dons fan but my 2 sons and 2 grandsons have locked in on the Dees and I am with them on Saturday- Go Dees and Titus!!

BLOKE FROM THE OUTER

Sep 24, 2021

Good luck to your team Titus. Given that the teams look evenly balanced, the game will likely be won by the bottom 6 to 8 players, not the stars. I think the Dees have the dogs covered.

Danielle Cooper

Sep 24, 2021

Another Eagles fan going for Dees here. C'arn the mighty Demons!

Lauren

Sep 24, 2021

I love that I read all of this in your voice, Titus. Furthermore, I’m scared that your voice lives in my brain.

Go Dees! Drought breaking premierships gives us Blues supporters a glimmer of hope. Only another 20-odd years for me to wait!

Stoney

Sep 24, 2021

Big fella firstly let me say I was a bit hurt that during your television appearances I never once heard you mention the faithful from this obviously highly intelligent crew but being a suffering DEES fan I am used to people ignoring us as if we didn't count. I loved your synopsis of the players and clubs and I also think this game will be closer than what people think. Anyway back to the game I will be as nervous as a EUNICH at an orgy. This has been a magnificent ride we have been on this year with just one more game to go. I have never been one for omens and I know it is 57 years since we won a flag but next to that is norm Smith was 57 when he passed.VERY SCARY. GO DEES GIVE EM HELL.

Joh

Sep 24, 2021

An excellent gf edition ,you were also great on Front Bar. Congrats Go Dees I have seen premerships in 57, 59,60 and 64 and none of my children or grand children have seen any. This is hopefully this will be our year🤞

Phonse Kyne

Sep 24, 2021

Thinking of you Titus. You can get through this! Have a sherry before the game and another one at half time and go easy on the quince paste and fois gras.

Rosemary Landy

Sep 24, 2021

Wonderful commentary as always Titus, as a fellow Melbourne tragic everything you've said resonates. I'm almost sick with apprehension. Go Dees!!!

Kafka’s Ghost

Sep 24, 2021

As a lifelong Bloods supporter I can only say one thing Titus: Go Dees!!

Really Truly

Sep 24, 2021

Are you guys still locked up?

I've been residing Thailand 9 years, Delta running rampant but we all just get on with our lives.
Amazing giving up the GF to the west.

China will host the 2022 GF, put money on it now.

Perquisite

Sep 24, 2021

I’m another Eagles member who will be at the game supporting the Dees and wearing a new MFC cap. Weird isn’t it - come 2022 I’ll dislike them intensely (but not as much as Collingwood).

Michelle

Sep 24, 2021

Your best ‘column’ ever Titus… thank you for realising the BS that occurred when the GF left the ‘G last year and the fact that it won’t be repeated.
I hope the Perth GF provides the outcome you desire.
My recommendation to every person is Australia is to mutes the Channel 7 dumbarses and tune into Triple M if you can. The best commentator to ever call a game is calling his last. There will be no bias, no BS and no talking about his glorified past, just observations of what’s happening on the field. They just don’t make ‘Em like ‘Den’ anymore.
As a West Coast supporter I couldn’t give 2 hoots who wins but I hope it’s a good, close game and that everyone over East stays sober enough to watch it since ‘Gil the goose’ wanted a twilight game and stuff the rest of you!

Circus

Sep 24, 2021

Oh Titus, I understand your years of pain, your stratospheric levels of anxiety, your utter confusion about your team actually playing in a GF that you really might win, the fear of just what will happen to you if the Demons salute (i.e. complete mental collapse including total amnesia, acute alcohol poisoning, become a new-age evangelist or join the National Party) and whether you will sleep before Wednesday 6 October. I'm a Saints member.

I hope your dreams come true. No, not those dreams Titus, your other ones, the footy ones!!

Heffy

Sep 24, 2021

Think positive mate, you've got this. Enjoy the day and go the Dees!!! Once you get this first GF win out of the way it will become a lot easier.

Hawks supporter.

Doggy Dancer

Sep 24, 2021

I can't think of anything funny to say. Go Dogs.

barmetlap

Sep 24, 2021

Your bias is palpable. May you be rewarded.

Nick S.

Sep 24, 2021

I am somewhat uncomfortable at the prospect of winning, what will I do, how will I behave, how will this affect my life in the future?
Will this renew and revive my soul, can I poke fun at Saint supporters without fear of reprisal?
Like a dog catching a car, what happens, do I get run over?
The prospect of losing doesn’t scare me anymore as it allows us to retreat to familiar territory, wallowing in self pity, reflecting on another lost opportunity and venting on social media…these thing we know.
We are favourites, we know what happens when we are favourites…
Joking of course.
Kick their arse back to the Western Oval.
Go Dees!

The J

Sep 24, 2021

Hate to rain on the non existent grand final parade, but the AFL ingeniously introduced the bye in 2016, no side has finished on top and secured the flag.

