Sep 01, 2020


AFL Mad Scramble Two: Day Six


A column every day, as we get more football than we even asked for.

Occasionally, this column will even mention football but rarely sensibly.


Hawthorn v Adelaide (AO) 5:40pm Foxtel

So today, around 400 AFL officials, club staff members, families and media will fly out of Melbourne to the Gold Coast. 

I look forward to hearing the complaints about how tough being in a resort in Queensland is that are sure to follow.

Those of us in Victoria can only imagine the horror.

While the Adelaide Crows preseason camp holds the title for the footy story that has gone on forever, the Cotchins are giving it a new crack, in regard to the infamous spa visit.

My day involves checking the daily coronavirus case numbers, then getting across the claims and counterclaims in that incident.

Basically, it’s so far gone:

Richmond and the AFL: Respect the Cotchins’ privacy.

Media: Well, it was a public Instagram post, it placed the season in danger and the AFL have fined them, so we’re going to mention it.

Richmond and AFL: You must respect the Cotchins’ privacy.

Public: We’re over this story now. Let’s move on.

AFL Media: Let’s quieten the situation by suspending a journalist for writing what had already been run in the media.

Public: We never thought we’d say this, but we’re on a footy journo’s side here. Also, this story was over, why are you bringing it up again?

Brooke Cotchin: I’m sorry for my actions and I never wanted the journalist to be sacked.

Public: Great apology. Let’s consider this matter now closed and never speak of it again.

Brooke Cotchin: I’m going to bring this up in the media to talk about how hard this has been on me.

Public: No need, you deserve privacy and we’re sorry some idiots sent you horrible messages..

Brooke’s dad:  Richmond and the AFL handled this very poorly.

Public: Guys, this story was ove..

Jane Gale: My husband did everything to help them. the Cotchins threatened to walk out of the hub.

Public: I sense you won’t listen but please stop.

I realise I haven’t really addressed this game. That was intentional.

Hawks to win.

West Coast v Essendon (G) 8:10pm Foxtel

Sydney Swans superstar Joe Daniher looks like he will be taking on the West Coast Eagles tonight.

Last week’s win certainly cheered up the Bombers faithful, but it can’t make up for what has been another disappointing season.

Daniher will find it a bit harder tonight, with West Coast actually having key backs.

Surely the Eagles can’t lose this one? I know Queensland is like kryptonite to them, but Essendon still has a heap of injuries, an odd coaching set up and a culture more focused on settling scores off the field than on them.

Josh Kennedy is an out, he passed a concussion test, but it makes sense to be extra careful. The news Danny Frawley was suffering from Stage II CTE, is a sad reminder of the dangers of concussion.

It’s why footy hasn’t gone ‘soft’ as some people claim. The risks are still very much there and taking away as much of the unnecessary hits, the behind the play punches is not a sign the game has lost its lustre.

If anything, it makes the AFL’s focus on the short term result of a hit, a broken jaw or concussion, for example, short-sighted.

You can get hit in the head and appear to be fine, but it builds up. You also have no idea when someone illegal targets the head what the impact will be, one punch deaths are something we have had to address away from footy.

When you throw a punch, you are taking that risk on and that is what needs to be punished, not the result.

Just the act is dangerous, the outcome is often random chance.

Really, throwing a punch needs to be penalised in a heavier fashion, there’s no reason to throw one in a footy game.

Football is dangerous enough, look at Patrick Cripps bump on Chris Mayne.

Hopefully, the AFL take this a lot more seriously in the weeks and months ahead.

West Coast to win.

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Sep 01, 2020

Love your work Titus. Always amusing and on the money. Especially like your comments on concussion and the ridiculously complacent attitude to punching that continues on the field. It is assault and piss weak by those that continue with it.


Sep 01, 2020

Before we really do leave the Cotchin's incident behind......if Melburnians want some insight as to why the virus took such a rapid hold there and not elsewhere, there are some behaviours here that are instructive. "I'm special and therefore entitled...." is an expression that springs to mind.
And if anyone can point out the key differences between the Cotchin breach and the Elijah Taylor breach, please share.


Sep 01, 2020

haven't commented in a while but want to voice my support for your punching comment. it has no place in our game.

and was i the only person who thought Balta's hit on Josh Kennedy looked deliberately clumsy?

