Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.
On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.
What you really want is idiotic hysteria.
You've come to the right place.
Saturday
Geelong (75) v Brisbane (122)
There is nothing better than Grand Final day, the excitement, the nervousness, the people ordering bourbons and Cokes at 7 am.
As I walked through Richmond, people were already getting into the festivities and the mood was joyous.
“Who do you think is going to win?” someone asked me.
“Geelong by a lot,” I answered confidently, my footy nous once again on display.
“Who will be Norm Smith?”
“Patrick Dangerfield.”
Arriving at the ground, the Footy Festival outside the MCG was already pumping despite their being hours to go until the game.
“Melbourne suck!” someone yelled as I walked past.
“Get stuffed, kid,” I responded to the five-year-old.
In the ground, I found my seat and settled in to watch Snoop Dogg.
Chatting to people around me, there were mixed views on whether Snoop was going to be any good.
One guy complained that Snoop was hired just to pander to a younger generation.
Given Snoop is 53 years old and has been putting out music since the early nineties, I suggest a lot of people entering their fifties grew up with him.
“Hardly a brand new act.”
The man stopped talking to me.
Before Snoop came on, we had Baker Boy, who I’d interviewed during the week.
“I know him,” I said, and now everyone around me stopped talking to me or looking at me.
Baker Boy performing ‘Thick Skin’, and it was high-energy stuff, but you got the sense everyone was waiting for Snoop.
Before they got him, Mike Brady was unfrozen from his cryogenic sleep to sing ‘Up There Cazaly’, a welcome life raft in a sea of unknown songs from many around me.
Despite some audio problems, Mike got them singing.
Then it was finally time for Snoop.
Now, my review comes through the eyes of someone who grew up with his music, and I’m known for my street cred and my membership in a gang, the MCC.
Snoop certainly bought energy, or at least his dancers did, who really put on a show.
Snoop however, moved around almost as little as Patrick Dangerfield would over the following four quarters.
A lot of it seemed to come down to how much you knew and liked Snoop’s music.
For some, it was the best thing ever; for others, it was bewildering.
One thing I found odd was he kept saying the word mother, then there would be a long pause.
I can only assume there was an intermittent problem with his microphone.
He was joined by Jessica Mauboy, who seemed to also have a problem with her mic as you couldn’t really hear her at the ground.
Overall, it was a good show but lacked the sing-along aspect that some of the more recent acts have delivered.
Finally, it was time for the game, and the first quarter was intense, like watching Breaking Bad for the first time intense.
There were errors galore, but a lot of them were because there was no time.
The minute anyone got the ball, about three opponents were on them.
Zac Bailey had a horror first quarter, booting four behinds, most of them ones he should have converted.
“Mark my words, that will cost them the game,” I said confidentially to the lady next to me.
She swapped seats with her husband so she didn’t have to sit next to me.
The level of pressure from the first quarter couldn’t last, and by the second quarter, players were starting to get some space.
Yet one man couldn’t, Cats skipper Patrick Dangerfield, who was having trouble getting into the game.
That would change, however, before halftime, when he had a massive collision with Jeremy Cameron, breaking Cameron’s arm.
This would have been a handy move if they were on different teams.
It was not the sort of impact he wanted to have on the game.
Oh, and no, Cameron didn’t come off, despite Dangerfield saying later he immediately heard a snap.
Instead, the Cats wouldn’t use their sub until the fourth quarter, and that was to take off Rhys Stanley.
At halftime, there was nothing to separate the two sides; scores were levels, as were disposals, kicks and handballs.
The only difference is the umpires obviously had a soft spot for the Cats.
At halftime, Chris Fagan would summon in Lachie Neale.
“Watch this backfire,” I said to the family in front of me.
Neale then produced one of the great halves in Grand Final history, his goal from outside 50 before three quarter time the clear sign the dam was about to break wide open.
The third quarter had also seen Charlie Cameron get busy, and by the fourth quarter, it was less a footy game and more a sing-along to the post-goal songs of the various Lions’ players.
Geelong looked like a spent force, and everywhere you looked, Brisbane players were putting in highlight reels for being the Norm Smith Medallist.
Will Ashcroft would get it with 32 disposals, 10 clearances and a goal, but Charlie Cameron had been key to breaking the game open, so had Hugh McCluggage with four goals and 26 disposals and Harris Andrews had stopped everything.
Others like Dayne Zorko and Jaspa Fletcher had been great, while Zac Bailey would have won it if he’d kicked accurately.
Worryingly for Geelong was the number of their key players who went missing.
Dangerfield was the most obvious, but Cameron’s broken arm effectively took him out of the game, and Bailey Smith showed more fight against a media photographer than he did on the day.
Naturally, Chris Scott didn’t complain at all or offer any excuses, oh, except for saying he’ll be happy to see the end of the sub rule because obviously that was the only reason they lost.
None of this really mattered; the Lions were just way too good everywhere and as the game went on, the majority of the Cats players were found wanting.
