Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.
On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.
What you really want is idiotic hysteria.
You’ve come to the right place.
Friday
Geelong (88) v West Coast (68)
Geelong were desperate to change their record in finals but interfering with Willie Rioli’s drug test seemed excessive.
Still, the results, or the lack of, speak for themselves.
The Cats came out swinging in the words and actions of Tom Hawkins, who decided decking Will Schofield was a good move a week out from the Preliminary final.
It was silly and now Tom will miss the Cats’ loss to Richmond.
Apart from that, Geelong recaptured some of their early season form that saw them leap to the top of the ladder and pretty much stay there despite their late season wobbles.
West Coast seemed distracted early on, with Jack Darling fumbling an easy mark like he’d never played footy before, as did Jeremy McGovern. If a quarter had theme music, the Eagles’ would have been the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme.
By the second quarter the Eagles seemed to remember how to play footy and for the middle two quarters actually looked like running over the Cats.
Geelong to their full credit decided not to bottle this one, and their fourth quarter was so dominant it made it seem like the Eagles had decided to leave early to catch their flight.
The game was the perfect summation of West Coast’s season. Half the time they appeared the dominant reigning premiers they are; the rest of the time they made you wonder how they ever won a premiership.
As for Geelong, they were helped by Joel Selwood turning in a vintage performance with 26 disposals, numerous high free kicks, a goal and facial bleeding.
It was needed, with Patrick Dangerfield missing the game.
Brisbane (80) v Greater Western Sydney (83)
Leon Cameron should send the AFL Tribunal the biggest bunch of flowers money can buy.
Their decision to fine Toby Greene for trying to tear out Marcus Bontempelli’s eyes, rather than suspend him, turned out to be the massive favour everyone knew at the time it was.
Greene finished with 30 disposals and kicked two goals, while also appearing to put his hand in Lachie Neale’s eyes.
For that, he should be suspended, for pure stupidity if nothing else.
The Giants, who have meekly gone out of the finals in the past, have obviously decided to take a page from the unsociable Hawks playbook, spending the night niggling their opponents.
Adam Kennedy and Heath Shaw spent time focusing on Charlie Cameron's injured elbow and Aidan Corr's shot to Jarrod Berry's head wasn’t a good look.
Brisbane didn’t back away either, with Nick Robertson giving Lachie Whitfield’s sore back a gentle massage that weirdly didn’t seem to be appreciated.
The constant niggle threatened to spin out of control regularly, and the umpires responded by acting like they were being paid for each free kick they awarded.
This was probably the first game of the Finals that felt like a final. Both teams through everything at it with no thought of tomorrow. It was physical, with moments of great skill and drama.
It could have gone either way, but the Giants seemed to have learnt from their mistakes in previous finals campaigns. They had the steel when it mattered, and the legalisation of eye gouging to thank.
After the game Luke Hodge announced his retirement. Hodge has had the footy career everyone dreams of, except for all those Hawthorn premierships.
Titus is touring around the country in the upcoming months, visiting Hobart and Brisbane. Tickets available here: http://www.frontiercomedy.com/titusoreily
Titus’ new book Please, Gamble Irresponsibly: The rise, fall and rise of sports gambling in Australia will be out on 5th November 2019. You can pre-order it now.
COMMENTS
Mikey
Sep 16, 2019
Thank god that’s over - I can relax now.
When’s the trade period?
Stu
Sep 16, 2019
Perfect summary of Cats Eagles game (and the season). The telling point was that even when the Eagles were dominating, Cats were still playing well.
Sat nights game was a great watch, although deflating to see Lions go out in straight sets
Steve
Sep 16, 2019
You forgot the part where the ever insightful Channel Seven commentary team spent the best part of three quarters whining about the umpires instead of calling the game.
Too hot
Sep 16, 2019
Bit harsh on Dangerfield there. It was Ablett that missed the game. He should be disappointed with how he went in his final match, there are tackle bags with more spine than his performance
Frosty of Collingwood
Sep 16, 2019
Switching between the footy and the cricket, I began to wonder if Toby Greene had shares in Specsavers.
Dane
Sep 16, 2019
*threw everything at it
Mike
Sep 16, 2019
Hodgie let the team down, he had nothing to loose so why is Greene still walking?
Ben Haycroft
Sep 16, 2019
thanks for a good year Titus, Lions overachieved so i am happy. not sure i can watch any more games being umpired like that this season (both semi-finals) Green should be suspended for life, but was all know he will just get a fine. AFL makes me tired, i think i will petition for a 12 month big bash season... wait, what?
