Aug 13, 2020


AFL Mad Scramble: Day Sixteen


A column every day for twenty days, as we get more football than we even asked for.

Occasionally, this column will even mention football but rarely sensibly.

Last Night

Gold Coast (73) v Essendon (73)

Day sixteen! Only four days to go in this festival of footy.

Who would have thought when we began that I’d have something to say every day for sixteen days straight!

What’s that? I haven’t really? It’s been like the ravings of a madman, but at least the Unabomber had less grammatical mistakes?

These are fair points.

At least we got a close game last night, and after a rough start, the festival has given us a few good games recently.

The Suns are turning not quite winning into a bit of an artform in recent weeks.

They were 18 points up, three minutes into the last quarter, but from there managed to lose the lead, tie the game up, then blow several chances to take the lead again.

As always, it was David Zaharakis who stood up for the Bombers, Essendon would be lost without him, and he booted two goals to drag them back into the contest.

This being Essendon, he then immediately went off injured. Perhaps when Jennifer Coate has finished looking into hotel quarantine, she could look into why Essendon injures so many of their players.

Obviously, the highlight of the game was Matt Rowell taking notes. His note taking was elite. I’ve never seen anyone at that age take notes like that.


Sydney v Greater Western Sydney (OS) 8:10pm Foxtel

Where was the 2020 battle of Sydney? Perth of course.

As with all things this year, nothing makes sense. It all makes you somewhat numb to everything going around you.

An entire continent could dip below the surface of the ocean, and people would say to you ‘that’s 2020’ and you’d just agree.

This is the year after all that gave us bushfires, COVID and a new Nickelback album. These are surely end of days.

The Swan’s year hasn’t been very Swans like. There’s been an unfortunate combination of youth and injuries.

Sydney’s only win in the last five games in Hawthorn, which is more like half-a-win in five games, so on form things aren’t looking good for this.

The Giants are rotating a lot of players at the moments, this being the tail end of a lot of games, that makes sense.

There’s been talk of doing this festival of footy every year. I hope they don’t. I would like the world to go back to some semblance of normality after all this.

Plus, people like to go to games, and as exciting as going to a 6:10pm game on a Wednesday sounds, a lot of people aren’t going to be able to do that.

It’s something the AFL seems to never learn, sometimes you need something to not be around all the time so you can miss it.

Giants to win.

At the moment I’m barely able to work, so you can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. It’s greatly appreciated. Find out more here:



Aug 13, 2020

Why are games producing low scores?

Luke Buck Armstrong

Aug 13, 2020

I think it must be teams ignoring the corridor and favouring the wings. Full Forea


Aug 13, 2020

“Fewer grammatical mistakes”, not “less grammatical mistakes” - or was the irony intentional Titus?

It may be end of days, but this is important

Mick Vagg

Aug 13, 2020

See, we blamed Hird and the doping saga for all the soft tissue injuries at the Bombers but it's clearly a cultural issue...


Aug 13, 2020

If there's anything being released by Savage Garden, I'm out. That's the toll of the 2020 bells for me. No more.


Aug 13, 2020

Stickler, your second sentence needs a full stop.


Aug 13, 2020

Careful Titus, the last time someone looked into why the Bombers were having so many injuries, it didn't end too well...

The g train

Aug 13, 2020

The Sun’s assistant coach, Matt Rowell, should remember the immortal words of Bear Bryant: When I was a young coach I used to say, "Treat everybody alike." That's bull. Treat everybody fairly.

Mike Stacey

Aug 13, 2020

The "battle of Sydney" should properly be called the "Battle of the Bridge", a marketing term the Giants came up with in the early years but at which the Swans took umbrage to. These presumptive upstarts thought the Swans, it can never be rated as seriously as a battle and beside any mention of the bridge should mean just the Swans. It is a more attractive name from a marketing viewpoint I think. There are all manner of derby's out there, only one Battle of the Bridge.

Could I suggest you adopt the term like Gerard Whately does and continue the annoyance for the yuppie Swans.

Andrew Pelechaty

Aug 13, 2020

It was a draw?! The AFL needs to introduce Golden Point extra time like in the NRL and Super Rugby. Everyone know that draws make TV Executives cry!

Bruce Munday

Aug 13, 2020

Solve the draw by awarding win to whichever team hit the goal post most; if that doesn't work do same for behind post; if that doesn't work ...


Aug 13, 2020

Rick, I would suggest an exclamation mark for Stickler.

The Dude Abides

Aug 13, 2020

Given the constraints imposed by Covid-19 this years Battle of the Bridge will be played out at the South Perth Bridge Club, Como, Perth which , according to it's web site has 'a fantastic selection of sandwiches and friendly service'.

Unfortunately given the minimum age requirement to enter the club the majority of the Swans players will not be eligible and in any event, given their scoring prowess, it is most unlikely they would ever accumulate enough points to win even one rubber.

I hearby declare the Even Greater Sydney Giants the winner of the 2020 Battle of the Bridge (Abridged).

phillip a bing

Aug 13, 2020

The Dude Abides.

It should be "its web site" ... no apostrophe. I dislike apo's'trophe abu's'e.


Aug 13, 2020

Battle of the Bridges.
For the benefit of the geographically challenged, or unaware, there is NO bridge between Moore Park and Giants Stadium.

Technically, you can travel between both venues along Parramatta Rd, avoiding any bridge..

Conversely, you can take two or three route options which may allow you to cross the: ANZAC, Gladesville & Ryde bridges to access Olympic Park.
The more adventurous may journey from Moore Park via the Sydney Harbour, Taren Point, Gladesville or Ryde Bridges.

Sheeds had a great idea, yesterday. Make the Sydney Derby an evening match on Anzac Day. However, I differ with Sheeds on the choice of venue. I would play this match at the Olympic Stadium (80 000 capacity) to maximise the attendance of both groups of supporters. The 2nd Derby matrch could be shared between the SCG & Giants Stadium on alternate years.

andrew hodder

Aug 13, 2020

New Rule: No more social commentary, strictly football analysis only. So how about Stewy Dew starts wearing kaftans. He could become the Demis Roussos of the Gold Coast. Geez he's getting big..


Aug 13, 2020

What's with everyone in correction mode today? School teachers in lockdown missing marking work or just a bunch of crankypants in isolation??

Homer S.

Aug 13, 2020

Andrew H,
Stewy Dew would look better in a Moo Moo.

Saint Peter

Aug 13, 2020

Your right there is no bridge out to Giants Stadium however there is a tunnel. Maybe they could rename it something punchy like Tussle of Tunnel.
I should trade mark that.

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