As 2013 limps to the finish line, I asked some of Australia’s sporting personalities for their New Year’s resolutions. Some of the answers may surprise you.

Andrew Demetriou- To follow up a fantastic 2013 season with another just as good.

Bernard Tomic- To continue to not live up to my promise. I’d also like to continue coming across as a goose.

James Hird- To get the ‘Stand by Hird’ logo redesigned. Maybe a new font? I’d better check with Tania first.

Tania Hird- I tell you what I won’t be doing, telling lies in the furtherance of my brand. Now get out of my front yard.

Nathan Buckley- To try to accept that human frailty exists in other people and is not just laziness.

Dustin Martin- To finally learn what the letters GWS actually mean and what’s a giant?

David Gallop- To launch new franchises in the Gold Coast and North Queensland.

Harry O’Brien- To let the entire world know my name is now Heritier Lumumba and I fight for justice!

Brian Taylor- To really push the boundaries of inane catchphrases.

Casey Stoner- I’m keen to move on to whinging about new things.

Eddie McGuire- To speak my mind and not hold back. Also no more promoting musicals.

Shane Watson- To start to put myself first every once in a while.

Ellyse Perry- I wish the Australian public would calm down a bit about women’s sport. It would be nice to not be on the front page of the paper every day.

Paul Little- To work out a way to ensure James doesn’t come back, without appearing to but I’ve already said too much.

Kevin Pietersen- To stay true to my English roots.

Shane Warne- To age gracefully and to get Liz back. LIZ! Why, God, why? LIZZZZZZ! Come back!

Brad Scott- To continue to put 75 per cent effort into everything we do.

Chris Scott- To work out how to turn on these new lights so we don’t have to train in the dark.

Darren Lehmann- It was originally going to be win back The Ashes but I was ahead of schedule.

Gary Ablett Jr- To try not to get bored while dominating an AFL game.

Buddy Franklin- To fit into the Bloods’ culture while also taking the lion’s share of the money and whatever else I want.

Heath Shaw- Learning how to program my GPS so I can drive myself to training.

Alan Didak- To get drafted. I’ve got eight or nine seasons left.

Mick Malthouse- To get round to reading that book my daughter wrote about me. She’s starting to ask questions.

Paul Roos- To not age 30 years in one and keep my thick and rich hair.

Ross Lyon- I’m confident this year I’ll kill a journalist with boredom in a post-match media conference.

David Koch- To enjoy my role at Port Adelaide while importantly, continuing to live in Sydney.

Jobe Watson- To not admit to taking banned supplements on live television.

Tim Watson- To stay impartial while commenting on the Essendon supplements scandal.

Jeff Kennett- To be relevant again. Oh what I’d do! Will work for free.

Scott Watters- To get that contract extension.

ASADA’s CEO, Aurora Andruska- Find my to-do-list. I vaguely recall having some things on it. I’d also like to rush less.

Clive Palmer- Finally get around to starting that alternate A-League.

Sonny Bill Williams- To pick something and stick to it.

Harry Kewell- To not always push myself so hard to play through injury. Sometimes it’s your body telling you to take a break.

Tom Waterhouse- To continue to please mummy.

Chris Judd- I’ll tell you what I’m not doing any more, caring about the environment, that’s what.

Alastair Clarkson- To stop bottling up my anger and let it come out. It’s healthy.

Eddie Betts- To find out what the hell ‘fritz’ is and why people keep offering it to me.

Justin Leppitsch- To try not to feel so homesick all the time.

Josh Gibson- To stop having to deny being with Rihanna in LA when people ask me about it, after I’ve inferred it.

Clinton Jones- Eat more healthily. You thought I’d say something like, ‘Not set dwarves on fire,’ didn’t you? Well, I believe in setting realistic New Year’s resolutions.

Adam Simpson- To make the West Coast Eagles a force again. What’s that? No. I’m their coach. No, he left. Seriously. I think it was September? No, I’m not the assistant.

Ryan Griffen- I’m really keen to get some coverage of the club in the local paper. Promote our major sponsor ‘Lou’s Quality Meats’. He’s a great guy Lou. Runs his butcher shop with just him and his wife.