Leonie Hunter Hunter

Sep 24, 2021

Good luck l hope its a fantastic game

From a loser St Kilda supporter

DemonMark224

Sep 24, 2021

Luke Beveridge "is a man so intense that if he looks at a rock for a few minutes it becomes a diamond". A clever and very funny line, but tomorrow we can only hope that LB looks at his players so intensely that they become nervous, jittery, fumbly and incompetent, or like diamonds, all show and no substance. #godees #giveemhell #myheartbeatstrue

Blackswamp Barracker

Sep 24, 2021

With you, Titus.

Konrad Dowse

Sep 24, 2021

Surely Melbourne couldn't lose it from here, could they?😉 😉
I mean...
If they choked it from here, that would be so embarrassing, I hope they win because I'm definitely not someone that hates the Dees😉 😉
But they won't because they're too good. It's guaranteed... right?
If Melbourne choked that would be so sad, I definitely wouldn't find it hilarious seeing all those Toorak silvertails distressed.

Colly

Sep 24, 2021

Titus surely you are too old to have acne!!
Go go go my beloved Dees. ❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️

stevo

Sep 24, 2021

Good luck Titus. I hope the Dees win with a free kick advantage of 20 to 8. Now where have I seen that before?

Lindy

Sep 24, 2021

The best grand final preview! I don’t need to read anything else. Thinking of you Titus - I think it’s your time. Regardless of the result, thank you for sharing your wonderful wit and talent with us devotees 😊

Mick

Sep 24, 2021

The media focus on Melbourne and their imminent breaking of their drought is perturbing. They’re fattening us up like a Christmas turkey so they can gorge on the tragedy when we lose.

Sally

Sep 24, 2021

Everyone predicting our Dees are going to win has me nervous beyond belief.
Beating us last time we met a distant memory for too many - do they really think the Dogs are going to lie down like my lazy labrador and sleep? Are they kidding?
This is going to be the most stressful day for us Dees supporters….I’m on the g & t already.
God, I hope we can do it ❤️💙

Stu

Sep 24, 2021

Best of luck Titus. Thanks for the years work.

AB

Sep 24, 2021

My advice when watching the game is to tune into triple M Perth and listen to Dennis Commeti commentating his last match ever.

Selwood's Other Duck

Sep 24, 2021

I'll be cheering for the Dees, mainly because the chance of running into an actual Dees' fan is almost nil. I put money on the Dogs a few weeks ago so that should help Melbourne immensely.

Although I wouldn't mind seeing Treloar get a premiership - it would be the second funniest thing in footy this year. The funniest would be a premiership AND a Norm Smith Medal !!

Son of plugger

Sep 24, 2021

COLLY:
“Titus surely you are too old to have acne!!”.

Not really. I had no acne until my late 40’s. I tried drying out the blemished areas but that only made it worse. My daughter explained to me that by drying out and removing oils from the skin, only made the body produce even more oil and make the acne worse. She recommended to put certain oils in my acne prone areas and swear that after a few weeks, the acne completely cleared up. I now oil my face regularly, and apart from giving me a more youthful complexion, I am still acne free.

PAPASCHMIDT:
“I do worry what will happen to your posts next year if Melbourne win.
The angst and self loathing which we all love will be gone and you Titus may become a Hawthorn-light football supporter.”

My exact concern also. So we do wish Melbourne lose by a point via a controversial free kick in the dying seconds…and the WB player kicks an unlikely goal 65 m out after the final siren? Imagine Titus’s post next season.

Jonno

Sep 24, 2021

Great write up Titus. I can tell you’re stressed because there was more serious analysis and only a smattering of hilarity (but enough for me anyway - the Lachie Hunter in traffic was nicely done). I’m hoping the Dees get up mainly for your sake. You’ve brought so much joy to footy fans for so long and especially through these dark covid times so I hope you get the satisfaction of a flag.

Saint Peter

Sep 24, 2021

All the best to both teams on Saturday night, especially to Melbourne. If they win the mighty Saints will then have the record for the longest period of time since they won a flag. You can't have any better motivation than that. As Melbourne will a test to about 10.00pm on Saturday. (AEST)

Interestingly the Saints had a chance to acquire Luke Beveridge as Head of Football but he chose to be a coach instead at the Bulldogs. Still haven't received a thank you note from the Bulldogs yet. Also we gave them Ahmet Bains who is doing a very good at the Bulldogs as their CEO. Yet again we still haven't received a thank you. Didn't think our club was there to support all others in the league but there you go. Oh that's right we also gave Adelaide their first premiership. We are clearly the greatest humanitarian club in the AFL. All we need now is some cashed up buisiness man to take over the club and really stuff us up.

All the best Titus & thanks for the season.

Dixie

Sep 24, 2021

I’m a late starter to your commentary and have to say, I’ve loved every episode since I joined around round 18. Cheers and go Giants in 2022. Dees for me tomorrow.

Buddy Noble

Sep 24, 2021

Hopefully Melbourne will win, however the selection of Matt Stevic who was instrumental in the Bulldogs 2016 steal will be difficult for the Dees to overcome.

