The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Round Seven | Titus O'Reily

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The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Round Seven

Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

St Kilda (108) v Greater Western Sydney (85)

Friday night sent a clear message to everyone, ‘your tips are stuffed.’

This season is impossible to get a sense of. At this point, my tipping is as good as my life choices.

In fact, life is basically one big tipping contest; you think you know what’s going on occasionally and then it reminds you that you know nothing.

Soon you begin to pay less attention, often not bothering to participate. Then Sebastian, who is obviously a moron, is suddenly in front and you start to wonder if it’s all rigged.

Despite initiating the carnage that would be inflicted on my tips, this was a stunning victory by the Saints who were behind in the third before overrunning the Giants.

They were seriously impressive, and it was all the young guys who I haven’t learnt their names yet that impressed.

After such a great victory for St Kilda, it seemed strange that as a reward, Channel Seven sent Brian Taylor into their rooms to talk to them. Surely sending him to the losing side's rooms would make more sense?

The motivation to win would also be raised considerably. That would be more effective than this 17-5 schedule nonsense.

Under the current set up, tanking would be a rational response.

I can imagine Leon Cameron addressing his troops after the game 'disappointing loss boys, but at least our change rooms are sans BT."

Cameron has bigger issues than a Bristles free environment. For such a talented side, their lack of hunger when the going got tough was a real worry.

North Melbourne (145) v Adelaide (86)

This first quarter was the most brutal thing I’ve seen in footy, and I saw Jack Watts' debut in person.

At quarter time, the score was 64-0 and calling the Crows players witches hats would be a disservice to witches hats, who at least serve a function.

Just how bad were Adelaide? Well, Jarrad Waite had three goals in the first quarter and ended with six. I know.

It was almost as if the footy gods, having heard many commentators claim only three teams could win the premiership this year said, ‘Oh yeah? Watch this.”

This being North, the question was, could they stuff up a 64-point head start?

There were a few moments where it seemed like they just might, but in the end, North were just better.

What to make of this for the Crows? There are three potential scenarios, it was an off day, they aren’t that good, or they are all in on an epic match fixing caper.

Match fixing seems the most logical, but it’s probably just an off day.

Collingwood (56) v Carlton (79)

Is 56 points a low score? It seems low. North Melbourne scored more than that in one-quarter.

Do we even need to go over Collingwood again? It’s been done to death, and anyone who reads this column regularly knows I made my mind up about them three years ago.

It was fun watching the Blues beat the Pies ahead of their 125-year celebration party, with Daisy Thomas kicking the goal that sealed it.

That party must have been a fun one for Nathan Buckley and Eddie McGuire to walk into. Lucky for Eddie, the current mess is all Buckley’s fault.

Imagine going to a party made up of only Collingwood supporters? I believe that was Dante's seventh circle of hell.

What was impressive about this game were the young players coming through at the Blues. Considering they were written off during the pre-season, they now sit above Sydney, Hawthorn, Collingwood and North Melbourne on the ladder.

Sam Petrevski-Seton looks like a handy addition and a nightmare for commentators.

To think the Blues had to go through the Malthouse disaster and are still ahead of the Pies.

Port Adelaide (87) v West Coast (97)

After an impressive start, Port seem to be returning to the Port we know. With 31 degrees and a sandstorm facing them next week in China, if they were a stock you’d be selling.

It took a lot of work for the Power to lose this. They had 68 forward entries to 39, and they still lost.

The Eagles backline just continued to rebound, with Elliot Yeo needing to write a thank you note to the Power midfielders for their poor disposal.

On top of that, the Power were inaccurate in front of goal.

The Eagles seem to like Adelaide Oval, dispelling the belief that they can’t win away from home. They just can’t win at the MCG with their game plan. Their options are to get the AFL to switch the Grand Final from the MCG or adjust their game plan.

Guess which one would be easier?

The Eagles face the Bulldogs next in another good Friday night game. I could get used to good Friday night games.

Gold Coast (124) v Geelong (99)

Based on this performance, if Gary Ablett wants to return to Geelong, it won’t be to win a premiership.