The Lions had learnt something from their loss a fortnight before; it appeared the Cats had felt they didn’t need to.
As I wandered back through Richmond after the game, the place was going off.
“What did you think, Titus?” some asked.
“Just glad I tipped the Lions,” I said.
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COMMENTS
KP
Sep 29, 2025
"She swapped seats with her husband so she didn’t have to sit next to me."
Very funny and very relatable Titus. Thanks for a another great year.
KJ
Sep 29, 2025
Titus, thank you for another glorious year of footy humour and for balancing all that "serious footy talk" the other journos insist on! As an ex-Victorian now living in the west, it's a delight to read about more than 2 teams each week. Looking forward to more of the same in 2026!
LC
Sep 29, 2025
Back-to-back, baby!
Great job, Lions!!
SO annoyed with the pro-VIC media coverage and, of course, BT's ridiculousness.
Here's to a weird year of football, can't wait for 2026!
RG
Sep 29, 2025
Careful Titus, self deprication can make you go blind.
fitzroy forever
Sep 29, 2025
thanks for the great comments this season. enjoy the ashes series , looking forward to season 2026.
Son of Plugger
Sep 29, 2025
Just a word of thanks, Titus--Thanks for another great year of knee jerk reactions. You did miss a couple of rounds due to hamstring awareness (I believe), but a terrific season. And saved the best for last. Unlike Geelong.
"Mike Brady was unfrozen from his cryogenic sleep to sing ‘Up There Cazaly'". That was meant to be very confidential, Titus.
Another GF blowout in the end. Was hoping, now that Sydney have been banned from playing in GFs until further notice, something a bit closer.
In the 26 year modern Top 8 AFL era, all but two of the flags have been won by the Top 3 minor round teams. And the 4th ranked team has won precisely ZERO. So here's my new suggestion for a revamped AFL finals round:
Top 3 qualify for the finals.
No Bye before finals
Week 1: Qualifying final: 2 vs 3
Week 2; Grand Final: 1 vs winner of 2 vs 3
It's the best way to ensure more competitive grand finals.
In any case, congrats to Stewie Dew and the rest of The Lions' coaching and support staff. And the players too.
Verna Wellington
Sep 29, 2025
Thank you for your entertaining resumes each week. Thoroughly look forward to them. Enjoy the footy break and GO DEES 2026 ❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙
the g train
Sep 29, 2025
Agree with everything your wrote, Titus. Everything.
But it's what you didn't say that baffled me.
Nothing about the opening bounce of the AFL GF. Imagine the overwhelming pressure on the umpire doing the opening bounce to start the world's premier sporting event. For this GF it was 11/10. Beyond perfection. The umps only get referenced when they make a so called error. I can't recall a single centre bounce that wasn't high class. Unlike Geelong, they held their form for the whole game.
You even wrote, Titus: "There were errors galore , but a lot of them were because there was no time".
But there were no errors from the umps and they had have even less time.
The umps only made 5 significant errors across 216 games of footy in 2025. That's an impressive stat. Some very good players make 5 clangers in a single game. Yeah, let that sink in.
Terrific end to the season, Titus. Seeya next season.
Ps "The man stopped talking to me.". At least he started talking to you......that's gotta count for something.
Richmondpommy
Sep 29, 2025
What a barren few months facing us
Thanks again
John Allison
Sep 29, 2025
It's that dreadful time of the year when we suddenly realise the footy season has come to an end an now we must endure months of hyped up horse racing, dreary cricket, and dozens of cantankerous, overpaid tennis playing divas.
PC
Sep 29, 2025
Do you think Stanley might ask Scott in his end of season interview, why do you think I'm a bigger liability than a bloke with one arm? Or maybe he won't.
Hobart Jack
Sep 29, 2025
Well I was disappointed in the entertainment, expecting a bloke called “Sloop John B” to do at LEAST one Beach Boys tune. But forget all that, the players, the umpies, the commentators, this was a fantastic result for a good decent bloke in Grant Fagan. Move over Boonie, your spot has been taken.
WA Bogan
Sep 29, 2025
Thanks for all the laughs this year Titus.
I think a lot of the Cats took Snoop Dogg's "drop it like it's hot" song too much to heart.
Has there ever been a family so victimised as the Scott's? Must have been hell at Sunday family dinners - "now boys, who had the toughest week this week"?
I also think it's about time to bring in relegation, with, say, the bottom two teams in the Men's league being replaced by the top two teams in the Women's league (yes, I realise that it will no longer be AFL and AFLW). Surely, the AFLW Roos could beat the AFL Eagles but, if not, it would certainly be more entertaining.
Hawks D Lions in 2026 GF ... mark my words
Vic Parkes
Sep 29, 2025
Watched the game live, with BT and his halfwit mates, then watched it with Fox commentary team to find out what really happened. Except Anthony Hudson who really belongs with BT. Thanks for the near-year Titus. Looking forward to next year already.
