Sep 21, 2017


Emergency Management Australia threat warning: Richmond lose to GWS


Emergency Management Australia (EMA), the Australian Government lead for disaster and emergency management, is warning all Australians to prepare for a Richmond loss this weekend.

In a statement released on their website, the agency advised Victorians to ‘flee the state of Victoria’ and ‘not to expect to ever be able to return’.

The agency said people should leave early to beat the traffic and not wait for the outcome of the game, suggesting even three-quarter time might be too late.

Under the Australian Government’s GWS Victory Emergency Plan, Victoria will be sacrificed, as will parts of southern NSW and eastern South Australia.

The plan also prioritises evacuating likely targets such as the AFL board, Andrew Demetriou and the Tarago the GWS supporters travelled to the game in.

EMA says essential services are likely to cease working within hours of a Tigers loss, as roving bands of Richmond supporters destroy essential infrastructure ‘like a zombie apocalypse come to life’.

If trapped by Richmond supporters, citizens are advised to distract them with alcohol.

Outside of Victoria, ASIO says it is currently monitoring isolated groups of Richmond supporters and is advocating communities to be alert to the danger within their midst.

EMA has advised that putting as much distance between yourself and any Richmond supporter is the best approach, with large groups considered especially dangerous.

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull said the government was monitoring the situation carefully.

“If the Richmond footballing team lose the NRL Grand Final, we expect the complete collapse of society south of the Murray River.”

“The government stands ready to deal with this crisis but I’m hopeful Richmond can outshoot their opponents.”

You can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. My aim is to keep as much of my stuff on this site and available to everyone and not behind paywalls. Find out more here:



Sep 21, 2017

Oh, perfect Titus.

Other dangers to self include snorting my morning coffee out my nose in front of everyone.


Sep 21, 2017

You really could write this article on the chance they win too...regardless the great Victorian Diaspora of 2017 begins.

Perhaps Brian Taylor can lead non-richmond victorians out of harms way by parting the seas of Port Phillip Bay.

"Let my people go...Wowweeeeeee"


Sep 21, 2017

As a bonus, with a few quick word changes, this advice can be redistributed to help prepare for a Richmond win!

Peter Atkinson

Sep 21, 2017

A win would be worse - they are conditioned to losing the important games

Suzie OBrien

Sep 21, 2017

I have taken the initiative at my company by disposing of any implements of destruction. This includes all scissors, letter openers, kitchen cutlery and most importantly the microwave oven! I have masking tape at the ready and we have a committee of volunteers to restrain any and all threats of violence due to the loss or even worse - the victory. God help us all!!!!!


Sep 21, 2017

Oh the sight of a victorious Tiger Army of 95000 and the ROAR if they make the Granny - it will be heard in every corner of the globe!!!

Michael O

Sep 21, 2017

Don't forget to send RAMSI back to Honiara to keep peace and order as there is one very feral Richmond supporter there who cause great destruction to the Honiara golf club hehe

David S

Sep 21, 2017

More the point what happens in Adelaide if the Crows lose, maybe a week of silence with a state funeral or if you don't follow them happy days even if your teams out.

Peter Bruce.

Sep 21, 2017

Well we had the Brisbane Line during WW2, maybe it's time for the Wagga Wagga Line. Or a latter day Hadrian's Wall. Who could we name that for?


Sep 21, 2017

Haha, ditto


Sep 21, 2017

It was good to see the whole staff of the AFL work a defensive spread before settling on my famous huddle this morning when they were under attack. I' ve said for years that you need an effective defence and then you should bully and belittle weaker individuals through unfair boxing match ups to sort out the wimps.


Sep 21, 2017

Nothing ever happens in Adelaide expect for the odd sporting unrelated grizzly murder every so often


Sep 21, 2017

GWS supporters must have had a lot of luggage did they?


Sep 21, 2017

They could also win the VFL grand final on Sunday and are a fair chance for that medal thingy on Monday


Sep 21, 2017

It's a shame the AFL couldn't have planned the finals series at the same time as the next federal election. Otherwise we could have had the Western Sydney pork-barrel express coming down to cheer on the Giants


Sep 21, 2017

Call it The Dusty Wall. Might need it anyway if he doesn't win on Monday night


Sep 21, 2017

Orange Kevlar is quite bulky


Sep 22, 2017

I reckon this might actually happen. I am sure riot police are on standby !


Sep 22, 2017

"Tarago of GWS supporters" that's gold Titus!


Dec 23, 2017

cell phone lookup by name I was just searching for this edcbfabbfedb


Dec 23, 2017

Article Source a viral game app is not that much difficult. gacekdggdgek

Leave a comment

We promise to never share your email with anyone else.