Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spreadsheet-dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You've come to the right place.

Thursday

Adelaide (55) v Collingwood (79)

Adelaide sort of returned to finals for the first time since 2017, and it would be fair to say they were very rusty.

Probably the most glaring problem was the decision to kick the ball to Darcy Moore every time they went forward.

It confused me so much as a strategy that I googled, ‘Does Darcy Moore play for Adelaide?’ during the game.

Google informed me he doesn’t, but the Crows players didn’t seem to know this.

With the Crows butchering any move forward, the Pies responded with seven consecutive goals either side of half-time.

With not much happening for them on the field, some of the Crows fans took to booing Isaac Quaynor.

Quaynor’s crime of course was being on called a slur that would get you sacked in most workplaces.

In the AFL it gets you a trip to Italy.

It was disappointing, especially there are plenty of good reasons to boo Collingwood.

Add to that, the Crows would have lost this even with Rankine. They were poor all round.

Playing the victim as a club all week has not helped them.

The Crows are going need a complete mental reset if they’re going to make it past next week.

Friday

Geelong (112) v Brisbane (74)

It probably tells you all you need to know about this game, that Brisbane’s only real highlight was when the umpires gave them back-to-back goals from free kicks.

With Geelong well in control, Cam Rayner flopped in a display so dramatic it would have been seen as overly theatrical even on Broadway. 

Then, despite the umpires showing they were in a mood to hand out ridiculous frees, Zach Guthrie decided to shoulder Rayner from behind.

It was a silly decision, especially given Rayner seems to have the balance of a toddler.

Yet even these two goals couldn’t put the momentum in the Lions favour.

Brisbane looked tired, and soon, they were injured.

Lachie Neale is now out for the foreseeable future with a calf injury, Hugh McCluggage has a sore knee and Eric Hipwood, who didn’t play, is now out for the season.

Hipwood went in for a scan relating to a calf injury, only to discover a partial ACL tear.

It’s a bit like going to the mechanics to get an oil change and discovering you need a new motor.

The good news is we all get to see Geelong in a Preliminary Final!

Such a rare event, like seeing a unicorn.

Saturday

Greater Western Sydney (88) v Hawthorn (107)

If you love drama, this provided Real Housewives levels, as two of the more exciting teams in the competition put on a show.

The Giants came out strong early but couldn’t make it count before the Hawks got going.

When they did, they were brutally efficient, converting up forward to the tune of seven goals in the first quarter.

The procession continued in the second and third quarters, in which the Hawks got out to a 42-point lead midway through the third quarter.

I was watching at the Sorrento Hotel, which is on brand for a Melbourne supporter, and it was full of Hawthorn fans feeling very happy about being Hawthorn fans.

And yes, I know that’s their default state.

Then the Giants woke up and got moving. Here came a goal, then another, and now a third.

The mood in the front bar of the Sorrento Hotel got a bit real. I tried not to let my squeals of excitement get too loud.

Then came a fourth, fifth and sixth goal to the Giants.

There was a goal in it at three quarter time. ‘What a wonderful day,’ I thought.

The Hawks fans looked dazed and confused. It was really great.

But credit where credit is due, the Hawks steadied. Under pressure they didn’t lose their heads.

The Orange Tsunami turned out to be nothing worse than the waves gently crashing outside the window on the foreshore.

That Hawks were home safe.

In a nice gesture, a Hawks fan I’d never met bought me a drink.

“I was hoping you’d win,’ I said as we clinked glasses.

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Fremantle (79) v Gold Coast (80)

Fremantle fans don’t ask for much, which is lucky because their team doesn’t give them much.

At home, against a club that’s never even played in a final, this should have been a win, but the Dockers don’t really do easy.

What they do is make things as painful as possible for their supporters.

Four goals in a row saw them six-points up with 3:21 to play.

The lead was theirs; the momentum was theirs.

“Oh no,” thought their fans.

So of course, Suns DEFENDER Mac Andrew then took a big mark and kicked a goal.

Then, David Swallow, the first player the Suns ever drafted, who I thought retired several years ago, marked, and kicked the deciding point.

It was just his fourth disposal of the game.

This was pure Fremantle, and their fans knew it.

Now the Suns face the injured Lions, in what I believe is the biggest final to ever be played between two Queensland teams.

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