Jul 03, 2023
England Cricket Team: It’s not the spirit of cricket if it happens to us
The English cricket team and its fans are having one of the most enjoyable meltdowns in sporting history following Jonny Bairstow forgetting he was in the middle of a cricket test at Lords and going for a little walk.
“We are deeply upset that a lawful action that we have tried many times ourselves has worked against us this time, which feels unfair,” said Professor of Ethics at Oxford University Stuart Broad.
“Given it’s out in black and white, we are now going to bang on about the Spirit of the Game, even though we ignore that too when it suits us.”
Marylebone Cricket Club member Simon Cuffleton-Smiggly-Wright said he was outraged the colonists had used better cricketing ability to defeat England.
“We didn’t conquer most of the globe by allowing the other side to fight fair,” said Cuffleton-Smiggly-Wright.
“And how are you meant to know all these rules? Who came up with them? They seem a bit all over the shop if you ask me. Need a good sorting out.”
Fellow member Geoffrey Beaumont said he would have confronted the Australian players physically in the members if years of inbreeding hadn’t made his bones like glass.
“It’s cheating, pure and simple. When you do something in the game that is within the laws, and the umpires rule it out, that’s cheating.”
“Still, it feels like again we should have won, so technically, we are 2-0 up.”
Australian fans have noted the England cricket team and its fans have successfully thrown their toys out of the cot and something Jonny Bairstow would struggle with.
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