Sep 25, 2023
The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: AFL Preliminary Finals
On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.
What you really want is idiotic hysteria.
You've come to the right place.
Collingwood (58) v Greater Western Sydney (57)
There was pressure, tension, yelling, anger, sweating, disappointment and in the end relief it was over.
Yep, Friday night’s game felt like a first date alright.
It was a footballing equivalent of a free-for-all all, in that the umpires went missing, and the two sides just slogged it out.
97,665 people turned up for this, with Pies fans probably having the edge in terms of numbers.
They were thrilled to see Jordan De Goey creating the sort of chaos he usually reserves for a Bali nightclub.
The Giants however had Toby Greene who can always match anyone’s level of intensity.
They also have Tom Green, and I had the pleasure of listening to someone at the game realise in real time that there are two players with the same sounding surname on the Giants, not one player who must be the greatest player who ever lived.
Yet despite the Pies bringing the pressure, it was the Giants who got out to a 17-point lead early in the third term.
The noise from the Giants fans at the stadium was almost audible, and the Pies fans began to get very nervous.
Yet the Orange Tsunami was more a king tide, it was intense but manageable, and with the relentless of the Terminator, the Pies came back.
At the 19-minute mark of the last quarter, Jesse Hogan booted a goal to make it a one-point game.
What followed was six minutes and 18 seconds of intensity, as neither side scored a solitary point.
The noise in the stadium was so loud you could feel it, and I nervously made a note of the exits.
A Steele Sidebottom grab on the line of a Toby Greene shot on goal summed up the night, it was a game of inches, and when it finished the Giants had come up just short.
Collingwood are in the Grand Final, and luckily there are heaps of tickets for everyone.
Brisbane (79) v Carlton (63)
There was a moment in the first quarter when every Carlton fan under 30 years old experienced the most happiness they have ever felt.
The Blues had put the first five goals on the board, and the Lions looked like a group of people unfamiliar with the sport.
Harris Andrews was arguably the one Lions player trying to stop the momentum, as the Lions midfield fumbled the ball, missed handballs, and kicked the ball to the point of least advantage.
By quarter time, Chris Fagan must have wondered who had replaced his players with the winners of ‘Australia’s Most Uncoordinated People’.
The problem for the Blues was the remaining three quarters, which proved to be problematic for them.
The Lions could not have played worse in the first quarter, all they needed to do was stop self-sabotaging like me in a relationship.
Slowly the Lions midfield remembered how to play footy, and soon the Lions were back on equal terms before building up a lead.
The Blues never gave up, but the long campaign showed, as did Brisbane’s experience.
Carlton fans should go into summer very happy, they won two, despite Charlie Curnow not playing.
The Lions fans can now turn to next week, hoping their team doesn’t forget to play an entire quarter next week.
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This week’s Sports Bizarre episode is The America’s Cup: Part Six and tomorrow an interview with John Bertrand, available wherever you get your podcasts.