Jul 31, 2020
AFL Mad Scramble: Day Three
A column every day for twenty days, as we get more football than we even asked for.
Occasionally, this column will even mention football but rarely sensibly.
Melbourne (32) v Port Adelaide (83)
A crowd of 323 people attended this game and I hope the Melbourne Football Club refunds all of them.
I guess one benefit of the lockdown is I didn’t waste any time going to watch this game and instead got to cry in private on the couch, punctuated by ads telling me to stay at home because of the lockdown.
I couldn’t be any more at home, why is the government still telling me off like some errant schoolboy? How about cracking down on all the people still breaking the rules?
Clear messaging is nice and all, but I’d prefer some competency on the ground, something the Victorian government and the Melbourne Football Club both need to realise.
Last night taught me that if we want to stop COVID-19 in its tracks, we should get Simon Goodwin to coach it.
Under Goodwin this club has gone backwards.
For example, you’d think not kicking to a 3 on 1 contest would be a simple thing to learn but it’s a mystery that eludes the Melbourne midfield.
It’s been two seasons and they still seem incapable of grasping some of the basic fundamentals of our game. This is extraordinary considering this is all they train for and get paid for.
When you’re paying for a membership that you can’t even use, you expect to get a little effort. Social media videos about how appreciated we members and fans are do not mean a single thing.
Goodwin talks of improving over the last few weeks but that’s been off an incredibly low base. How long are Melbourne going to be in an improving stage? Because it’s been for the last twenty years for a few false dawns.
There was no excuse for last night. Even coming off a four-day break doesn’t excuse missing a target with a handball from a meter away, repeatedly.
Sorry for the rant but a game like last night’s still hurts, even though I’m a veteran of such nonsense.
As for Port, they were great. The put on the pressure, used the ball well and feasted on the mistakes, of which there was a smorgasbord.
But for them, this wasn’t even as tough as a training drill, the most discipline they had to show was not openly laugh during the game.
Carlton v Hawthorn (OS) 5:40pm Foxtel
This festival of football is quickly becoming more like watching open training.
I can’t see this game rescuing the situation either, scheduled in the traditional 5:40pm timeslot.
Carlton fans will be looking at this and thinking, “We can’t lose to Hawthorn, can we? We can, can’t we?”
Blues fans are right to worry, their team has let them down so many times they almost understand how Demons fans feel.
But Hawthorn lost to Melbourne. They were thumped in fact, raising the question, how bad are the Hawks?
They must be even worse than we imagined.
Hawthorn have some cavalry arriving, in the form of Jarman Impey, Luke Breust, Tim O'Brien and ruckman Jon Ceglar, so there’s some positives there.
If Carlton’s rebuild really is on track, they should win this. They’ve shown glimmers of ability at times this season but they’re yet to make a Blues fan be able to watch a game without that feeling in your stomach that everything is going to go off the deep end at any moment.
In bad news for the Blues, I’m tipping them.
Essendon v Brisbane (Metricon) 8:10pm Seven
If you wrote down Essendon’s best players, you would pretty much have their injury list, with a few notable exceptions.
It’s not what you want when facing off against Brisbane who along with Port and West Coast seem the teams most likely to go all the way at the moment.
The Bombers injury crisis has not yet affected them too much, thanks to the fact they played the Crows last week, but this is another matter.
Going from playing Adelaide to playing Brisbane is like going from Bernard Tomic to Roger Federer. And apologies to Bernard Tomic for comparing him to the Crows.
The Lions have their own issues however, with a few players missing due to injuries and suspensions, but it’s nothing compared to the Bombers and they should get the win here.
I just wanted to finish off by thanking all those who have become supporters in recent weeks. It’s meant the world to me and has really helped me keeping doing what I do, so thank you.
At the moment I’m barely able to work, so you can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. It’s greatly appreciated. Find out more here: https://titusoreily.com/support-titus