A column every day, as we get more football than we even asked for.

Occasionally, this column will even mention football but rarely sensibly.

Last Night

Brisbane (88) v Gold Coast (43)

It’s perhaps a reflection on how boring my life has become, and it wasn’t that exciting before all this, that I watched this game in its entirety.

I’m not really sure why; it was a boring game.

Brisbane was superior in every facet of the game, and the Suns never had any chance.

The only thing on the line was the Lions getting closer to locking in a top two spot.

So while watching this, I decided to pull together my ‘single social bubble’ for the next phase of lockdown here in Melbourne.

It allows people who live alone, or are single parents, to choose one person from a different household to form a “single social bubble”, so they can actually see other humans, a privilege not a right apparently.

It’s like draft day. I pulled together my list of people I’d like to have in my bubble, but given I can only have one, I then ranked them like a team would for a draft.

I then proceeded to go through the list to try and land a top draft pick.

The first response was understandable:

‘Sorry, have already committed to another social bubble!’

No problem, go for my number two preference then:

‘I would rather never see another person again.’

Alright, Mum. On to the next, and the next, and the next.

‘Who dis?’

‘Getting Corona now doesn’t seem that bad.’

‘And I thought 2020 couldn’t get any worse.’

As the Suns got destroyed on the TV, I was getting destroyed off it. I guess I’m not a destination club.

That’s the problem with the ‘single social bubble’ it doesn’t take into account I’m single for a reason.

Tonight

St Kilda v West Coast (G) 7:10 pm Seven

West Coast in Queensland has the confidence of a younger me who on the day of the year ten social got a pimple on my nose so large scientists were dispatched to study it and required mountain gear to do so. 

It’s easy to say West Coast are no good away from home because they make it easy.

Granted, they’ve got a lot of injuries but losing to the Bulldogs doesn’t scream ‘Premiership team’.

St Kilda desperately needs to win this to lock in their position in the eight. They don’t want to join the chasing pack that is increasingly looking like Steven Bradbury’s 2002 Winter Olympics race.

It all comes down to a clash between the Eagles disappointing form in Queensland and St Kilda being St Kilda.

I’m tipping the Eagles, purely because St Kilda being St Kilda is a powerful force, up there with the strong nuclear force, the strongest force in nature.

My new book Cheat: The Not-so-subtle Art of Conning Your Way to Sporting Glory is now available for pre-order.  

At the moment I’m barely able to work, so you can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. It’s greatly appreciated. Find out more here: https://titusoreily.com/support-titus