The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Round Nineteen | Titus O'Reily

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The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Round Nineteen

Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Hawthorn (72) v Sydney (66)

More evidence this week that no one will win the premiership this year.

Sydney seems to have no answers against Hawthorn, rolling out the same losing game plan with a hopeful optimism that is as heart-warming as it is ineffective.

As the Hawks continually slowed the game, the Swans decided that constantly chipping the ball sideways and backwards was the best approach. It wasn’t.

The strange thing was it almost worked, with the Swans taking the lead late in the game, only for Hawthorn to wrestle back control.

It was a spiteful game too with Buddy Franklin collecting Luke Hodge high at one stage. It was a cheap shot against someone who would never play the game that way.

It got so spiteful that kissing got involved with Will Langford kissing Jarrad McVeigh on the cheek, twice.

There are not too many workplaces where you can kiss someone uninvited and not get hauled in front of someone with 'People and Culture' in their title. Just ask an AFL executive.

North Melbourne (76) v Melbourne (72)

You have to hand it to Melbourne; they’ve got this losing to North Melbourne thing down pat. In fact, when it comes to losing to the Kangaroos, no one else comes close.

It’s been 11 years since Melbourne last beat North or 3997 days if you’re like me and are a bit depressingly obsessed by this.

The last time Melbourne beat the Kangaroos Sav Rocca was playing for the Roos.

This was a terrible performance from Melbourne when a top four spot was on the line. To make matters worse, the Dees lost Jesse Hogan with a broken collarbone.

Hogan has already had a terrible year, and while this is nothing compared to everything else he’s been through, it makes you hope his luck will turn at some point.

For North, this was proof they weren’t tanking or was it? It might just be that they’re incapable of losing to Melbourne no matter how hard they try like some physical law is in play.

So strong is their inability to lose to Melbourne that it overcame the other iron clad law that states North can never win close games.

Greater Western Sydney (98) v Fremantle (86)

For a fair while on Saturday, it looked like the Giants were going to lose to Fremantle.

So strange was it that even Dockers fans wondered what parallel universe they had stumbled into.

It was not a confidence inspiring performance from the Giants, as having the Dockers score 86 points against you is like any other team scoring 200.

Leon Cameron acknowledged it was an ugly win but said his team could get better.

He would want them to, as this was a performance so awful I thought they were the bad expansion team.

Fremantle certainly showed some promising signs, with Nat Fyfe getting back to being Nat Fyfe.

Just think, all the Dockers really need is just another key forward. Like they do all the time.

Port Adelaide (63) v St Kilda (61)

St Kilda were robbed in this one, but that was partly because they left the front door wide open for Robbie Gray in the dying seconds.

It was a terrible game for most of the day, with both sides missing easy shots early on. St Kilda at one point were 3.12, in a display of goal kicking that causes heart attacks.

The final quarter though was a mad scramble, with the Saints seemingly getting on top with just minutes to go.

So confident of a Port come back were the Power fans they streamed out of the stadium like a bomb scare had been called in.

This was a mistake.

Aaron Young booted a goal to keep Port’s hopes alive.

It all came down to a boundary thrown in, with seconds to spare, just outside Port’s forward 50.

St Kilda just had to lock it in but instead, Paddy Ryder won the hit out, and it landed directly in Robbie Gray’s hands.

Now Port’s most dangerous forward option would have been tagged right? Nope.

Gray had so much space around him he might have well been on the International Space Station.

He streamed into goal and slotted the game winner with seconds to go.

Sure, no Power fans were left in the ground to see it, but it was exciting stuff.

For St Kilda, it was the final nail in a disappointing season.

Gold Coast (65) v Richmond (98)

Richmond may not be winning pretty at the moment, but they are winning, something Tigers teams of the past often struggled with.

Tigers fans would have noted Adelaide's struggles on the weekend, GWS poor form, Sydney's loss on the MCG and even Geelong's ability to give away huge leads early on.

It's enough to make a Richmond supporter think 'this could be our year.'

Of course, that same supporter's internal monologue would go:

"Don't be silly Judith. Nothing good ever happens to us."

“This time it’s different.”

“That’s what you say every year; I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“They’ve changed.”

“They didn’t look like they’d changed against St Kilda.”


Gold Coast might not have won, but they also got lots of injuries. That sort of sums up their entire existence.

Carlton (58) v Geelong (123)

I hope if I’m ever accused of something, I’m defended with the vigour some in the media have defended Patrick Dangerfield.

Following his tackle on Matthew Kreuzer, which left the Carlton ruckman concussed, many pundits immediately began predicting Dangerfield would get off.

On further reflection, they decided it might not be that clear cut, and so they started to say that if he did get a penalty that the ‘fairest’ criteria from the Brownlow medal should be removed.

My client is innocent of murder, but if they did do it, murder should not be illegal.”

