Aug 12, 2020
AFL Mad Scramble: Day Fifteen
A column every day for twenty days, as we get more football than we even asked for.
Occasionally, this column will even mention football but rarely sensibly.
Adelaide (38) v Collingwood (62)
And on the fourteenth day, a man arrived with flowing locks that shone with an aura of gold and were rumoured to cure anyone who touched them.
And the Collingwood faithful rejoiced, because here was a man who could plug a whole in their backline and even went forth and kicked a goal, and they said it was good.
Then the Collingwood faithful went to cut their hair in a similar fashion and realised they didn’t need to. And they praised him.
I fully believed that without Lynden Dunn’s mullet, the Pies would have lost this game.
This isn’t a crazy theory, Tex Walker has struggled since he cut his mullet, just witness last night’s effort. Walker turned the ball over in key moments, effectively giving the Pies and extra player at times.
I can’t see the Crows winning this year. Even when they give superior effort, they can’t score, and then their interest wanes, like someone watching the trying to stick with the fifth season of Lost.
Gold Coast v Essendon (Metricon) 7:10pm Foxtel
Before we get touch on this game, let talk about the fact the AFL have to hold a meeting with all 18 teams to get them to remind their players not to inappropriately touch their teammates.
It should be a quick meeting.
“Hey everyone, could you get players to stop grabbing each other’s genitals and attempting to Hopoate each other?”
“That seems a reasonable request.”
“Yeah, I can’t believe we’re having to say this.”
In fairness to the AFL, the league is sometimes ungovernable. Things happen that anyone just wouldn’t expect.
You can’t blame them for not having a ‘no Hopoating each other’ policy. This is after all the league that had players set dwarf on fire; you can’t predict these things.
Essendon’s injury issues are not fixed and now there are stories of deep unhappiness over the coaching handover.
Coaching handovers almost never go well. They are like announcing you’re going to dump your partner for someone else and then have a period of time when you all live together.
Gold Coast showed some fight last week, but the Saints have since shown they may not be as good as we thought.
It’s doubtful the Suns will play finals, but this doesn’t have to be a wasted year.
They can keep developing their players, and the commentators can learn some of the Suns players names beyond Izak Rankine and Matt Rowell.
Suns to win.
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