Feb 10, 2020


Man’s meltdown over AFLW enters fourth year


South Yarra man Derrick Arnold’s meltdown over the fact AFLW exists, entered its fourth year this weekend. 

Various family members reported Derrick began ‘losing his mind’ on Friday night while watching Richmond play Carlton.

Daughter Alison said a new season record was set early, with her father uttering the phrase ‘political correctness gone mad’ three times before the opening bounce.

Surprisingly ‘social engineering’, a favourite last season, didn’t get a look in until the dying stages of the third quarter.

“It was weird, I was getting ready to go out, my brother was in his room playing PlayStation and Mum was reading, so there was no reason dad was even watching it.”

“He watched the whole game and I could hear him getting angrier and angrier, which was funny in one respect, while also a bit depressing.

“I pointed out to him that with streaming services, almost the entire history of human television and cinema was at his fingertips as an alternative, but this logic seemed to just incense him further.”

The meltdown continued on Saturday, as Derrick fumed through the Suns playing the Giants, Melbourne facing North and reached fever pitch during the Lions/Crows game.

“The rest of the family wasn’t even home, Mum was taking us to our various sporting commitments, but Alison kept reading his tweets out loud while Mum was driving,” said Derrick’s son Ben.

“My sister and I kept laughing at them, but Mum got angrier and angrier and turned the radio up really loud. I think she started crying.”

Sunday saw the family attend a close friend’s wedding, with Derrick proclaiming, despite having watched every game that weekend so far, that he was glad he would catch any of the ‘AFLW rubbish’ before insightfully pointing out that the skill level ‘wasn’t as good as the AFL.’

“At the wedding, Dad kept showing me the AFLW app and remarking on how low the scores were”, said Alison.

“I thought that was bad enough but when the celebrant asked if there were any objections, Dad yelled out that he ‘objected to the AFL forcing women’s football down his throat’.

“Mum left quietly on her own after that and is staying with our neighbour Barry up the road. Barry has no opinions on AFLW, whatsoever.”

Son Ben said Round Two was going to be ‘interesting’ and predicted his father would beat his record of 63 tweets about the AFLW in a single hour, set last year in round four, would be under threat.

“I’m not sure why he’s so angry about it. You’d think with the country being either on fire or underwater, you’d have other options to get annoyed about.”

Titus’ new book Please, Gamble Irresponsibly: The rise, fall and rise of sports gambling in Australia is now out. You can order it now.


Emma Laurence

Feb 10, 2020

Worthy of the Betoota Advocate.

Justin Karcher

Feb 10, 2020

Gold gold gold...

“The rest of the family wasn’t even home, Mum was taking us to our various sporting commitments, but Alison kept reading his tweets out loud while Mum was driving,” said Derrick’s son Ben.

My So Gynist

Feb 10, 2020

Can’t for the life of me see why these woke women are complaining about this man’s very genuine concerns. They don’t ever refer to players in the defensive area as backmen ... they use the PC gender neutral term defenders.

Joe Logan

Feb 10, 2020

I wouldn't dare say anything adverse about any woman or any aspect of the AFLW compensation.
Let me say though it is interesting that all games are umpired by men, all from the AFL senior panel.
I would have thought little girls would be able to dream of becoming an umpire at this "elite level"?
No gender equality there.

Joe Logan

Feb 10, 2020

My apologies i meant to say "competition" not "compensation"

Jonathan Dowling

Feb 10, 2020

You’re damned if you say anything negative about AFLW
Radio broadcasters have been threatened with contract termination if they do so.
The only thing that matters in this world is $ and if it does not eventually pay its way, then goodbye.

Ben Frisk

Feb 10, 2020

The AFL is run by a bunch or prima d onnas who have given us AFLW which is bloody awful at best and a disgrace to the female population of the world at worst. Men don't do sycronised swimming, netball or beauty pagents so keep the women off our bloody footy arenas. This is a male sport and aside for a few players tbe rest are terrible to watch anyway. The AFL has pandered to the political correct and forced this terrible standard of footy on us. Most can't kick, can't mark, can't bounce the ball and its horrible waste of television time.
Some Russian friends of mine saw some videos of the AFLW and thought the players looked terrible and the game was shocking to watch and when a bunch of hairy armpit Russian sheilas think the game is undignified of woman you know its not a good international look.

Michael Plant

Feb 10, 2020

Women in their 4th year, i remember when the vfl was 4 years old, the footy was sh*t then too. Taken them 130 years to get to the crap they serve up now. Cant wait for 22nd century.

Anne Coveny

Feb 10, 2020

Loved it - laughed the whole way through. Has Dad manged to call in on SEN talkback to give their radio audience the benefit of his insight ? There are a few regulars who cherish their outrage - and call in on a regular basis.

Joe Boyer

Feb 11, 2020

Oh, hey Ben Frisk, you've commented on an article that could have been about you and completely missed the irony. Congratulations!


Feb 11, 2020

Just ignore it like the rest of us Derrick. You'll be right mate.


Feb 13, 2020

Joe Logan - they’re not umpired my all men, nor are they all from the AFL panel. The majority are VFL umpires with a scattering of AFL umps (for the first time this year). And there are more women umpiring AFLW than there are AFL. You’ve lost the plot mate. If you can’t see the benefits this league is bringing to footy as a sport and to young girls in Aus, then you’re just oblivious or dumb.

Noddy Holmes

Mar 23, 2021

Derrick 100% correct. This is the worst standard of sport that has ever been televised. Describing the participants as awesome, incredible superstar champion athletes etc etc is absolutely laughable and gives young aspiring girls a completely false impression of the standards that need to be attained to reach a high level in sports.

Cam Flintstone

Apr 20, 2021

A bunch of sheilas running around with skills of the average joe having a kick on the weekend is funny. The fact that it is broadcasted is even more funnier but fun to watch coz they just like a bunch of average joes getting a kick, kinda like watching men’s 2nds play in country league. Lol about the hairy armpit Russian chicks!