The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Finals Week Three | Titus O'Reily

You are here

The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Finals Week Three

Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Adelaide (136) v Geelong (75)

A little-known fact that’s been lost in the weekend’s media coverage is that the Adelaide Crows have also qualified for the Grand Final.

I think it’s great because you do technically need two teams to contest a premiership.

While the Crows took their game to the next level, it was the Channel Seven commentary team who really stepped up in this game.

First, there was Brian Taylor referring to Jake Lever as the ‘best fister in the game’.

As I recovered from spitting my whiskey across the room, Bruce McAvaney then said of Joel Selwood, "The captain can hold his head high".

Seriously, they are just trolling us now.

This game was over before the siren.

The Crows stood apart and stared at their opponents during the national anthem, which the Cats tried to match by also not linking arms but their spacing was all wrong, and you just knew if they brought that level of ill-discipline into the match they were done for.

It took the Cats until late in the second quarter to recover from the intensity that was the Crows stare down.

The Crows were a class above the Cats all night, with Charlie Cameron giving Eddie Betts a run in the excitement stakes.

The Cats just didn’t have the talent level to match them, as the Crows defence shut them down, their midfield belted them, and their forwards played like they were putting together a highlight reel.

Not since the Eagles beat the Power have Crows supporters celebrated so hard.

Patrick Dangerfield ended the night watching his former teammates go off to a Grand Final without him, but on the plus side, he got to surf in a suit.

Richmond (103) v Greater Western Sydney (67)

The day started off badly for Greater Western Sydney, with their fans outnumbered about 32,000 to 1.

The result was a wall of noise that cascaded down from the stands and was the most terrifying sound I’ve heard at the MCG since Meatloaf performed.

When the Tigers got off to a fast start, the Richmond fans were up and about, but the Giants responded, and the tension was back.

I really started to feel for my safety as the Giants reeled in the Tigers and Richmond went into halftime with a one-point lead.

Luckily, I was wearing and Adelaide Crows’ jumper, so blended in seamlessly with the Richmond faithful as the human eye cannot detect a difference.

Richmond fans at this point looked physically distressed, and the fact was, if you’re a Tigers fan, you’re carrying thirty years of baggage that results in you just expecting the worst to occur.

In their minds, the chance of Richmond not stuffing this up would be like gravity suddenly stopping working.

As the third quarter progressed, this iron law of nature that Tigers’ fans have built their worldview on, started to look a bit shaky.

Goals started to come from everywhere. Dustin Martin was again a standout and the factory that produces Riolis showed their Daniel model is up there with the standard we’ve come to expect.

The Giants had looked good up to halftime but were playing a man down after Dylan Shiel got concussed while brutally collecting Trent Cotchin.

Luckily, Cotchin could continue, but Shiel should have a case to answer at the Match Review Panel.

Being a man down didn’t help, as did the Giants shotgun approach to delivering the ball into the forward line and the Tigers managed to cruise to a victory.

It means the drought continues for Giants fans, who have to wonder how much more heartache they must endure.

Leaving the ground, Tigers fans looked like a group of explorers who had stumbled across a mythical land called ‘Grand Final week’, a land they had heard old-timers speak of, but never really believed existed.

As I moved amongst the Tigers fans, invisible in my Crows top, I thought to myself; I hope this mighty achievement gets some media coverage.

You can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. My aim is to keep as much of my stuff on this site and available to everyone and not behind paywalls. Find out more here:


Richard Loudner 25 September 2017


Anonymous 25 September 2017

@Richard Loudner.......don't worry mate, the AFL's got your back. Another 'fairytale' is about to be delivered, with the MRP helping deliver the script. I hope you can live with a Premiership that was not earned fairly.....I'm sure delusion will kick in, Bulldog fans seem to be pretty comfortable with their non deserved cup.

Bloke from the outer 25 September 2017

Swans fan perchance.

Anonymous 25 September 2017

A neutral fan did see social media light up after last years debacle? Neutral fans observing what was plain to seems delusion is rife in Victoria. PS; I'm from Victoria but not deluded.

yellow&black noel 25 September 2017

nice effort, not even having the fortitude to submit a name to this comment, nor the "evidence" to back up your claims.
objection denied!

Anonymous 25 September 2017

The evidence is in the free kick count and a neutrally objective viewing of the game itself.......plain as the nose on your face.

Anonymous 25 September 2017

Like you had the 'fortitude' to expose yourself as 'Yellow and Black Noel'? What guts that took!

Anonymous 25 September 2017

Many Apologies for my antics on this chat. I've just realised I'm the sort of online warrior this place mocks. I'll take my comments back to the Herald Sun, where I've heard there's something big out on Warnie.

maftek 26 September 2017

Of course its always fair when you have 23 top 10 draft picks and a trade given to you in your Christmas stocking

Mrs Otten 25 September 2017

Brilliant work Titus. Nobody skews as well as you skew.