Dangerfield was even invited on TV to explain that there was nothing in the tackle. Good to know. Perhaps we should just let players decide if they get charged or not?

How Brownlow eligibility plays any part in a Match Review Panel decision is beyond me, but it seems to have in the past.

It was at best unnecessary from Dangerfield as this was a glorified training run anyway. Carlton’s season ended weeks ago, and this game was so boring, part of me wished I’d never got into football.

Western Bulldogs (127) v Essendon (97)

After every team almost tagged Jason Johannisen into footballing irrelevance, the Bombers decided that wasn’t for them.

Four-goal and 18 disposals later, you could say that was a mistake.

Essendon will be rueing this loss. They had Joe Daniher monstering the Bulldogs defence and were in touch right until the final quarter.

It was their decision making that let them down. I haven’t seen such poor decision making from them outside of a court room.

Worsfold was certainly frustrated by it, and it allowed the Bulldogs to get away with some sloppy play at times.

Pleasingly for the Bulldogs, there were glimpses here of their 2016 form. They even seemed interested in running and tackling again.

It’s so close this season that if they do come good over the next few weeks who knows?

Collingwood (103) v Adelaide (103)

It takes a lot of hard work to give up a fifty-point lead. It requires a team effort, everybody working in sync.

You need your forwards to stop taking marks, your midfield to lie down at stoppages and your backline to stop working together.

Collingwood had all this going on as they watched a fifty-point lead slowly erode in the second half to the delight of almost everyone.

How the Crows had gotten into this position was a concern in itself, and while Adelaide fans celebrated like this was a win, it was, in fact, a draw against the 13th team on the ladder.

Adelaide were awful early on, in scenes reminiscent of that performance against North earlier in the year.

But in the second half, they decided to start trying and found they were pushing on an open door.

As the feeling at the ground became one of panic, the Pies seemed done, only to boot three late goals. It felt like the Pies had saved it, despite letting such a huge lead go.

That’s what made Mitch McGovern’s pack mark and goal after the siren to tie it even more wonderful.

While it wasn’t the Collingwood loss we were praying for, it was still a satisfying end to the day.

In many ways, it summed up Collingwood under Buckley. They were both good and bad, and in the end, they had nothing to show for it.

West Coast (113) v Brisbane (45)

Did you watch this? I hope for your sake you didn’t.

I watched this, and it was terrible. I don’t know why I did. Brisbane barely sent any of their players, meaning I put more effort into this than they did.

And it was an effort. I’d made some nachos, and I burnt my mouth on the hot cheese, so watched this game while hurt.

I should have just waited for the nachos to cool down or at least stopped for a bit when I originally burnt the roof of my mouth but I didn’t.

Like a hero, I ploughed on, probably causing more damage. We’ve all played hurt before but the combination of hot cheese, salsa and Jalapeños was really something.

At one point, I rubbed my eye, and I must have had juice from the Jalapeños on my hand, and I exploded with pain, writhing on the floor with tears streaming down my face.

My vision was blurred, but unfortunately, I could still see well enough to watch the game, meaning I was in pain both mentally and physically.

All I’m saying, is we often make out watching sport is a lazy activity, but it’s not. It requires dedication and commitment and is not without significant risks. Stay safe this season everyone.

I'm touring my new show 'Insufficient Intent' around the country. Come see me in the bye weekend before the finals. Brisbane date just added: All the details are available here.

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TimmyG 31 July 2017

I love the fact that the 50 or so inbreds from the port that actually bothered to turn up missed the amazing tap and subsequent goal from Robbie Grey to seal the deal! Fair weather supporters at the port, you betcha!

Youngy 31 July 2017

If only Crows supporters could support their side with the same vigor that they do in hating Port. What has occurred to make this lot so bitter? Oh that's right they have under-achieved for 20 odd years on!

Nesqua 31 July 2017

Seriously why do you need to bring the Crows supporters into this. Be happy that your team won, Crows supporters generally don't give two figs what the insignificant little team from across town is doing.

Lightning Jim 31 July 2017

TimmyG, you must be constantly reaching for the antacid, with all that spite and pettiness.

Dion"Woosh"Turner 31 July 2017

"In many ways, it summed up Collingwood under Buckley. They were both good and bad, and in the end, they had nothing to show for it." It's like a Bukowski poem. True, poignant, and makes everyone want to drink.

Mick "why oh why Pies" 31 July 2017

Not quite true. They do have something to show for the whole sorry saga...they have the detritus of recruitment policies that insist on throwing good money after bad. Get over it Collingwood; Leigh Brown was a one-off, the subsequent attempts to get someone to play the same role have left the Pies supporters regretting ever setting eyes on Lynch, White, Maine, Cox and probably many others that haven't survived in my memory thanks to intensive therapy and my own bodyweight of Irish whiskey. And I weigh heaps.