BLOKE FROM THE OUTER
Sep 16, 2019
TOO HOT. Spot on. I was at the game and Ablett was terrible whilst Dangerfield stood up in the last quarter when he was needed.
MIKE. I wondered the same myself.
Rhys Mc
Sep 16, 2019
The ever insightful Seven Commentary team were right on the ball in Brisbane. As a GWS supporter it was a revelation to be told that most of my team are now Irish !
Obviously, in their spare moments they must have scanned the playing list of the 'Footy Record' to come to this conclusion.
Actually, only one player on the list is Irish - Connor Idun, who debuted during this season.
Aiden Corr's family emigrated to Australia when he was 3 years old - does that really count?
Josh Kelly was included because of the derivation of his name, I suppose.
The real clanger was Daniel Lloyd (obviously an Irish-Welshman). Perhaps it was because he came to the AFL through the Killarney Vale AFC.
In fact, Killarney Vale is not in Eire ! Killarney Vale is a suburb on the NSW Central Coast, approximately 85km north of Sydney. It was also the club of origin of those other Irish lads who played for Sydney, Mark & Jarrod Mc Veigh.
It may be time for the Seven Team to do a tad more research, before a game, rather than engaging in idle and ill-informed speculation.
2ndeffort
Sep 16, 2019
Bored with all these meaningless games filling in the gap between the end of the season and trade week. They’re OK to watch if you don’t have Netflix but I can’t wait for the real stuff to begin in a couple of weeks time
Pope Paul VII
Sep 16, 2019
Hey RHYS MC you might score an Irish contract at Brissie.
They have
McStay
McCluggage
McInerney
McCarthy
McFadyen
SouthWestCoaster
Sep 17, 2019
Now that it’s 4 days (and the loss of a entire post-premiership season ) it’s ok for me to fess up that it was I that elbowed Big Willie Rioli aside (he’s 2.768cm taller than me) and volunteered to do his ASADA training AND also volunteered to do his test on that fateful day..... in hindsight it probably wasn’t the best of options or actions for I’ve had 4 kidney stones with 2 dodgy extractions (one resulting in a golden staphylococcal infection that nearly killed me by sweating out 9 kg in 4 days) and countless hours and hours staring at Little Willie with the shower running over me. Big tip for first time players - after they give you the general anaesthetic and slide the trombone up the todger with ultrasound breaker attachment and camera they pull back on the trigger and it leaves a “special wire” in situ for a couple of days. And then the anaesthetic wears off leaving you feeling like you have worked over all of Athens in a day (about circa 850BC).
So standing there at the cup for Big Willie I just could not get Little Willie to downspout.... my apologies to everyone as I thought that I was doing the honourable thing in standing in for Big Willie. He was a busy man doing training, traveling, having a family life, watching old AFL tapes, Instagramming and avoiding mandatory sit down lectures.
I think that he has the time available now to attend to all matters that pertain to a professional AFL career.....
No apologies to Gatorade though..... how could they make something looks like piss, smells like piss, and tastes like piss but NOT be piss? Where’s their corporate responsibility to honest packaging and marketing?
When does the trade season start? Just have to get through the next few weeks of Toby Greene, the Ch 7 commentary team and Collingwood before I can properly rest..... Is there really no one else in the entire world of professional afl commentators than Brian and that woeful excuse of a Richmond board-backed vastly over-rated full forward in the shittiest Richmond period over the past 40 years than “rather than ask a question I will put as many compliments and potential answers into a comment and call it a question” Richardson? He leads the witness every time he’s on camera so much so that if he was Cardinal Pell they wouldn’t allow him anywhere near the witnesses for fear of repeat offending. Spend some money Ch 7 and TRAIN someone who has an inkling regarding research and objectivity. In fact, train 4-7 of them and replace the whole lot....except Bruce. Bruce might fail a Locus Of Limpid Loquacity Test but at least he’s objectively enthusiastic. He just loves the prospect of everyone matching up on everyone!! Which may well speak to his voyeuristic tendencies rather than his love of the contest of sport.
How many days until Season 2020 kicks off...?
Thanks Titus.
MaxPowa
Sep 17, 2019
Is this VFL rubbish still going on? Who cares! Oldest and best league (SANFL) is setup for a massive GF this weekend, Tigers vs Pies, a match-up which the convict victorians (just like with our Grand Prix) will no doubt copy/steal the week after. Carn Port
For Granted
Sep 18, 2019
All that's left for me is to hope that West Coast's best player in 2020, Tim Kelly, doesn't pick up an injury.
Bozza
Sep 21, 2019
Where's that peanut Mad Dogg!?! Your beloved Eagles are done mate, hopeless