May 16, 2019

AFL

Pole climbing epidemic will destroy football

8 Comments

The overpaid executives littering AFL House like autumn leaves have once bought our great game to the brink of extinction. 

I am, of course talking about the unchecked epidemic of pole climbing that has overtaken our great game.

AFL House has once again been asleep at the wheel, as Dane Rampe, like some extra in Mad Max: Thunder Road shimmed up the goal post in the dying seconds of the game. 

His actions were stupid at best, reckless at worst, and almost resulted in Essendon winning a game, something no one wants, not even Essendon players it seems, based on their efforts this century.

I have long been a vocal critic of the AFL’s reluctance to tackle this issue, and now, unfortunately, I’ve been proven correct. 

We are only approaching Round Nine, and already there’s been more incidents of pole climbing than in the rest of this century combined.

In response to Rampe’s little ascent, AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan said: "Well, yes technically [it is a free kick], but I think like all things it's context where and when.”

That’s great; all we need is more vagueness when it comes to the AFL’s rulebook, a tome so poorly written it makes Fifty Shades of Grey seem like Shakespeare.

With the prevalence of pole climbing and elbows, the AFL is becoming more like the WWE every single day, but with less believable storylines and worse umpiring.

What’s even more disappointing, and further evidence of how footy is getting soft is that in my day, players didn’t climb posts, they broke them. 

So, what can the AFL do? Obviously, the first step is to wrap the goal posts in barbed wire. 

This would be a simple and cheap solution and would sort the problem out pretty quickly. 

Now those bleeding hearts at the AFL Players Association will complain about this but should we listen to them when the state of the game is at stake?

What’s a few barbed wire entanglements to avoid the harrowing scenes we saw last week?

Will it happen? I doubt it, once again the AFL sits on its hands as while the very goalposts that stand as the very pillars of our great game, burn.

You can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. I aim to keep as much of my stuff on this site and available to everyone and not behind paywalls. Find out more here: https://titusoreily.com/support-titus

COMMENTS

Blood Rule

May 16, 2019

Let it go.

Ken Cooper

May 16, 2019

While we’re at it what about saving the humble boundary line. This proud and long serving servant of the game is now be ignored by the players and umpires alike. Where’s Steve Hocking when you need him? In my day (oops, showing my age there) when you were over the boundary line it meant something. Now players are allowed to play on while over the line and out of the field of play. Surely the ball should be surrendered to the boundary line’s best friend, the boundary umpire when the player plays on. What ever happened to don’t run off your line? And don’t start me on context or practical decision making. Bring back the real boundary line, not this pale imitation we’ve suffered for the past few years! The boundary line means something - over to you AFL.

Selwood's Other Duck

May 16, 2019

Didn't that lunatic that did the battery ads climb the posts many years ago - from memory on a number of occasions (but I could be wrong there). Might have been a Demon from memory...

Just wondering...Do you know if it's against AFL rules for a fullback to launch a hot air balloon while an opponent is having a set shot?

-SOD

manfacingnortheast

May 16, 2019

I still maintain Rampe just got horny all of a sudden.

OK:manfacingnortheast FLOAT LIKE A LEPIDOPTERA AND STING LIKE A HYMENOPTERA

Stu

May 16, 2019

Anyone want to talk about how it's not a free kick? He didn't intentionally shake it, he climbed it? The AFL pretending their rule covered it - it didn't. He didn't do anything wrong.

P BARNUM

May 17, 2019

At half time during the Grand Final, after the sprint, I’d love to see a goal post climbing tournament .... extra points gained for getting a hand to incoming balls kicked from the 50m arc!

Itsallinthespiritofthething

May 17, 2019

As a Swans supporter I'm surprised the AFL haven't removed the posts entirely. We've had invisible spears in our great game so it's just a small leap of imagination to apply this to goals and behinds.

B Springsteen

May 17, 2019

Things I like: songs about honest, working men and wearing two jackets at the same time.

Things I don't like: being a pedant. However I think you'll find it's Mad Max: Fury Road, not Thunder Road (although the latter does sound like it would also be a good movie).

Leave a comment

We promise to never share your email with anyone else.