Mar 05, 2018


David Warner apologises for being David Warner


At a packed media conference in South Africa, David Warner has apologised unreservedly for being David Warner.

The apology came after an altercation with South African batsman Quinton De Kock in a stairwell during the tea break of day four of the first Test.

The incident was caught on a security camera, in what’s believed to be the first ever David Warner stairwell altercation captured on film.

While the altercation is seen as a clear indication that Warner is ready for Federal politics, its considered unacceptable behaviour at a Test cricket level.

In a heartfelt apology written by several members of the Cricket Australia media team and signed off by seven executives, Warner apologised for behaving in a manner ‘totally in character.’

“My actions have not only brought the game into disrepute but made the South African Cricket team seem like the good guys.”

Cricket Australia said Warner would be banned from watching cartoons for two weeks.

Titus will be performing at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and the Sydney Comedy Festival.

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Mar 05, 2018

'totally in character.'


Mar 05, 2018

There's a position in the National Party with your name on it David and as a Northern beaches resident, you are entirely suited to look after the men and women of the bush. See you in the Hellfire club for a single malt.


Mar 05, 2018

A high brow school yard "De Kock" sledge met with a rebuttal of impossible to comprehend proportions.

John Nicholls

Mar 05, 2018

Good to see you warming up for the footy season, Titus. But I dunno what the fuss is about. What happens in the stairwell and in the players race stays there. I always found those places handy for sorting out disagreements.

M. Lodge

Mar 05, 2018

Just a quick thanks for shifting the focus off me. Cheers Mate!


Mar 05, 2018

So is Warner De Kock orrrrr....?


Mar 05, 2018

good humor Titus. Reminds me of myself, when I'm brought crashing back to earth after committing yet another massive fuck-up in my everyday life.

K. Hunt

Mar 05, 2018

and he hadn't even had a drink? Nice work.

I Lambert

Mar 06, 2018

Come on people, is this what a vice captain does to influence the kids. Little time for players that ruin the game however good they are.


Mar 06, 2018

Because of course, De Kock is a saint...... I doubt Warner comments on opposing players wives, or is this acceptable to you I Lambert??

Bill Porter

Mar 06, 2018

Just another case of the over sensitivity and softness of modern Australia. As a country we need to toughen up and if we can't take the heat then STFU. Warner has been the most notorious sledger in modern Australian cricket history and too lose his cool like that because someone finally got under the skin of the sledger king is a serious weakness that he needs to address. Look at some of the greatest sledges on you tube that were pretty personal between McGrath and others and you will see how soft and sensitive we have become. It doesn't mean it's right to get personal but if you want to cheat to get into someone's head it's going to eventually get personal so best for Warner to cut it out and perhaps someone else will ease off too.

And if Warner is half smart pick on someone with a name like Jones or Smith not de kock that opens up a lot more avenues than Warner needs to ponder.


Mar 06, 2018

So don't put it on tv. How did it come to be leaked anyway?

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