New AFL player code of conduct released | Titus O'Reily

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New AFL player code of conduct released

Recent events have once again raised what are the acceptable limits of what can and can’t be said on an AFL ground. A draft code of conduct has been drawn up by the AFL Players Association and the AFL to address this and general behaviour on the field. It is currently being circulated for comment.

Here is that draft:

  • No racist or sexist comments, save that material for your media career, it guarantees you a job on radio and TV
  • Try saying something nice to your opponent, compliment them on their hair or their sleeve tattoo. Example: “That’s the nicest sleeve tattoo I’ve seen on the field today and I’ve seen several.”
  • Avoid saying anything about a player’s family unless it’s constructive criticism. Example: “Hey, tell your sister she can achieve anything if she just stops doubting herself and goes for it. Don’t let the relentless oppression of the patriarchy stifle her dreams.”
  •  If you must say something negative about someone’s family, don’t then get upset when that player yells at you while you’re lying on the ground in pain.
  • Interpretive dance can be just as hurtful as words if done right. Best to avoid.
  • Miming having a spear or syringe can also really upset people, even though these things are imaginary. In fact, everyone hates miming so don’t do it.
  • Don’t sledge people based on their religion. Unless they’re a Scientologist because that stuff is crazy.
  • Try not to use stereotypes on the field, for instance, ‘white men are terrible dancers’, while accurate, is very hurtful to the most persecuted group in society, white men.
  • Try to spend at least five minutes a quarter checking in with your opponent on how they are going in life and if there’s anything they need to get off their chest.
  • It is perfectly acceptable to sledge someone based on their footballing ability but preferably not teammates
  • If you do deliver a sick burn about someone’s footballing skills, follow it up with some tips on how to correct the flaw. Example: “Nice shot, now next time try aiming for the two big sticks. But in all seriousness, I notice you’re bringing your hand across your body during the ball drop, try to straighten that up.”
  • If you feel the need to say something negative to an opponent, stop and think, do I light my candle by blowing out someone else’s? What flaws in my own character am I trying to make up for by talking down someone else?
  • Punching someone in the jaw is fine but make sure you have a good grasp of their jumper first
  • Don’t tackle anyone too hard

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Ted McDonnell 17 May 2017

The players are too stupid to understand that they are part of society; and the fans too ignorant ... full stop...

Boris 17 May 2017

Not a good day to give up caffeine eh?

RED 17 May 2017

Wow Ted, can we please have you writing for Titus on a daily basis, i'm sure it would assist with the push for voluntary euthanasia to be legalised!

Demonic Possession 18 May 2017

Ted's writing has me thinking i wont wait for it to be legalised.

Valma Downing 18 May 2017

As always, brilliant on so many levels, Titus. Haha, didn't expect the jumper punch reference, but love it.

Freo fan 17 May 2017

Holding up a number of fingers to represent the amount of premiership medallions takes the focus off what we are teaching kids the game and life is really about: participation not achievement.

E.g. Jordan Lewis should be saying "hey Zac I really respect that you have made it to 3 grand finals at 2 different clubs without being able to play the game, good on you for having a go".

Maybe follow it up with "Ross has seen lots of other teams win flags up close so he obviously knows what it takes to get the job done and that is why you get a game, even if noone else sees it".

Remember, PARTICIPATION is the achievement. I turned up on a Tinder date wearing acid wash jeans, an emu bitter t shirt and double pluggers. My date walked out after 5 minutes after I made an astute observation about the waitresses skirt flattering her ass....but the point is I participated, and truth be known I'm still waiting for my happy meal voucher and participation certificate, like the 22 that Freo have in their trophy cabinet.

Sheppo 17 May 2017

What has any of this got to do with the subject matter? Obviously you're a Weegirls supporter with the History channel on repeat as usual. Or maybe a Sainters fan who needs to build a bridge, either way, it's lame & so rehashed it's beyond boring.

What'sEatingSamGilbert? 17 May 2017

I would argue that pulling off (ha) the perfect tackle, where the opposition player is crushed, but doesn't suffer a head injury, is worthy of an AFL award like the Goal and Mark of the Year. The difficulty in landing such a tackle is on par, if not more so.

Dan 17 May 2017

I wonder how Michael Voss's comments to his brother on field regarding the lineage of the family tree would fare in this "new football" environment? perhaps a good talking to.....

Pete 17 May 2017

After you tackle or knock a player down it would be appropriate to help them up and dust off their guernsey.

Bundy 17 May 2017

Depends on what body gets dusty.

Chicken Dinner 17 May 2017

I think a seperate section within the code should be made for umpires. A congratulatory comment about correct decision against a player evidences the spirit we now seek. "How on earth did you know I meant to do that deliberately, great job" can only help a fledgling umpire trying to interpret a silly rule.

Sheephouse 17 May 2017

The Cats are taking to that last one like ducks to water.

dumbfounded 17 May 2017

hang on... something happened on the weekend that the media commented on... lets change the rules and ruin the game a little more... soon, we should be able to piss everyone off... ggrrrrr

Liam Foden 17 May 2017

Ted McDonnell you are so right, we need to abuse stupid people so that they won't in turn abuse other stupid people...

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