Geelong were poor for most of the night before staging a late comeback. The Cats seem to be falling into the bad habit of leaving things to the last minute. That only works for essays and round wrap-ups.

The Geelong defence made more mistakes than George Calombaris’ payroll manager. I think in Geelong’s case it wasn’t on purpose.

A few times they just dropped simple marks and looked a bit awful.

The Suns deserved the win; they were the only team to put in four quarters of effort.

Ablett is obviously washed up though. He had a lousy 32 disposals and one goal. It’s sad watching him struggle so much.

The Suns now head off on David Koch’s Bogus Journey to China, where it’s been revealed most Suns players will have to go in economy for 21 hours.

That should do them them world of good.

Western Bulldogs (80) v Richmond (75)

As the weekend spun out of control, the prevailing logic was that the Tigers would join the craziness and win. Of course, the Tigers then lost.

Richmond did it their way though, getting 32 points in front during the second quarter before watching the Bulldogs claw their way back before winning by less than a goal.

Damien Hardwick’s biggest problem was Luke Beveridge started to do some of that coaching stuff. There must have been panic in the box as he moved players around.

“If only we could change tactics!”

As the game went on, Dustin Martin must have felt like the council worker holding the shovel while everyone else stood around ‘supervising.’

Marcus Bontempelli was seriously impressive in this, especially when it mattered. In close his hands are amazing (wow that’s an awkward sentence).

Sydney (135) v Brisbane (81)

A bit of controversy before the game with Aliir Aliir dropped for missing training. It was a shock, who knew the Swans were holding training this year?

To say Sydney were due a win is perhaps the biggest understatement of the year, right up there with ‘there are some minor inconsistencies in umpiring this season’.

Against a Dayne Beams-less Lions, the Swans had to win, or it would have been wherever you go after panic stations. Where do you go after panic stations? The hysteria hubs?

Fortunately for them, this was over quickly, with the Swans looking like the Sydney of old. The midfield was dominant, and Buddy was doing ridiculous Buddy things.

Franklin would finish with eight goals, and the Swans can now breathe a sigh of relief that they have a win.

The challenge for them now is to do it against a side that isn’t Brisbane.

Melbourne (91) v Hawthorn (94)

The thing that kills Melbourne fans is not the losing; it’s the way they lose. All season the Dees have shown flashes that they can mix it with any team, the only problem is at best, they can do that for two-quarters.

In the first half, the Dees again showed their turnover-riddled ‘brand’ of football in a performance that paid homage to the Neeld era.

Hawthorn, despite being at time woeful this season, feasted on the turnovers and looked like 2014 Hawthorn in the first half, slicing the Dees apart with ridiculous ease.

This was despite the fact Jaeger O’Meara missed again due to knee soreness. I’ve always said, you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one set of dodgy knees.

The second half saw the Demons play the football they are capable of in brief patches, running all over the Hawks in the third.

In the fourth, it seemed like the Dees could actually win, despite not playing the first half, but you can’t play just two quarters and expect to win, and Hawthorn’s experience showed.

It means that Jordan Lewis, despite all his success, remains winless against Hawthorn, a genuinely shocking record.

Concerning, Hawthorn are now not far enough away from the top eight as I would like.

Fremantle (116) v Essendon (79)

Essendon are exhausted apparently, or they may not be very good. It’s possible they are not very good and exhausted.

Early on Essendon were locked in and built up a handy lead, but like me after drinking wine at lunch, they became increasingly tired and uncoordinated before embarrassing themselves.

The Dockers could sense the Bombers were flagging, and they doubled their efforts, overrunning them in the third quarter.

This was a more predictable result after the nonsense of the round, but it does mean Fremantle now are 4-3 and sit in ninth spot.

This season is bonkers, but it is fun.

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Clive Waterhouse's underpants 8 May 2017

The round of the underdog!! Has anyone told the chinese to boo loudly at the umpires yet?

Michelle 8 May 2017

The Chinese won't boo the umpires, in their country those kinds of blatant displays of disrespect for so called authority figures usually ends with someone getting crushed by a tank.

