The National Basketball League was established in 1979 and 2013/14 represents its 35th Season. We are actually a professional league despite the public perception.

Recently, we’ve got rid of heaps of people and have a new strategy and focus.

Our new tagline, ‘Yes! We Still Exist’, encapsulates the desperation we have to return to the brief hey days of the 90s. Remember Chris Jent? No?

What about Andrew Gaze? The guy who’s now on that footy show? Yeah, everyone loves Gazey.

Anyway, as part of our new direction, we are looking to expand our competition again. It worked so well last time.

As a result we are calling for expressions of interest from those keen to operate an NBL license in South East Melbourne.

Persons/entities/organisations interested in being involved in the establishment of this NBL team should meet the following criteria:

• Have more than $7 in a saving account (negotiable)
• Enjoy mainly being ignored by the sports media and general public
• Have access to some sort of gym or basketball-ey type venue
• Have a deep understanding of basketball (like you played NBA Live 95 on the Mega Drive or similar).
• Keen to own an organisation that requires cheerleaders
• Can’t get involved in AFL, NRL or the A-League due to no one knowing who you are or legal problems
• Likes hanging around with very tall people
• Is terrible at business
• Enjoys losing money

If you meet any of these criteria or can just spare a few dollars, we would be very keen to hear from you.

Our office is on the steps of Flinders’ Street station. I’m the guy wearing an old Gold Coast Rollers tracksuit.