Mr Ottens 25 September 2017

Mrs Ottens - try "skewers" - after all I am the BBQ king in the house

Joseph Beckitt 25 September 2017


Tricky 25 September 2017

Titus O'Reily - the Invisible Man just like common sense at the MRP.

Charlie Farley 25 September 2017

I suspect that the Crows will be playing to win, as opposed to the Tigers, who will be playing to not lose. Tex Walker made the point in his post match on ground interview that the Crows would be going over to win, a great game plan! To Titus, thanks for putting the Knee Jerk together each week over the season.

Lou Jones 8 October 2017

Oopsy daisy! That great Crows game plan didn't quite work out did it. Tends to happen when you rock up to the GF expecting a training session, with a captain so arrogant he keeps Cotchy waiting for the coin toss and finally swaggers over chewing gum. Was that another one of his feeble attempts at intimidation through mind games? Coz boy does that stare down thing looks pretty stupid when you don't fire a shot when it really matters. Give me a team that embraces each other over a bunch of tin soldiers any day. GO TIGES!!

MRC 25 September 2017

As one noted AFL pundit put it. Cotchy is the new Hodgey

IRISH 25 September 2017

good to see you spelt whiskey properly

Frosty of Collingwood 25 September 2017

Need to scotch that school of thought right now.

Frosty of Collingwood 25 September 2017

Nice to go with the grain, however. Some commenters today seem to have the 2016 vintage of sour grapes.

Anonymous 25 September 2017

Another deluded Melbourne based view, better go to Specsavers.........or a psychologist.

Demonwise 25 September 2017

Titus you are a gem - not a word wasted and every line a winner

Daniel B 25 September 2017

I heard there's a big evacuation happening. I thought the news bulletin said "Bali", but that was just a volcano.

stevo 25 September 2017

I see Cotchin is free to play after taking out the oppositions best player on the weekend. Who is surprised? To call this league a 'National' league is wrong on so many levels.......interesting to hear your thoughts on this one Titus? After last years GF robbery, I fear Adelaide will have to be a 6 goal better team to win in a close one......

maftek 26 September 2017

or not play at the G

Colour Blind Freddy 25 September 2017

Wearing a Crows jumper....classic.

Anonymous 25 September 2017

I don't even like the Crows but I like the A(V)FL even less......

Bloke from the outer 25 September 2017

...greater Western Sydney, with their fans outnumbered about 32,000 to 1.

Tosh; they had their cheer squad their too (AKA AFL HQ).

STURT B2B 2016 2017 25 September 2017

I wanted to shove those trumpets where the sun don't shine, did the AFL recruit them from outside the ground busking?

Special 25 September 2017

I particularly loved it when Bruce Almighty said...
"if Geelong get another goal here, I think the lead isn't insurmountable. It was 10 minutes ago, but if they get the next goal, that all changes"
Sadly the dim-witted co-commentators didn't realise the utter stupidity of this comment, and nothing was said.......

Julian's Postie 25 September 2017

If your username is 'Anonymous' and you respond to the name, are you really Anonymous?

Support Staff 25 September 2017

Free Kicks: GWS 28, Richmond 27.
Disposals: GWS 392, Richmond 333.
Inside 50: GWS 59, Richmond 56.
Contested Possessions: GWS 156, Richmond 147.
Over to you Anonymous.

John Nicholls 25 September 2017

Hate to say it, Cotchin's a credit to the game, hard at the ball. But I cannot tip the Tigers. Hey Anonabus, wake up you dill, whingeing's pointless, at least since the Barry Hall grand final. This stuff evens out. You want a fair go? Good luck there. Only karma will get you, someone told me that once, not sure what it means.

Gunga Din 25 September 2017

Bet the crows couldn't believe their luck when the Geelong Falcons u18s rocked up............swans must be dirty the one good game of the year for everyone bar Dangerwood came the week before

Gunga Din 25 September 2017

@ John Nicholls - I think the karma bus is what Bucks caught when he moved from the Lions to Pies

The Captain 25 September 2017

"Luckily, I was wearing and Adelaide Crows’ jumper, so blended in seamlessly with the Richmond faithful as the human eye cannot detect a difference."
Gold! But Titus, it's not as human eye, it's Kevin Bartlett's......

BundyJack 25 September 2017

Gold, as usual. Hope you are as funny on Saturday" Go Crows.

Frosty of Collingwood 25 September 2017

Due to their well-publicised bromance, can we now call Cotchin and Martin the Brownlow Bros?

London 26 September 2017

Every Non-Richmond fan is secretly hoping Adelaide win. Lets continue to suffering, they are all a bit too cocky now.

Bloke from the outer 26 September 2017

You have obviously never been to Adelaide. One visit will certainly cure you of ever wanting an adelaide team to win.

I worry for Sergio's sanity. to be so easily seduced; it probably comes with the psychological damage of being a dees supporter.

Frosty of Collingwood 26 September 2017

The Adelaide "stance" for the national anthem reminds me of the stance and look on the face of my children when they were concentrating on squeezing a turd into their nappies.

You must have Javascript enabled to use this form.