Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise. 

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You've come to the right place.

Thursday

Gold Coast (104) v Hawthorn (96)

What a classic.

This is the way to convert people on the Gold Coast to Australian Rules, by playing exciting games in Darwin.

The Suns got off to a fast start in this one and led by 32 points during the second quarter.

With Hawthorn looking done, they went to their old faithful, ducking in tackles for frees.

It’s a tactic that works for them, especially their small forwards. Jack Ginnivan, Nick Watson and Dylan Moore are all masters of the art.

It’s great to see that when the AFL attempts to do something to prevent head injuries, instead of supporting that, players use it to draw frees.

And I know it’s just not Hawthorn players, but it’s more fun to bag Hawthorn.

The Hawks got back into the game, with frees delivering them a 6.1 return, which is why they do it.

The Suns of the past would have thrown their hands up and stopped after giving up a lead, but they rallied and came back.

Gold Coast looks like a serious football team for the first time ever. Hawthorn and the umpires are both serious scalps.

Friday

Sydney (78) v Carlton (62)

For Carlton fans, it was a result as predictable as it was depressing.

Ahead for most of the game, the Blues just couldn’t put the Swans away.

Not to worry, they were still leading at three-quarter time, and the Swans have struggled to score this year. Actually, to worry.

The last quarter saw the Swans boot five-goals-to-two as once again the Blues forgot there are four quarters. I mean, it’s right there in the name.

Another problem the Blues couldn’t fix was Issac Heeney, who ran amok.

He finished with 38 disposals and 10 clearances, as well as two goals, as the Blues players forgot you’re allowed to tackle him.

One negative for the Swans was Joel Amartey’s incredibly stupid late head high shoulder bump on Jordan Boyd.

It was in the dying moments, and after only getting him back from injury, this was the last thing the Swans needed.

Saturday

Collingwood (78) v Adelaide (68)

Collingwood are going to win a Premiership. It’s inevitable.

They’ve now won eight of their past nine games and the run home is good.

They have thirteen games left, and eleven of those are in Melbourne.

Eight of those are at the MCG, while the other three are at Marvel, and two of those are Collingwood home games. The other is against North.

This is all worth remembering when Collingwood next complain about the ‘massive’ advantages interstate teams get.

Despite the ongoing rain, this was an entertaining game, with the Crows refusing to go away.

The difference was the Pies took their opportunities, and sometimes they made opportunities out of nothing.

Bobby Hill’s goal in the first quarter was an example, as he booted the ball out of the air, on an angle and through the goal at pace, almost landing in the third row.

It was an astounding display of athleticism.

Even I leapt off the couch when I watched it, which is an astounding display of athleticism for me.

Yes, I did pull a hamstring.

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Port Adelaide (39) v Geelong (115)

All Port fans ever wanted was for Ken Hinkley to be shown the door. They thought the grass would be greener on the other side.

It’s a bit like when I dared Cathy Jenkins to break up with me if she was ‘so unhappy’.

Sometimes getting what you want can backfire. Please come back Cathy, I was a fool.

This was less a game and more a chance to injure players.

Patrick Dangerfield, Jack Bowes, Jason Horne-Francis and Lachie Jones all went off with hamstring injuries, followed by Josh Sinn going off with a hip injury.

That all happened before half time.

It turned out the Cats could cover their losses better than the Power could, with Jeremy Cameron kicking seven goals, as the Power seem to focus on not getting more injuries.

Greater Western Sydney (61) v Fremantle (95)

Like marriage, the key to football is not letting your opponent do what they want to do.

In this case, the Dockers didn’t let the Giants get their run off half back going at all.

It was a display of footballing IQ and execution that Freo have lacked for most of the season.

Are things coming together finally for the Dockers?

Shai Bolton seemed to be finding his place, connecting the forwards, and Luke Jackson was much happier as the number one ruckman.

Fremantle are now ninth, not bad for a team that’s been out of form all season.

Even more importantly, this was a win over the Giants, who sit in eighth.

They’ve lost four of their past five games but luckily have Carlton next week.

Western Bulldogs (127) v Essendon (36)

The Bulldogs are performing miracles this season, given their injuries, and the ease at which they brushed aside would have them feeling confident about their future.

The only caveat to that is Essendon applied about as much pressure as a feather landing on you.

Tackling, chasing, harassing, being within several metres of an opponent, these were all things the Essendon players had no interest in.

For a team that’s been rebuilding forever, this is not what you want.

Let’s put Essendon’s rebuild into perspective, it’s been going for about twenty years, depending on where you count it from.

Compared to other engineering feats, it’s a long build.

The Hoover Dam took five years, the Panama Canal took eight and the International Space Station was a twelve-year build.

The Egyptians took twenty years to build the Pyramids, but they had the help of aliens.

Worryingly for Bombers supporters, some builds take a very long time.

The Great Wall of China was continuously being built for 2,300 years.

For Bombers supporters, it feels like this rebuild has been going on that long.

Sunday

Richmond (74) v North Melbourne (78)

When you’ve only won 17 games in your past 117 games, and you haven’t won at the MCG since 2017, a victory is sweet.

Perhaps too sweet, as North fans those kids who have never been allowed sugar, they’re just not used to it.

Suddenly, this is like going to a kid’s birthday and getting all the red cordial and lollies you can consume.

North got lucky in many ways. Despite leading for most of the game, they seemed very keen to give their lead away late, making a series of mistakes but luckily for them the Tigers were just as mistake prone.

After last week’s draw against Brisbane, North fans have now gone a fortnight without losing, and it’s not even the offseason.

Brisbane (88) v Melbourne (99)

Never in doubt. That’s exactly what I thought as I watched the Dees get close, drop away, get close, and drop away and then finally go over the top.

The Lions seemed to have just enough to keep the Dees at bay, until suddenly they didn’t.

Melbourne put the pressure on all game, but as they have done so any times before, couldn’t make that count on the scoreboard.

But this time they didn’t relent, instead they went one further and played a fourth quarter in one of the great upsets of the season.

Max Gawn has been the heart and soul of the Dees for years now, but this recent recovery from a terrible start has been driven by him.

He was everywhere again, and with the game in the balance, he took several key marks to keep the ball in the Dees forward half.

The Lions will be wondering how they let a game they were in control of slip. It’s a simple answer but it was effort.

Like the T-1000, the Dees didn’t stop, they just kept coming. The Lions were a bit more like a robot vacuum that got stuck under a chair.

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West Coast (108) v St Kilda (80)

In the wake of the heartbreaking news of Adam Selwood’s death, it seems a bit silly to really discuss a football game.

But there was a sense that this first win of the season by the Eagles was an attempt by the club and its players to honour one of their own.

Of course, that is but a small thing in the scale of things but wanting to honour the memory of someone who meant a lot is the most human of things, and that’s all footy is, a community of people, all connected, all with a shared love and all reeling together at how difficult this life can be.

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