Fairwesteagle

Sep 24, 2021

Titus
Alastair Lord was was my first football nickname 1964 the great Dees centreman and Haydn Bunton Jnr my childhood hero but the Dees need to win this
Go the Dees
Thanks for all your humour this year Great work

SouthWestCoaster

Sep 24, 2021

Going to decant some full blooded beefy Margarita Riverina for you, Titus!
As any good satirist would say….. expect the obvious…..
except when..

it’s a draw!

Then a win to the dees in the replay the following week!

Let’s admit that yes, the west now has possession of the cup and all the higher echelons of the AFL so we as good as run the AFL this week! Though one is nice and the other, well…. just tedious.
So a replay so that we could get a nice 120, 000 people to (a) grand final would be marvellous in any decade of covidism! Nothing quite like having the Stadium of the Decade upstaging the G for bums on rotisserie and LED lighting extravaganzas!
Maybe give some of those shit-for-brains nazis pretending to be builders and electricians a nice little LED light each to wave around on their way to the lockup in the paddy wagons might even up the lighting galas?

Either way, hope you have a win and a fantastic day!

And thanks for the year!

Brindles

Sep 24, 2021

Thanks Titus for another good year of cutting, humorous and insightful commentary both before and after rounds.
I've loved your reviews about Channel 7 commentary (Fox is not much better) who could do a lot worse than to use you delivering your humour along with Daisy's insight and then use two other people willing to describe the action as it happens, who spend no time speculating on coaches, teams or careers or forecasting a players statistics or fantasy points or salivating over their "heat map"! (sorry, pet gripe)
Anyway, I do miss the breadth of your clever insight with 16 less teams to analyse this week and strangely I have not read one complaint or comment from a Crows supporter. And the Power supporters are no doubt still receiving treatment after assuming they would advance to the GF.
As an Eagles supporter, I am still processing the debacle and disappointing post-bye efforts served up by our team this year. A GF in Perth and looking back, we weren't ever in the hunt!
Good luck to you and all the true fans of both teams. I'm hoping for a 2018-like finish and hope you're all nervous right down to the last play. That will make it all interesting for the rest of us!
I am not concerned about your insight being lessened by a Demons GF win. But that may change if they were to win again in coming years....

Calbolt 27

Sep 24, 2021

Thanks Titus, for giving us all something to look forward to each bleak and grimmer week, Understand all the different emotional places and planes you may be traversing right about now, rode that wave in 2016. A good sign I say, the footy gods punish hubris quick sticks.

Like 2016 for the doggies, whatever journos write about match ups and tactics, the Dee's will be unstoppable. possessed if you will. Call it momentum or velocity, maybe E=MFC2 , both sides have what it takes Melbourne however will simply want it more. Enjoy every moment yelling yourself hoarse.

Tarax Club

Sep 24, 2021

DEMONS’ WILL TO PREVAIL!

Michelle Birch

Sep 24, 2021

Melbourne have to win, because my Uncle has been barracking for them most of his life (he’s 70 now) and with Simon as Coach, it would just add the humour for our family, his ex wife is married to SG’s Dad 😆

Scott

Sep 24, 2021

Onya, Titus. Love your work. As a Cats tragic. I can entirely agree that the two best teams of 2021 made the big dance. And seeing your undying passion for the Dees fulfilled in this game would be a true source of joy for me, even for one whose heart has never come remotely close to beating true.

Your subsequent article on how the club finally overcame one of the most magnificent sporting curses ever recorded in the history of mankind would be entirely compulsory reading.

All the best, legend…

thomas vaughan

Sep 25, 2021

Hey Titus, i didn’t get this through the Australian but in response to your v funny piece, my comment said “As an escapee from Danistan based in Adelaide, i am going to be at Optus to give em hell. Hang tight Titus because this is the start of the Deenasty. See you at the G next year when hopefully the Danasty is over. Go Dees”

Luca

Sep 25, 2021

Let’s Go Dees
BTW i am swans fan and think that the swans will play the dees at the MCG Next year
♥️❤️🤍

Russell

Sep 25, 2021

Hey Titus,

You'd be too modest to brag how insightful your description of Christian Petracca was:

"Petracca is the player who can turn an entire game in a few minutes. He can kick goals, use his speed to get out of traffic and his brute strength sees him shrug off tackles like a Prime Minister shrugging off scandals"

Only part you got wrong was that it lasted more than a few minutes (18 minutes they're saying)

Hope you're enjoying the win!!

Bill

Sep 25, 2021

Fantastic Dees win!! also Titus your article in the Weekend Oz was a cracker.

You brighten up a lockdown Aus.

Steve

Sep 27, 2021

Hi Titus, one of the seven GWS supporters here, conducting a welfare check. I'm stoked by the result on Saturday night, so if we don't hear from you soon I'll start a ring around of the hospitals and pubs. Hope you're enjoying your hangover, take care and see you next year.