Feb 10, 2020
Man’s meltdown over AFLW enters fourth year
South Yarra man Derrick Arnold’s meltdown over the fact AFLW exists, entered its fourth year this weekend.
Various family members reported Derrick began ‘losing his mind’ on Friday night while watching Richmond play Carlton.
Daughter Alison said a new season record was set early, with her father uttering the phrase ‘political correctness gone mad’ three times before the opening bounce.
Surprisingly ‘social engineering’, a favourite last season, didn’t get a look in until the dying stages of the third quarter.
“It was weird, I was getting ready to go out, my brother was in his room playing PlayStation and Mum was reading, so there was no reason dad was even watching it.”
“He watched the whole game and I could hear him getting angrier and angrier, which was funny in one respect, while also a bit depressing.
“I pointed out to him that with streaming services, almost the entire history of human television and cinema was at his fingertips as an alternative, but this logic seemed to just incense him further.”
The meltdown continued on Saturday, as Derrick fumed through the Suns playing the Giants, Melbourne facing North and reached fever pitch during the Lions/Crows game.
“The rest of the family wasn’t even home, Mum was taking us to our various sporting commitments, but Alison kept reading his tweets out loud while Mum was driving,” said Derrick’s son Ben.
“My sister and I kept laughing at them, but Mum got angrier and angrier and turned the radio up really loud. I think she started crying.”
Sunday saw the family attend a close friend’s wedding, with Derrick proclaiming, despite having watched every game that weekend so far, that he was glad he would catch any of the ‘AFLW rubbish’ before insightfully pointing out that the skill level ‘wasn’t as good as the AFL.’
“At the wedding, Dad kept showing me the AFLW app and remarking on how low the scores were”, said Alison.
“I thought that was bad enough but when the celebrant asked if there were any objections, Dad yelled out that he ‘objected to the AFL forcing women’s football down his throat’.
“Mum left quietly on her own after that and is staying with our neighbour Barry up the road. Barry has no opinions on AFLW, whatsoever.”
Son Ben said Round Two was going to be ‘interesting’ and predicted his father would beat his record of 63 tweets about the AFLW in a single hour, set last year in round four, would be under threat.
“I’m not sure why he’s so angry about it. You’d think with the country being either on fire or underwater, you’d have other options to get annoyed about.”
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