Oct 12, 2020
The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Finals Week Two
Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.
On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.
What you really want is idiotic hysteria.
You’ve come to the right place.
Richmond (80) v St Kilda (49)
Where week one had a plethora of great, close games, week two delivered us rubbish.
This game could have been close, but the Saints kicked for goal as if their sole aim was to give as many St Kilda fans heart attacks as possible.
When they weren’t butchering easy shots, they were having them taken away by the ARC.
That’s the wonderful thing about the ARC, it can deliver incorrect decisions, but unlike the umpires, it takes a lot longer. What a great system.
Richmond was not exactly in world-beating form in this, they took their opportunities, which St Kilda didn’t, but if the Saints had been accurate, this could have been very different, amazing considering Ryder, Carlisle and Long weren’t playing.
Adding to Richmond’s slightly off night, Tom Lynch continued to, well, just be weird.
He dropped his knee into Saints defender Dougal Howard while Howard was on the ground, which while not exactly brutal, was just stupid, cheap and totally unnecessary.
It wasn’t tough, it was cowardly. Damien Hardwick said afterwards ‘The fact of the matter is it’s a big boys game,” which was both inane and incorrect. A ‘real man’ if that’s still a thing these days, doesn’t drop a knee into someone who is defenceless on the ground.
The most annoying thing is Lynch doesn’t need to do it, he can play tough, crashing packs and legally bumping people, this stuff is as necessary as playing board games at a dinner party.
But while St Kilda can be pleased with their season and should be proud, they have built a platform for future success, Richmond’s season is very much alive.
Shai Bolton has grown this year and the Tigers have not touched their ceiling yet if they can just lift slightly over the next two games, another Premiership is very much within their grasp.
If they do win, the Victorian Government should consider letting tattoo parlours open for just a couple of days, they’d make up their lost income in 48 hours.
Geelong (100) v Collingwood (32)
Reviewing this game is a bit like reviewing a monster truck driving over a Suzuki Swift, there’s not a lot to really say. To call it a contest would be doing a grave disservice to the word.
It was basically a demolition on prime-time television that should have come with a viewer warning.
It was so one-sided, that if I was a nicer person, I’d have felt sorry for Pies fans.
Instead, I was just disappointed Channel Seven didn’t show us enough images of Eddie McGuire, it seems when the Pies are winning, they cross to him so often it’s basically a feed of Eddie occasionally interspersed with moments of football.
Geelong seemed determined to prove they can stand up in a final, while the Pies didn’t seem determined about anything.
Collingwood’s high point was running onto the ground, but that was the extent of their efforts on the night. In hindsight, it was amazing they did that and it would have been better if they had got lost Spinal Tap style in the bowels of the Gabba.
The Pies were comprehensively smashed in every part of the game imaginable and some that aren’t.
Patrick Dangerfield dominated up forward, and Tom Hawkins bounced back from a terrible performance last week, kicking accurately and managing to not belt anyone.
It was over so early, and you could see the Pies players looking at each other in dismay in the first quarter, knowing what was coming was going to hurt worse than reading people debate an issue on Twitter.
The Cats would be feeling good about this performance, but it’s hard to really judge where you’re at when you push against what you think is a locked door and instead the whole house collapses immediately.
You’d like to think you were really strong, but it may be the structural integrity of the house wasn’t quite up to standard.
That all said, the Cats couldn’t have done any more, they brought the intensity, it wasn’t their fault their opponent had already gone on their end of season trip.
My new book Cheat: The Not-so-subtle Art of Conning Your Way to Sporting Glory is now available for pre-order.
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