Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.
On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.
What you really want is idiotic hysteria.
You’ve come to the right place.
Adelaide (136) v Geelong (75)
A little-known fact that’s been lost in the weekend’s media coverage is that the Adelaide Crows have also qualified for the Grand Final.
I think it’s great because you do technically need two teams to contest a premiership.
While the Crows took their game to the next level, it was the Channel Seven commentary team who really stepped up in this game.
First, there was Brian Taylor referring to Jake Lever as the ‘best fister in the game’.
As I recovered from spitting my whiskey across the room, Bruce McAvaney then said of Joel Selwood, "The captain can hold his head high".
Seriously, they are just trolling us now.
This game was over before the siren.
The Crows stood apart and stared at their opponents during the national anthem, which the Cats tried to match by also not linking arms but their spacing was all wrong, and you just knew if they brought that level of ill-discipline into the match they were done for.
It took the Cats until late in the second quarter to recover from the intensity that was the Crows stare down.
The Crows were a class above the Cats all night, with Charlie Cameron giving Eddie Betts a run in the excitement stakes.
The Cats just didn’t have the talent level to match them, as the Crows defence shut them down, their midfield belted them, and their forwards played like they were putting together a highlight reel.
Not since the Eagles beat the Power have Crows supporters celebrated so hard.
Patrick Dangerfield ended the night watching his former teammates go off to a Grand Final without him, but on the plus side, he got to surf in a suit.
Richmond (103) v Greater Western Sydney (67)
The day started off badly for Greater Western Sydney, with their fans outnumbered about 32,000 to 1.
The result was a wall of noise that cascaded down from the stands and was the most terrifying sound I’ve heard at the MCG since Meatloaf performed.
When the Tigers got off to a fast start, the Richmond fans were up and about, but the Giants responded, and the tension was back.
I really started to feel for my safety as the Giants reeled in the Tigers and Richmond went into halftime with a one-point lead.
Luckily, I was wearing and Adelaide Crows’ jumper, so blended in seamlessly with the Richmond faithful as the human eye cannot detect a difference.
Richmond fans at this point looked physically distressed, and the fact was, if you’re a Tigers fan, you’re carrying thirty years of baggage that results in you just expecting the worst to occur.
In their minds, the chance of Richmond not stuffing this up would be like gravity suddenly stopping working.
As the third quarter progressed, this iron law of nature that Tigers’ fans have built their worldview on, started to look a bit shaky.
Goals started to come from everywhere. Dustin Martin was again a standout and the factory that produces Riolis showed their Daniel model is up there with the standard we’ve come to expect.
The Giants had looked good up to halftime but were playing a man down after Dylan Shiel got concussed while brutally collecting Trent Cotchin.
Luckily, Cotchin could continue, but Shiel should have a case to answer at the Match Review Panel.
Being a man down didn’t help, as did the Giants shotgun approach to delivering the ball into the forward line and the Tigers managed to cruise to a victory.
It means the drought continues for Giants fans, who have to wonder how much more heartache they must endure.
Leaving the ground, Tigers fans looked like a group of explorers who had stumbled across a mythical land called ‘Grand Final week’, a land they had heard old-timers speak of, but never really believed existed.
As I moved amongst the Tigers fans, invisible in my Crows top, I thought to myself; I hope this mighty achievement gets some media coverage.
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