Pinghan Chua

Sep 01, 2020

Great comments on concussion Titus. Our poor 10yo daughter has had a few, including playing footy and we’ve had to be extra careful

Robert Downey Snr

Sep 01, 2020

Here’s a prediction on how this all pans out. Chairman Dan retires undefeated in 2035 after winning a record 8 elections. He takes over as Chairman of the AFL commission. Adam Somyurek recognises the obvious potential in Brooke Cotchin and appoints her premier.

Mark Zuckerberg

Sep 01, 2020

Ok STI, you’re searching for answers and pleading for assistance. Brooke took the kids to Movie World and grammed the photos. Elijah set up his own WetNWild inside his room at his club’s quarantined hotel and smuggled his girlfriend in. Do let us know if it’s still really unclear.


Sep 01, 2020

That Cotchin exchange was just maaagnificent 👏👏👏 Bravo.


Sep 01, 2020

Was learning about Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) and other brain disorders recently in my neuropsychology lectures. Really intense lectures.

Interesting that you can't see the damage therefore you think it's not a problem (unlike getting shot or impaled by something - you can see it and generally recover quickly if you get immediate treatment). It changes the brain over time, little by little, so those "little" things that happened when you were younger add up to consequences much later on. And the consequences are dementia-type symptoms, which is heartbreaking to see.

After this news of Danny Frawley today, I was thinking about someone like Justin Clarke (ex-Lions) who seems to be a really intelligent guy who had to retire after a few concussions. I wonder how he will be impacted in the future... And even Jonathan Brown.

I appreciate that the AFL and other sports are doing things to prevent harm to players, but what happens when these ex-players are 70+? Is there any long-term help for the consequences of a short-lived football career?

Anyway... the lesson is that injuries to the head are bad, especially multiple ones.

We can all do three things (other than trying not to get head injuries): exercise plus cognitive and social stimulation - no matter what age as the brain is malleable.


Sep 01, 2020

Dear Robbo,
No, you're not the only one.
A punch is a punch, illegal under the rules. This looking at whether bloke got up and played on or had to go off is stupid. I think we know enough now to know getting up and playing on doesn't give any indication about the damage that was done. As Titus said about blokes sexually assaulting teammates just don't do it
So enough with tummy ( such a cute non threatening word) punches, jumper punches and attacks on the head. Start chucking blokes out for a few weeks and the message might sink in.

The g train

Sep 01, 2020

Titus ruthlessly and intentionally dismisses the Hawks v Adelaide clash. This undoubtedly will lead to this game being an absolute unmissable crackerjack one. Titus has the unnerving ability to often predict the exact opposite of the outcome. So, crackerjack game and Adelaide to win. Simply impossible you might say—but the Titus Effect is now in play for this one.

Real World

Sep 01, 2020

Robbo - only one I know.


Sep 01, 2020

The G Train has called it. If a team was ever due for a win it is Adelaide. The Crows train is coming - sure, sure some parts of the train are yet to be smelted from iron ore and other raw minerals (let alone manufactured and assembled) but there are concept sketches and they are understood to be quite passable.

Fat Side

Sep 01, 2020

Coupla tings -
1. Is there a large piece of military equipment in the Hawks hub, with a turret and caterpillar tracks? Tonight's game may tell the story...
2. Combining the renewed awareness of concussion, CTE, hits to the head, etc, and the Robbie Muir revelations of the past couple of weeks, I can't help think of a certain highly celebrated footballer of the 20th Century, renowned for hitting from behind, whose reputation looks a bit less shiny these days, even compared to Robbie Muir who, from memory, would always challenge and fight his detractors to their face.


Sep 01, 2020

One can only hope that you are wrong G-Train and the winless streak continues indefinitely. Other than being an interested observer in how much more the AFL can destroy the game by focusing on a different ridiculous interpretation each and every week if not each game, the Crows delicious descent into a poor excuse for a football club is the only true joy I can get from the game.


Sep 01, 2020

Cripps hit on Mayne? Poor old Crippsy was just running with the ball when Mayne decided to headbut his shoulder (or possibly his head) Yeah,its a tough game, 360 degree hits but Mayne initiated contact. Brave perhaps, yet somewhat foolhardy one may say. Courage Vs stupidity is a thin thin line

Saint Peter

Sep 01, 2020

Very controversial Titus. Spot on with all comments though. Except for one thing you tipped Hawthorn. One of your more outlandish comments.


Sep 01, 2020

@Train hope you enjoyed the concept sketches

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