If you haven’t paid a lot of attention to the AFL this season or worse, aren’t interested in football (what’s wrong with you? Seriously, do you hate fun?), here’s some helpful things to say to appear knowledgeable.
- I thought Hawthorn weren’t going to wear their awful jumper today
- So all these Eagles players are on drugs? Wasn’t that in the paper? Really? A decade ago? So not these guys? Oh.
- You just get the feeling the next goal is important
- Luke Hodge seems like a top bloke
- Does anyone know the name of that Eagles player?
- These umpires are terrible. (Best to wait for the game to start with this one but it’s not essential)
- These commentators are terrible. (No need to wait for the game to start)
- Did you see Nat Fyfe’s Brownlow speech? It was amazing. He formed full sentences and everything
- It’s the possessions Cyril doesn’t get that makes him the best
- The (insert losing teams name) need to get some handball receives going or something
- Who’s Bryan Adams?
- Who’s Ellie Goulding?
- Why is Chris Isaak a judge on X Factor? Has he got money troubles?
- Is that Wayne Carey? Someone’s hired him and put him on TV? What about all that stuff?
- Is incorrect disposal even a thing anymore?
- Have they told us what Bruce is watching on Presto yet? Is it Shawshank Redemption? They almost all choose Shawshank.
- The fact we’re made to have a preference between the Hawks or the Eagles proves there is no god
- Jarryd Hayne’s been good today.
COMMENTS
Brandon Ward
Oct 02, 2015
Anthony Sproule banter at its best
Neil Belza
Oct 02, 2015
Tom Fisher Fraser Nelson Jack Genesin little research before tomorrow
Melinda Cain
Oct 02, 2015
Scott Cain be prepared for a few of these tomorrow!!! Haha! Titus gold as usual!!
Kyle Summers
Oct 02, 2015
Aaron Ilsley John Munn "Luke Hodge seems like a top bloke" U0001f602
Vivienne Osborn
Oct 02, 2015
Sam, Adam "Luke Hodge seems a top bloke"
Brendan Scoble
Oct 02, 2015
The last 4 points...
Jacob Arnel
Oct 02, 2015
Missing the most important thing to say
#anyonebuthawthorn
Bram Hanson
Oct 02, 2015
What are you watching on Presto though?
Scott Cain
Oct 02, 2015
Haha! Never let's ya down,lol.
Bonjour_Pippy
Oct 02, 2015
TitusOReily So accurate, what a summation. As nervous as I am will stay in my head tomorrow Ha ha!
Zackery Zilm
Oct 02, 2015
Rhysie Darwin check out this banter
Blair Boyle
Oct 02, 2015
The second last one and the Cyril one are the best.
Andrew Jacobs
Oct 02, 2015
Jarryd Hayne a monty for the Norm Smith...
Matthew Bruce Herbert
Oct 02, 2015
It's the deliciousness that Rioli doesn't demonstrate that makes him so delicious
Richie Spencer
Oct 02, 2015
James Wooldridge, the last point U0001f602
Angus McWhirter
Oct 02, 2015
Evan Woods read up mate
Michael P. Moodie
Oct 02, 2015
The fact we’re made to have a preference between the Hawks or the Eagles proves there is no god
Sheriff Rosco
Hannah Barry
Oct 02, 2015
Kirsty Symmons we'll keep informed
Blake Grey
Oct 02, 2015
Chris Bellman haha "it's the possessions Cyril doesn't get that makes him the best"
g_buoyup
Oct 02, 2015
That one day in October.
Kirsty Symmons
Oct 02, 2015
Hahha that will be me
Hannah Barry
Oct 02, 2015
"The fact we’re made to have a preference between the Hawks or the Eagles proves there is no god" literally me
Glenn Hay
Oct 02, 2015
Rosie Hay Nat Oliver Alison McPherson Ferrier here are some tips if you feel the need to converse with the men tomorrow
Tom Armstrong
Oct 02, 2015
Also Max Broden
Luke Padley
Oct 02, 2015
Very helpful but no mention of a danger man.
Rebecca Nicholson
Oct 02, 2015
Shawshank Redemption - gold! What is it with blokes and that movie? Karen Heidtmann
David Jenkins
Oct 02, 2015
Love your work Titus
Alison McPherson Ferrier
Oct 02, 2015
Lol, like any of us have struggled to find something to say
Tahmeika Napier
Oct 02, 2015
Jake Napier haha perfect!! We are set!!! Doug Muller
Nat Oliver
Oct 02, 2015
Is talking allowed while watching football? What about singing?
Darren Webb
Oct 02, 2015
Either Hayden or dermie.
AlbertonPower
Oct 02, 2015
TitusOReily Got a mate who knows a bloke, Dangerfield WILL end up at Geelong.
Catherine Stewart
Oct 02, 2015
Sarah Stewart you'll appreciate a few of these.
Glenn Hay
Oct 02, 2015
48 hour ban on singing at the completion of the game
Jackson Alexander Woodward
Oct 02, 2015
Nick Pincott Jarryd Hayne has been good today
Jenna Davidson
Oct 02, 2015
Amber Allen our game for tomorrow
Nathan Hanrahan
Oct 02, 2015
"There's no next week"
akc1973
Oct 02, 2015
TitusOReily 'It’s the possessions Cyril doesn’t get that makes him the best' - pure gold!!
Darcy Kraljev
Oct 02, 2015
Nick Funnell Billy Brigham Christos Karykis just need "Full credit to the boys"
Ian Burgess
Oct 02, 2015
Dermie is due a big match. Been quiet for a while!
Brad Minchin
Oct 02, 2015
How dare u.
Michael Charlton
Oct 02, 2015
The jarryd Hayne one lol
Tess Plakakis
Oct 02, 2015
Caitlin Manea us
Christos Karykis
Oct 02, 2015
HAHAHAHAHAHA YES GOLD!!!!
Darcy Kraljev
Oct 02, 2015
I plan on using most of these
Mitch Fenwick
Oct 02, 2015
I hope Jarryd Hane plays well tomorrow
Malcolm Makkinga
Oct 02, 2015
It's also things other teams' fans can say to appear interested.
Grace Ellen
Oct 02, 2015
Allison Wallace - brush up on these for today
Dion Hawkes
Oct 02, 2015
Jarrad Haynes been goodU0001f44c
Anton Kolliner
Oct 02, 2015
Timothy Alexander Black see dot point 4
Shane Peck
Oct 02, 2015
"Listen to Shane"
Jacob Arnel
Oct 02, 2015
Bree considering the fact I'm a collingwood supporter they would be my first preference
Raff Scarfo
Oct 02, 2015
Lol it's the possessiona Cyril doesn't get that make Cyril the best lol
Dave Thompson
Oct 02, 2015
Joel Lithgow - some handy pointers
Caity Merritt
Oct 02, 2015
Hahaha I'll definitely be needing this today!
Wayne Ogston
Oct 02, 2015
Wheres the streaker!
Madeleine O'Connor
Oct 02, 2015
hahaha yesss. but wheres "go you little aboriginal man" or whatever i said haha :')
Dion Lea
Oct 03, 2015
You'd love that cyril one
Kat Brown
Oct 03, 2015
Thanks mate. This will come in very handy this arvo. Especially now that Judd character has gone
Ricky Welsh
Oct 03, 2015
Thankyou...
This is necessary
Travis Whelan
Oct 03, 2015
Jack Naughton Timothy Peter Saveneh Tim Ling Chris Broderick Matt Whelan
MacHawk
Oct 07, 2015
Great giggle !!