Margotdeepa 31 July 2017

Almost as if, Essendon's Coach, Woosha, decided he would be different to the other coaches in the AFL and not tag JJ. His stubbornness to follow others and make changes has lost Essendon games before and this was, just one more time.

As he has said he wants the players to coach themselves and make changes on the field or something like that, its all their fault then??? Or, perhaps, some one doesn't want the Bombers to play finals this year!

lee 31 July 2017

Gray..... Robbie's understandable that you don't know him though being from a non VFL team.

Ed 31 July 2017

As a Tigers supporter, the highlight of my week was the Pies game. I just wish I watched it on "Press Red for Ed".

Bravo Collingwood.

Donald 31 July 2017

Great goal Robbie GRAY. You sent those bent, broken and defeated crows fans to hell with that kick.More of the same next week please.

DP 31 July 2017

Broken? Defeated? Hardly. So port had an unbelievably lucky escape against an also ran, at home, having not won three games in a row for years and beaten one top 8 Team for a similar time. Well done. Crows almost managed to steal their greatest comeback win in history after boozing through first half, but at least still managed to get back to a full game plus percentage to their nearest competitor, so pretty much as good as a win. Gray will not get anywhere near the same room next week. Let's make it six in a row against the stench from port.

Jeshaianhoppin 4 August 2017

Nice comment but i don't know why you're bothering. Wharfies can't read anyway. And they were only getting in practice for this Sunday when they evacuated early against the Sainters.

Nesqua 31 July 2017

Hey dipshit you realise you played St Kilda don't you or are you one of the people that either didn't bother to show up or pissed off early like little sookies?

Greg or Gregory 31 July 2017

sometimes, in simplistic nature, our terms don't actually mean the sum of the comments read, post script. Many follow and not only learn but behold the greatness of such men. Only the great will come out on top, notwithstanding a tired fluke on occasion.

Steive 31 July 2017


Steive 31 July 2017


Julian's Postie 31 July 2017

You say you watched the Brisbane vs. West Coast game Titus, but not one comment on the match. (I didn't make it through either).

Ronnie 31 July 2017

That was his comment!

Hodgie the Bodgie 31 July 2017

After yet another weekend of Bruce having a love-in with the Hawks and then the Crows, I wonder if he realises how his call reflects his true loves.

On another matter, next time Langford (or any player) kisses an opponent, I suggest the penalty should be he has to play with his shorts around his ankles for the next ten minutes.

Actually, next time there is a blue, save the jumper or any other variety of punch or bitchslap and a trip to the Tribunal or MRP, and just get a teammate to dak the offending opponent. Nothing in the rules says you can't pull an opponent's shorts down - Collingwood nearly did it to Adelaide on Sunday.

Damo 31 July 2017

Actually I thought the review of the West Coast/Brisbane match was very interesting, and thoughtful. In the words of Hamish & Andy, Titus, remember to check your temps

Vic Parkes 31 July 2017

At least Langford can kiss. He sure can't shoot for goal. Why would Clarko insist on playing Langford in the forward line when he clearly has an allergy to the space between the uprights - any of the three spaces in fact?

BTW, the tiger theme song is now '....we come from tiger, lemon & black, we come from tiger land.' with their 2017 strip.

Wendy 31 July 2017

re spiteful, provocative kissing - according to Roy Masters (last Sunday during "Offsiders") ruffling an opponent's hair is much more insulting. Must be a bloke thing.

SOS 31 July 2017

North were given a lesson that NO team will dare try and out tank Melbourne.

CANDLES 31 July 2017

Loved the West Coast-Brisbane write-up. Classic Titus.

Fozz 31 July 2017

Titus, have you considered not broadcasting to anywhere west of Horsham?

London 31 July 2017

#freekickhawthorn - again, they get away with murder
#keepbuckley - hes the top man for the job. Voss is avail if not
#bringbackhird - jobe needs some juice to fire

Billious 31 July 2017

Fifty years ago almost to the day my grandfather and I had an argument about soccer overtaking aussie rules footy because footy was getting too rough . My response was that soccer is more of a a girlie game and you will never see an aussie rules players kiss and carry on like soccer players do. He laughed and said "never say never it may happen one day". To which i responed "not in my life time", but how wrong i was thanks to the blonde hawk who has an obvious fondness for kissing guys not once but twice. First the bra was introduced several years ago, then mounting each other in scrimages, now kissing, where will it end. My grand father will be sitting up there grinning at having made his prediction a half a century ago and see it finally proved right.

Kiss Me 1 August 2017

I heard some comments at the Pride game on how attractive Jared McVeigh is.

Nachos 1 August 2017

Please share your recipe for Nachos.

Bigusdickus 1 August 2017

“My client is innocent of murder, but if he (they) did do it, murder should not be illegal.”

In many ways, it summed up Collingwood under Buckley. They were both good and bad, and in the end, they had nothing to show for it.

A couple of good lines, Thanks Titus.

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