Codifying decades of unofficial practice, the AFL has released a draft ‘Good Bloke Policy’ to key stakeholders for comment.
Under the policy, those officially recognised as ‘good blokes’ will receive significant reductions in tribunal penalties, amnesty for a variety of criminal acts, forgiveness for behaviour that would usually result in being shunned by society, life-long media roles and drink cards.
“This is a significant step forward in bringing transparency to the way Good Blokes are treated,” said AFL General Counsel Andrew Dillon.
“In recent times, we’ve had confusion from enforcement agencies and members of the public, which has led to Good Blokes receiving some harsh treatment.
“Obviously this needs to be addressed, and we’re in discussions with the Federal and State Governments to reflect the policy in legislation.”
Deciding who is a Good Bloke will be based on multiple factors, including games played, footballing ability, premierships, media roles, friendships with other Good Blokes, nightclub anecdotes, playing for a major Victorian club and incriminating photos of other key AFL identities.
Stakeholders have welcomed the move but sought clarity on several key points.
“Being accepted as a Good Bloke in the AFL community is like being ‘Made’ in the mafia,” said a senior club official.
“Once you’re in you can’t be touched, so we need to get the criteria right.”
A key concern is how to handle a case of two Good Blokes criticising each other.
“If you criticise another Good Bloke are you a Good Bloke? Or does both of you being a Good Bloke cancel it out?” said an executive at a major broadcast partner.
“Socrates and Plato never tackled philosophical issues as tough as this.
“I think Kant did some work on it. He was a mad Kangaroos supporter.”
The AFL is hopeful to have the policy finalised by the end of the year.
“Ultimately, this is about protecting some of the best blokes who have ever walked the Earth from the reality of life.”
“Like an animal raised in a zoo, these guys were raised in a bubble. We need to ensure they never have to adjust to the world the rest of us are expected to live in.
Come see Titus' new live show 'Insufficient Intent'. Touring late August early September 2017. All the details are available here.
COMMENTS
stevo
Nov 15, 2016
....and the Victorian footy media will help enforce the Good Bloke policy as they have been non-officially doing for years anyway, right?
KL
Nov 15, 2016
Yes, Judd elbowing Pavlich in the face and still winning the Brownlow is a clear cut example of Victorian Good Bloke overriding any other considerations.
I would also contend that Pavlich didn't enjoy true Good Bloke status despite him being a Prince Among Men.
For another example, I refer you to Brent Harvey (perhaps the ultimate Good Bloke) and his accusations of Ryan Crowley pinching him "300 times" and Crowley getting busted despite no actual evidence of any sort. Classic Good Bloke testimony and trial.
Julian's Postie
Nov 15, 2016
But Dorothy could.
TONI
Nov 15, 2016
"....nightclub anecdotes...."
Brilliant.
Ken
Nov 14, 2016
Not bad Titus..not bad.
Brian
Nov 14, 2016
I'm guessing that if you have been designated a "Good Bloke" but then move to a non-Victorian team you automatically lose your Good Bloke status.
Tamra Palmer
Nov 14, 2016
Gold
Scooter
Nov 14, 2016
What news ??? This has been in place for years !!! Ask Luke Hodge .....
Carolyn
Nov 14, 2016
Surely here is a chance to make money by the AFL by having a 1800 number where we can vote on who can be included or removed from the Good Bloke Register for the 55c per 10 seconds cost thingy?
PapaRomeo
Nov 14, 2016
Kant....bloody classic.
Damien
Nov 14, 2016
Not true, Campbell Brown went to the Gold Coast and he seems to still possess Good Bloke status.
Aaron
Nov 14, 2016
Matthew Pavlich and Chris Judd both enjoyed good bloke status while playing for non-Victorian clubs. Though admittedly Judd did his best Good Bloke work playing for the Blues.
How does this work under the policy? I assume there's some sort of sub-serviance clause where a Victorian Good Bloke takes precedence over non-Victorian ones.
Milo
Nov 14, 2016
Emmanuel barracked for Fitzroy initially. It was only when his older sister Dorothy persuaded him about the shin-boner spirit that he changed colours.
The Original Buzz
Nov 14, 2016
It has been in for years, the AFL are just making it official so all good blokes get recognised for their services to humanity.
Cranky old guy
Jun 27, 2017
Goodes was the ultimate beneficiary of good bloke policy, and he wasn't at a Vic club.
John Salter
Jun 27, 2017
Satire hits its mark hardest when it is fundamentally true. This is a great example. Nicely done.
Con
Jun 27, 2017
What about Dangerfield kneeing someone in the head and winning Brownlow in the same year!
Con
Jun 27, 2017
What about Dangerfield kneeing someone in the head and winning Brownlow in the same year!
Eddy's spare tyre
Jun 27, 2017
Where's the "Doesn't apply to Collingwood players" clause.
Josh
Jun 27, 2017
Pretty sure a character reference from the Prime Ministrer trumps all other good bloke criteria. Good Bloke hall of fame perhaps?
Michael Barbaro
Jun 27, 2017
The draft policy will need to have Waleed Aly and Australian PM approval.
There will be an annual award too with the winner referred to as the "houli"
James
Jun 28, 2017
"Kant, a mad kangaroos supporter" made even funnier when you realise his name is pronounced C#nt!
Vinus
Jun 28, 2017
The Prime Minister's word carries a lot of weight, especially when he is as learned about Aussie rules as our current PM...
Richard
Jun 28, 2017
Brilliant. Looking forward to live show.
Randall
Jun 28, 2017
I thought Houli ( shortened from Houlihan ) got off because of his Irish heritage
Leigh
Jun 28, 2017
Juddychicken winging Adams -such a good bloke
Dennis M
Jun 28, 2017
Spot on KL, spot on!
Mattay
Jun 28, 2017
This the same policy that declares Dangerfield and Ablett good blokes wanting to come home to Victoria so let's get the deal done as opposed to bad bloke Bryce Gibbs wanting to go home to SA so boohoo honour your contract you not a good bloke.