Dear Mean People on Twitter

Boy am I mad!

It took me a good two hours on the phone to mummy just to be able to compose myself and write this.

Why am I so mad? Because you guys are mean.

I read all your comments on Twitter. I can’t believe you all didn’t know it’s an open platform.

Here was I, working hard on TV and you guys are writing mean things about me.

When I told Mum some of the things you all said she just told me to be a big boy and that, ‘Haters gonna hate.’

I don’t even know what she meant. Does she mean you guys hate me? Oh my god, maybe she does!

That can’t be right. People like me. Everyone at work likes me.

Simon, my Chief Operating Officer is my best friend. He jokes with me every Friday.

I say, ‘Where are the after work drinks?’ and he always pretends no one wants me to come.

He does it totally straight faced until I offer to pay for all the drinks. What a great guy.

I don’t know why you guys don’t like me being on television every five minutes.

Some of you say I shouldn’t be giving commentary on television about sport.

But I love sport!

Whether I’m sitting back watching the Sydney Giants in the League or at the game seeing Gerry Ablett Snr dazzle at fly-half, I can’t get enough.

I was there that day Shane Warne got that wicket for the thing!

I love the fact that sport makes you all equal.

Mixing with the ‘common people’ is when I feel most at home. Well obviously not my home, unless it’s the day the cleaners come.

Just the other day, I was commenting to someone that this heatwave in Melbourne must be awful for poor people.

Does this sound like someone who doesn’t care about you? Why then do you hate me?

Is it my looks? I’ve always suspected I’m too good looking. My Dad always said I had delicate cheekbones.

Anyway, what we need, Twitter friends, is to get to know each other better.

I’ll tell you what I’ll do, I’m going to double my marketing spend so we can see each other more.

I might even buy Channel Ten. What’s that going to cost me? $10,000?

That way well get to see each other all the time and you’ll see that I really am a great guy.

Speak soon!

Tom