Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Sydney (136) v North Melbourne (65)

The last time I saw something this brutal, I was watching a Federal Court Judge hand down a judgment.

Actually, this wasn’t quite that brutal.

It turns out Joel Selwood’s tall tales at the tribunal played a big part in this result, with Boomer Harvey playing a key role in helping the Swans to victory.

The Swans dominated the hapless Roos, stopping their run and dominating their defence.

Lance Franklin booted five goals and treated his defender Scott Thompson, like a rag doll. A rag doll he didn’t particularly care for.

The Swans should consider offering him a contract extension immediately.

Gary Rohan’s speed gave the Roos enormous problems and Luke Parker’s 26 disposals, eight tackles and three goals made you wonder how he missed the All Australian team.

Adam Goodes had three goals in his 350th match and Josh Kennedy had 27 disposals and was instrumental in the first half.

The embarrassment of riches the Swans have was enough to launch a million COLA jokes on social media. Not from me though. I couldn’t think of any I hadn’t already made.

A lot has been made about the Swans buying big stars, but even discarded players from other teams and their home grown players are good.

It’s really not fair! Damn their relentless professionalism. In this league, that is almost tantamount to cheating.

The quicker the AFL makes them hire Cameron Schwab the better.

The win means Sydneysiders are going to be pretty excited in a couple of days when they find out the Swans are in the Grand Final.

They’ll find out when people from the Eastern suburbs begin arriving home from ANZ Stadium. So, about Thursday.

For North, this really looked like 1st playing 6th on the ladder, maybe a bit worse.

There wasn’t a lot of positives out of this match for North. Ben Brown showed last week wasn’t a fluke and Boomer didn’t get suspended.

The Kangaroos just couldn’t handle the pressure, making mistakes and turning the ball over.

For large parts of the game, it looked like the whole field was just the Swans forward 50, like an Auskick game at halftime.

Roos fans though would have to be happy with North’s performance overall this year.

At times this season, they looked like they were on the verge of going backwards with some terrible losses, only to then steady and power home.

This loss however was devastating for the North Melbourne faithful.

I hear that the mood in the Yaris, hired to bring back all their travelling fans from Sydney, was somber.

Hawthorn (97) v Port Adelaide (94)

Making you decide if you'd prefer David Koch or Jeff Kennett to be happy is surely the devil’s work.

Unlike the previous night, this game was an absolute classic.

The weird 4.45pm start confused many, with serial glove wearer Luke Darcy letting us know that the lights were on because it was becoming overcast.

Turns out, that darkness was actually caused by a natural phenomenon known only as ‘night’ and actually occurs every single day in Australia and most parts of the globe.

I tried to explain ‘night’ to Luke following the game, but after six hours, I could tell all the talk of ‘the moon’ and ‘orbits’ was freaking him out. Poor guy.

The game itself, was just two terrific sides giving it their all.

The Power had the run, the Hawks the experience when it mattered.

Early on, it was all Port Adelaide and some inaccurate kicking was all that stopped the Power booking a Grand Final berth.

The Hawks however, don’t need much of a sniff to get back in a game and old hands Mitchell and Hodge showed the danger of giving them any opportunity.

Despite a late run, it was the Hawks that got over the line, thanks to a bad holding the ball call, but really the inaccurate goal kicking by the Power early on.

It was terrific to see the success starved Hawthorn supporters celebrating wasn’t it? There are babies as old as 11 months who have never seen a Hawthorn Premiership.

This match had the feel of a changing of the guard, with the Hawks looking tired in parts and the Power full of young, exciting talent across the field.

There can be no doubt the Power are coming and unlike Carlton, they look like they might actually arrive.

For the Hawks, it’s a shot at back-to-back Grand Finals against an old foe and a former teammate in Lance Franklin.

It’s exciting to see that Hawthorn are in a Grand Final again, despite losing Buddy, while he has helped a down and out team, starved of success in recent times, make a Grand Final.

These equalisation measures are working a treat!