Lindy
Sep 29, 2025
Love your work Titus. You are right, the finals loss gave us all the learnings we needed. So proud! 🏆🏆🦁
Windy Hill
Sep 29, 2025
Thank you so much for your column, Titus. As a long suffering Bomber's fan, it was the one ray of sunshine in yet another dismal season for those of us who continue to bang our red and black, beanie clad heads against never-ending brick walls. Maybe I should follow Sam Draper to the Lions. They know how to play footy up north. And it certainly worked for Joe Daniher's groin.
Woody
Sep 29, 2025
I also thank you Titus, for this years' mixtures of outlandish humour and subtlety that make our Mondays a little easier to bear. Roll on 2026 for more of the same
Barry Zanotti
Sep 29, 2025
I'm not surprised that Chris Scott doesn't like the sub rule. It's quite apparent that he doesn't understand how it's meant to work.
Brett Carter
Sep 29, 2025
I hate football. It's a silly game that no one should be interested in. My team getting thrashed has got nothing to do with this opinion!
Trintheus
Sep 29, 2025
The G Train - love your work. As a former suburban/country/interstate umpire with 500+ games under my belt (which is getting tighter each year!), it's nice to see the umps acknowledged.
Anthony Browne
Sep 29, 2025
Nice year Titus. Next year, Carlton v MelbouGF although you might be sad after the event. Alcohol consoles all.
Enjoy the break with only the draft, Collingwood players drunk and arrested in Bali, acl's in pre season training, useless practice games and false hope before the 2026 season.
Trintheus
Sep 29, 2025
Sadly, I watched the pre-game panel discussion. Took me a while to realise that the host was Rebecca Maddern. Perhaps Cameron Ling could do with some of Bec's injectables? IYKYK.
Straight Up The Guts
Sep 29, 2025
Thanks Titus. Another year of not really telling us much but somehow highly amusing. I think there'll be a few changes next year. Geelong won’t play as bad but Brisbane will win again. Slipknot will entertain us , MCC crew will love them. Nick Daicos to come 3rd in the Brownlow behind joint winners Andrew Harris & Rhett Bazzo. Andrew Dillon to admit he’s a bit lost in Gil’s old office and the umpy’s promise to stop guessing when blowing the whistle. Finally watch out for St.Kilda, they’re eyeing off 11th spot.
Mick the Lions Fan
Sep 29, 2025
Enjoyed your work all year Titus with the analyses, the podcasts and your radio stuff. Deliriously pleased with the GF result obviously. When Rayner tackled Bailey Smith so hard that his hair band fell off I pictured a certain journalist /photographer punching the air and yelling “Yessss!!”
Fat Side
Sep 29, 2025
I expect we'll soon see Chris Fagan and Lachie Neale in Subway ads for "the premiership sub" - a foot-long with a secret ingredient that everybody knows about beforehand, which is a game-changer, which may appear at any time and which is probably strictly outside the spirit of the food regulations.
Thanks Titus, and all contributors, for making what seems to have been a fairly dreary year of football way more enjoyable.
Interested 3rd party
Sep 29, 2025
Puzzling to see Joel Selwood leave the ground without an umpire rushing over to give him a free. A credit to them for overcoming such an ingrained reflex.
And BTW I loved the Snoop Dog review. Accurate plus funny. I've pasted it into a discussion my family were having about the pre-match stuff.
Conway Savage
Sep 29, 2025
Love your work, Titus. Thank you for a great year of getting me up off the canvas on Monday mornings.
Conway Savage
Sep 29, 2025
Love your work, Titus. Thank you for a great year of getting me up off the canvas on Monday mornings.
PattayaProwling
Sep 29, 2025
Thanks from Thailand Titus. The only footy news worth reading each week.
DON FRANCISCO'S SISTER
Sep 29, 2025
"Enjoy the break with only the draft, Collingwood players drunk and arrested in Bali, acl's in pre season training, useless practice games and false hope before the 2026 season." Well said.
My final comment on Season 2025: Anything that involves a Scott brother being humiliated must be good for football.
DON FRANCISCO'S SISTER
Sep 29, 2025
Oh, and remember this: Bailey Smith is a ticking time bomb.
Rooboy
Sep 29, 2025
Thanks Titus. Comedy gold, as usual!
I agree with others that it's a bleak few months ahead with no footy.
OMG Vic Parkes nailed it - whilst I got shafted paying $40 for Kayo, I only realised that $40 isn't so bad when I had to slum it and listen to Cornes et al (except Richo) and their garbage calls and puff-piece TV rhetoric. At one stage I wondered if it was more about Hodge, Cornes etc who had won premierships and "how they felt on the day..." than it was about the actual GF?!
Lex
Sep 30, 2025
Titus your an oasis in this world of lunatics
Hobart Jack
Sep 30, 2025
How dare W A Bogan suggest my team - the once-mighty Eagles - be relegated, we win one every 12 years on average so roll on 2030. As for mixed-gender, if both parents are playing, who cooks the weekend roast?
PENGUIN
Oct 01, 2025
Just thank you. Have a great off season and come back strong next year.