Monoccular 8 May 2017

Collingwood.......managing things so well. Just enough surprise wins to prevent them from sacking Buckley and contracting a real coach. Long may it continue.

John Nicholls 8 May 2017

Dunno about flying to China. I always caught the bus to the ground. Sometimes I got changed at home, in front of the heater when it was cold, if you do that, you need to be careful in the boots, getting on the bus. Will they get dim sims on the plane?

broken bones 8 May 2017

i think adelaide got the wrong memo
they were obviously saving themselves for china
until they found out at quarter time
they wernt the adelaide team going

Shags2207 8 May 2017

"After such a great victory for St Kilda, it seemed strange that as a reward, Channel Seven sent Brian Taylor into their rooms to talk to them. Surely sending him to the losing side's rooms would make more sense? "
Can BT actually "talk"? He certainly can't commentate and his constant reminders throughout the game that St Kilda was on the verge of being crushed gave us the lie that they would win!

Marcus 8 May 2017

So true. I've taken to muting him and listening to the radio commentary, even with the three second delay it is superior!

Bloke from the Outer 8 May 2017

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assassins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment.
The stench here is overpowering.
This level is also home to the (Colling)wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Sounds like Vic Park to me.

Knobby butcher 8 May 2017

Wrath of the outer , noice !

What the? 8 May 2017

What. The. Firk?

Ps - great round up Titus.


Sounds more like the travel and game conditions in China...if you ask Gold Coast.

Pieman. 9 May 2017

Yes, as a Pies supporter I can only agree this is the special hell Buckley is dragging us through... best to close your eyes, and softly hum the club song... remembering better days. It is torturous watching the train wreck that is Collingwood at the moment... I wish I could find the remote and change channels...

Dyer Need 8 May 2017

I feel that if Melbourne had lost the free kicks 16-4 after quarter time, and lost the game on a rubbish deliberate call in the last minute, you might have mentioned it.

Hug Dawkins 8 May 2017

When will the Dogs stop toying with their prey?

MarkfromMelbourne 8 May 2017

I came to Malta, Hal Ghalax to be precise, to get away from football but unfortunately someone invented the internet.

The Melb-Hawthorn highlights seemed to consist of Jarryd Roughhead pushing people in the back/side etc and the umpires ignoring it. That used to be a free in the olden days last year. Is this be nice to Ruffie year?

Gosh rhe Dee's are frustrating though...

Phil is Retired 8 May 2017

Did anyone notice the the effect of crowd affirmation on Friday night? I guess because it was that unwanted team from Western Sydney it didn't rate a mention. (22-10 in favour of St Kilda if you didn't notice)

Anonymous 8 May 2017

1 Vote: A bit of controversy before the game with Aliir Aliir dropped for missing training. It was a shock, who knew the Swans were holding training this year? -

2 Votes: Friday night sent a clear message to everyone, ‘your tips are stuffed.’ -

3 Votes: Imagine going to a party made up of only Collingwood supporters? I believe that was Dante's seventh circle of hell. -

Not Anonymous, Marcus 8 May 2017


AM I ANONYMOUS? 8 May 2017

I thought you were going to say Geelong's defence made more mistakes than the Queensland Health Payroll system.........

No You Aren't 10 May 2017

Probably the same shredder that does the payroll for George.

Miss Jane 8 May 2017

This season is definitely bonkers... My blind tips at the start of the season netted me a 7 for this round. But my tips I put in after reading your article last week got me a 4! Bonkers

Pieman. 9 May 2017

Is there a medication to cure me from barracking for the Pies? This strange affliction took a dark turn and symptoms of concern early 2012 (the Mayans predicted the end of the world would occur in 2012, and Collingwood got on board with that prediction). Symptoms are chronic pain centred around the chest, mood swings, outbursts of anger and despair... often triggered by seeing the colours black and white in close proximity, and extreme frustration and hysterical laughter arises when the word Buckley is uttered. I have tried herbal remedies, applied to go on the medicinal cannabis program.... (joined a Pies Support group, but was kicked out for having too many teeth) can anyone help? I am willing to travel.

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