Mar 13, 2019
Bulldogs reveal worst jumper in the history of the entire universe
The Western Bulldogs have unveiled the most horrible jumper in the history of Australian Rules, a fair effort, and have weirdly tried to promote it as a positive.
The jumper, a tie in with the Marvel character Thor, has shown that the Hawthorn Football Club hadn’t plumped the depths of jumper design as previously thought.
A spokesperson for the Western Bulldogs said the jumper, which will, unfortunately, be worn for real in round one, was a shameless cash grab and had netted the club $17.
“We think fans will embrace this monstrosity, after all, it’s not like Bulldogs supporters aren’t some of the most passionate fans around who have fought and bled to keep this community club around for decades. The jumper means nothing to them.”
“Sure, have pride in the jumper but also have pride in the Disney Corporation and its subsidiary entertainment properties.”
The AFL said it welcomed the further commercialisation of the game, with a source at AFL house calling for other entertainment tie ins.
“A Saw movie franchise tie in is in the works, and we’re also keen to have a jumper that celebrates the AFL’s close relationship with pokie machines.”
The Thor jumper is being offered for sale to fans in perhaps the most optimistic move since the AFL thought a shortened version of the game would be popular.