Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise. 

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You've come to the right place.

Thursday

Geelong (102) v St Kilda (75)

The Saints went down to Geelong with high hopes they could win there for the first time since 1999, back when Bary Hall was a menacing presence in the forward line.

The Cats were vulnerable, having so many injuries they were forced to make seven changes during the week.

This being Geelong, they of course found a new talent in Jay Polkinghorne and got the job done with relative ease.

The downside was further injuries, with a serious ankle injury to Max Holmes and Shaun Mannagh suffered the dreaded hamstring awareness.

It was a disappointing night for the Saints, who seemed destined for a much better season than they’ve delivered.

Ross Lyon went searching for positives and came up with Max King, who he said could, possibly, almost certainly, play against North, ‘if he gets through the week’

The phrase, ‘If he gets through the week’ is a fair old caveat.

It’s like saying I’d have lots of friends, ‘if my personality completely changes.’ 

This week’s Sport Bizarre podcast looks at FIFA President Gianni Infantino and his rise to power.

Friday

Sydney (71) v Adelaide (87)

Earlier in the year, people said of the Crows, ‘you know, they’re not that bad.’

Then it was, ‘they’re actually a good side.’

What will people say now that they beat the Swans at the SCG and sit fifth on the ladder?

I imagine they’ll say that this is the most excited Crows fans have been since Maggie Beer released her delightful Raspberry & Pomegranate Cordial.

Winning at the SCG is no small matter, the Swans were undefeated there this season.

Turns out the way to beat the Swans is to apply an unbelievable amount of pressure. Not easy to do but that will be the plan of every team who plays them.

Ben Keays continued his war with goal umpires, denied a goal again until a video review. If only they’d done that a few years ago.

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Saturday

Port Adelaide (75) v Fremantle (103)

The Dockers gave the Power a fair head start on Saturday, trailing by two goals at halftime.

It was a surprising start, given Port had 13 players out through injury.

Those missing included Connor Rozee, Zak Butters, Mitch Georgiades and Jason Horne-Francis, who was suspended.

All year however, the Dockers have been able to find another gear when required, after half time they booted five goals in 13 minutes.

The Dockers trick in this game was not letting Port win all the clearances.

Turns out that makes a fair difference in a game of footy. Who knew?

North Melbourne (76) v Melbourne (92)

A game Melbourne should win at Marvel Stadium.

Fair to say, I speak for all Demons supporters when I say I was terrified.

Down by 25-points and those fears were being realised.

Luckily, for this Dees side, they were playing North.

The Kangaroos skills were terrible, wasting a heap of chances when entering their forward fifty.

They were even helped by Daniel Turner and Changkuoth Jiath both going off injured.

Turner copped two accidental hits to his ribs from teammates. What did he do? Miss a shout?

Collingwood (90) v Carlton (69)

Reality is slowly creeping back in at Carlton, as the pressure the Pies put on led to the Blues reverting to the skill level we saw at their preseason training.

Things didn’t get off to a good start when Harry McKay was forced off after a collision with Sam Walsh.

Surprisingly, McKay wasn’t able to push through the pain.

The Pies not only applied more pressure, but they also had more class up forward.

They also had Darcy Cameron dominating in the ruck, continuing his strong form after he accidentally won the Copeland Trophy last year.

How good are Collingwood? They’ve won their past five, but when you look at the teams, they’ve beaten Port, Richmond, Gold Coast, North Melbourne and now Carlton.

They get back to reality next week, taking on the Crows.

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West Coast (69) v Brisbane (93)

It’s possible Harley Reid walked under a ladder or broke a mirror this week.

He injured his ankle in a collision with Noah Answerth, only to then take a fall while on the bench.

Losing a million-dollar player while his on the bench to something other than splinters is a nightmare for any team.

Luckily, he was alright, and he was a big reason the Eagles were up early.

Yet while the Eagles looked good early, they were up against a Lions side that has woken up and is beginning its assault on a third premiership in a row.

The Lions even had the luxury of limiting the minutes of Hugh McCluggage and Dayne Zorko as they return from injury.

It’s happening again, isn’t it?

Sunday

Richmond (52) v Hawthorn (122)

This wasn’t as close as the scoreboard looks, and yes, I’m aware the Hawks won by 70-points.

Richmond are a hard watch.

Their effort is almost as poor as their skills, and their skills are some of the worst I’ve seen since Mark Neeld was coaching Melbourne.

Pair that up with a very good Hawthorn side and you have a match that was the lowlight of my week, and I had dental surgery this week.

At least the dental surgery was over in an hour. This game felt like it went on longer than dry July.

The only negative for Hawthorn is that Mitch Lewis played so well they need to decide whether they should keep him.

This is not a bad problem to have.

Gold Coast (68) v Western Bulldogs (77)

It barely requires mention ever more, but Marcus Bontempelli was the difference in this one.

Every time the Dogs needed a lift, there was the Bont, doing something insanely classy.

The Suns had no such player. They butchered opportunity after opportunity.

The loss means the Suns will probably miss the bloated finals. On no measurement are they are success.

Consider an elegant solution. Take the Gold Coast Suns and move them to Tasmania to become the Devils.

There are so many benefits.

It saves us having an uneven number of teams, the Devils have a bunch of players to build off without years of disrupting the draft and people on the Gold Coast would probably take several years to notice they’d gone. 

The only downside I can see is that Tasmania might not want them.

The Suns were so bad that even Damien Hawrdwick didn’t have the energy to come up with a distraction this week. A worrying first.

Essendon (67) v Greater Western Sydney (64)

It takes a team effort to lose to Essendon, and the Giants had contributors everywhere.

They kicked 8.16, which is unhelpful in a three-point loss.

Last week, the Giants beat Geelong. This week they lost to Essendon.

That’s like hitting a hole in one, then falling into a water hazard and drowning on the next hole.

Adding to their pain was Toby Greene going off with a quad injury.

Essendon fans had a wonderful day, not only winning and lifting themselves off the bottom of the ladder but also watching Jake Stringer boot 0.7.

Sometimes the universe just wants you to be happy.

The Bombers have now won two games in their last 31 games, and it looks like the Sun King James Hird will be back. What a time to be an Essendon supporter.

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